Having a rough night....

[aeast]

I am sitting at home all alone - and missing my boy more  than ever. It has been almost 2 weeks since he left. I mailed off my first letter to him today!  I can not wait till I receive my first letter from him! How is everyone coping? I feel like I am struggling. There are so many changes going on right now in my life - not just my son joining the Navy.   Since he left, I have been trying to keep myself busy, but sometimes I just fall apart. Is that ok to allow myself to do that? I have to be strong for my other kids - but sometimes it is so hard. I guess I am asking for some words of encouragement! Any words would be nice! Thank you!

[aeast]

Thank you so much momofbp! I am trying to hold it together for my other children. I am so glad I found this site :)

[hulawithjen]

Oh aeast... Your post just brought tears to my eyes... No one really knows your struggles better than you. On the other hand, please try to remember that even though we are strangers, we all have one thing in common: It is hard for us as mothers to let our kids go, but our babies have signed up for noble careers in the US NAVY to build better futures for themselves. For myself, I had been a single mom until I met my husband (my boy was 9 at the time.) As u can imagine, my son & I only really had each other for a long time... Fortunately I was blessed to find a man whom my son loves to pieces and has since called him "Dad" even before we got married! Now it seems as though that separation anxiety that an infant feels when it's mother leaves for work has reversed on me!! I, too have been on a rollercoaster of emotions since 6/18/14 (actually even months before that!) One minute I'm ok, and the next I'm sobbing like a little girl who lost her most treasured doll :-( I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has their own story to tell... Actually at first, my husband was so worried about me that he thought it might be a good idea to seek some kind of professional help to get through my despair - lo & behold, upon reading about everyone's experiences here on N4M, I'm finding it completely normal to have these topsy turvy feelings & I'm forever grateful to have been introduced to this site as it has helped me tremendously!!! We may all have different experiences, but sometimes we just need to vent by posting to others who are sort of on the same "ship" regarding our kids...

Go ahead & shed those tears for your boy in your solitude - but also, make the extra effort to leave your house & visit with a friend or relative & get some fresh air!! You may not feel like it at the moment & it may not feel right to smile right now, but speaking from experience, you will definitly be glad that you did!!!

I hope you don't mind my long message... And I do hope you turn that frown upside down! :-) I will keep you, your sailor, and your family thoughtfully in my prayers... Aloha!

[aeast]

Hulawithjen - Thank you so much for taking time to write me! It has helped me so much to get on N4M and write my thoughts down. I love all the words of encouragement and ideas that everyone is sharing. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and prayers! I will pray for your son and your family also. When is his PIR?

[Deanna]

Oh my goodness... I feel you.. I miss my boy terribly.. I am a generally happy fun loving chick but I feel so weird and like a damper is on me without him around! I never expected this! He's been in DEP for a year! The reality of all of this is so different and just like he said, so much harder than he thought.. So much harder for me too!

[FLMuscadine]

Dear aeast, we have all gone through some of that. Your post breaks my heart....but there is a silver lining which you should keep in mind. We raised these kids, and we have to trust we taught them enough for them to decide what to do with their lives. Initially I felt apprehensive and cautiously optimistic. After having gone through bootcamp and A school I am relieved, happy and proud of what he has done. His will is about to be tested. Make sure you are ready to cheer his parade when you get that call where you know his world feels like is falling apart. He counts on you. Be strong. He will thank you for that. Some wine, a manicure, a movie or whatever works....treat yourself and enjoy the ride. Your work is done. I remember back in November tears every time I listened to any country song my son liked. I listen to them every day, and it brings a smile to my face....I know how he used to dream. He is living his dream and learning to be a man....a good one. We made it, my kids and I. You will too.

[Loud Proud & Petrified]

I know exactly how you feel. I have 4 kidsy SRs my oldest. I try and put a happy face on for them but I'm heartbroken and falling apart. It's perfectly normal. We're here for you. We're all goin through it.

[hulawithjen]

See aeast!! Look at all of these awesome Navy Moms & their wonderful words of wisdom :-) We are all here for each other & all of our Recruits & Sailors!!! I hope you are starting to find a bit of comfort here just as I did :-) You are more than welcome! My Baby Boy's PIR is 8/15/14 Ship 13, Div 250 what is yours?

[Michelle]

It will get better each day. Keeping yourself busy helps  a lot I have been doing that also . I have two other kids that are teenagers 13&15 you need to be there for them also I found out for myself the other day my 15 year old  son told me how much he misses his brother and then he started crying and telling me it's to different without him I was surprised by his emotions he not a very emotional kid . My SR and my other son use to fight a lot but that is a normal brother thing my daughter has been real quite she has handle things ok she did put a picture of her brother in her room she told me the picture helps not to miss her brother so much . Your emotions are normal . Mine have been up and down also. Hang in there, 

[Publichealthgal]

I'm getting used to the idea of him being gone, but I have my moments that come out of the blue. One time I was sitting with my friend in a Subway at the university I go to, so there were students around. Some song was playing that had a message of "You can do it" and I just started crying. I waved my hands in front of my eyes and started laughing to try to stop, but the tears kept coming. My friend was looking at me like "Oh you poor thing" and of course she's all of 24. So I know what you mean, it's definitely this weired kind of adjustment that only we mom's of military kids can understand. Hugs to you.

[2ndtimearound]

Hi, aeast. I think these first couple of weeks are the hardest, but soon they will be part of the past. I was thinking this morning about how a group of recruits are graduating this morning, and how wonderful that must feel for them and for their families. And each day, each week that goes by, we are all that much closer to it! Soon - very soon - that will be us. 2 weeks down, 6 to go! 

I find it's hard to concentrate, so I have to force myself to stay busy, This has never been a problem for me! I've also  never wished the summer away before in my life......funny what these kids do to us, isn't it?! 

[NavyDaughter/Mom]

I remember breaking down in tears for no reason - at any point of the day.  It's been 1 1/2 years now and I still miss more than I thought possible.  But, this is how I raised my son, to go off an live his life.  I am extremely proud of what he (and ALL the others) are doing.  It does get better, over time you will see his accomplishments and you'll be so proud of the man you raised.  Even though my son and I are opposite sides of the country, we're still as close as we ever were.  Our relationship has just changed....for the better.  Hugs to you, cry when you need to!  We all love you!!

[Leach73]

aest,
my daughter left for boot camp back on Feb. 19 and she PIR'd April 18th, now she is in Norfolk. Chicago is home for us. So from Feb. 19 thru April 18th - yes, I cried. I cried a lot. Mostly when I was alone and then when someone would as me about her, tears would fill my eyes but I spoke of her with such pride. Was I worried for her? yes! I missed her like crazy and I still do. She is my only girl and eldest of my 3 children. Just as many other ladies have posted on here, you are not alone with your feelings, it is normal to feel like you are struggling and it sux!! It doesn't get easier, you just get stronger and each day that passes is one day closer to PIR. He will make it!! Send him letters EVERYDAY!!! Cards and pictures of the family, too! My daughter told me that the letters she received kept her going and lifted her spirits everyday and she missed us too! Just know that your son will be taken care of but bootcamp is designed to be tough in the beginning but things will turn around and when you see him at graduation, you will see the fine Sailor that he has been transformed in to. ON that day you will be crying tears of JOY and PRIDE and HAPPINESS!!! Truly an amazing day!!

Well, back to Feb. 19, that night I went into her room and just sat there, and prayed for her. I took one of her favorite fleece blankets and took it to bed with me, prayed some more and just hugged it til i fell asleep. I have been sleeping with that blanket ever since...

OUr babies are growing up, and as much as we wish we could have them by our sides forever, the reality is that now they are living their dreams and we as parents have done a great job to get them to where they are. One of my coworkers told me this: Our kids are like a kite. Us as the parents, hold on to the string and little by little, we give the string some slack to let the kite fly higher and we are still in control, we run under the kite so that it can soon start to soar and when it gets high enough, we cut the string to let the kite fly on its own...

We are NAVY moms now! Stay strong! HOOYAH!!