Feeling down

[hearthhaven]

Our son doesn't leave for BC until January 6th but I am struggling pretty badly this morning with his leaving in January. I don't want him to leave. I don't. I don't I don't. I am going to miss my baby  so very much. I feel like the time has all be squandered and I haven't spent enough with him over the years. I want a redo to appreciate each of those lost precious moments. I swear I would embrace them more and cherish them more deeply. They are just gone. Gone too fast. I want to run away with him and just hold him and not let go. Do something special to remember. Just me and him. My heart is breaking and my soul is aching and my whole body feels the pain. This just sucks! So bad.

[Jennifer PIR 12/05/14]

I felt the same way. Still do. My son left Wednesday. I had a very hard time getting my last hug and having to let him go. No matter how we as moms feel I'm learning we have to be strong for our children and support them in their decision they've made. My sons original leave date was October 28 and it got moved 20 days earliern I was heartbroken. I will say this....don't dwell on what you should have done with him in the past. Enjoy the time you have with him until he leaves. Make the upcoming holidays count.

[hearthhaven]

Having it moved up to earlier date would be so hard.  I can't even imagine prepping yourself for a particular date and then having it moved up.  Hugs! 

[kkcs46]

well said Jennifer. We have to uphold their decisions and cherish the new memories we will have. Love our Sailors.

[NavyDaughter/Mom]

My son left 12/12/12 for basic.  And I swear that your comment above could have written by me!!!!  It was so hard when he left, we were so close!  I cried soooo hard for so long!  But, believe it or not it will get better.  It will never be the same, but even if he didn't go in the Navy - it's still time for him to grow up and start his life. So, 2 years later, I still cry sometimes, but my son and I are STILL close.  We have a new kind of relationship now.  I know in my mind that I was a good mom, and that i did everything I could while he was growing up. I gave him the best childhood possible.  But, leading up to him leaving, I questioned everything about the previous 18 years and everything that i could have possilbly done differently.  But, you can't turn the clock back...so stop thinking about the past, focus on the future, and be so proud that your son has chosen this path.  You are gaining a family here, and I would suggest that you use us as often as you need to.  Oh, and I am super proud of my son, but there are still days when I hate the fact that he's in the navy and I get to see him 14 days a year.  Good luck to you....God bless your son, you and your family.

[outi]

Hearthaven........he needs your support not your tears. BC is rough and mentally and physically draining.......look forward to graduation and writing cards and letters every day......and send him off with a smile and I'm here attitude:-)

[momacharlie]

Hello, I haven't been on the site in a very long time, as my son has been in four and a half years now. I felt compelled to reply to your comments. I felt your "heart" I just wanted to say "no regrets" no looking back :) we do the best we know to do in raising our children and we let them go to find their way. I know its hard to believe but this new venture will work out and "YOU" will be ok through the process.. Good days are a part of the process, but bad ones are as well. But I promise you will be "good" Look forward to seeing your "Sailor" mature and finding his way...enjoy the journey!!!! Blessings to you and your family!

[Tara22]

hearthhaven- Reading what you wrote sounds exactly words coming from my own mouth.  It sounds like every mom lol.  I think that by far letting go of my son was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  You have created so many memories with your child and you will be amazed at the things that he has as memories that you may not even remember.

Cheerish the time that you have with him.  I think the hardest thing for any mother is letting go.  My son is still in bootcamp and I sit and think about how many thing I would do differently if I could just have that do over myself, but then I think about where my son is! I did something right because he has grown into a strong, smart young man and really that is the best accomplishment that any mother could ask for.

You stay strong for him, you have done a fabulous job!

[MattsMom]

I almost cried reading your message. I felt exactly the same way. Sick to my stomach at the thought of him leaving. I cried to so much, so often I went to the Dr and had to go on anti-depressant meds! We were also so very very close; we went to the gym together, beach together, had long talks, etc. He is an amazing kid and I miss him every day. We went to his PIR from boot camp on 10/3 and seeing him that weekend was a feeling I can't describe. I finally felt "whole" again holding him. He is in A school now and I spoke with him last night. He called and said "mom, how do I do laundry?" So funny! I miss him every moment of every day but I know he is doing what he wants to do and he is growing into the man I raised. I am very proud of him and I know you are of your son as well. He feels your love, don't worry. It will see him through!

[LMC -mom of 2 Sailors!]

Here's a few tidbits:

Remember you are both under the same moon and stars wherever you maybe. (I have a charm with stars on it on my wrist. I also have a blue star to show I am a Blue Star Mother. Next is the Faith Hope and Love charm-because without those we are lost. and then the Anchor Yes He is my sailor (x 2 because I have 2 now serving) to me it means he is anchored in his career choice and I hold down HOME for them.)

Remember you have had a job assinged to you and when he leaves for Boot Camp it proves you have done GREAT! you have made him strong and ready to take on the world. His heart and mind holds all the values from his baby days to now. He will do awesome!!

Hugs

 

[mamakitty]

I too could have written your post!

My son left on the 7th, and when I hugged him for the last time, I did not want to let him go. I wanted him to change his mind and get back in the car with us and just go home. I am only on day 3 without him and I feel so lost and empty. We too were very close, and I feel like a big piece of my heart has been taken away. I find myself fine one minute, and then I see something that reminds me of him and as soon as the realization of where he is hits me again.. I start sobbing.

I just have to be strong for HIM. I love him so much, and know that I will see him again soon. I'm also hoping that he gets to come home for Christmas.

Hang in there... I'm learning that this site is a great support system for us moms that are all going through the same thing!

HUGS!!

[Rave's Mom]

I know how hard it can be but be prepared because those last few weeks he will want to spend hanging out with his friends. Don't get upset with him thinking he does not care about you, it's just that he knows his life is getting ready to change and he needs to get all his fun in before hand. He will leave a boy but when you see him again at PIR, he will be a man.

[LMC -mom of 2 Sailors!]

Oh and BTW ask your sailor to do one thing for you between now and when he leaves. He has lost of folks he wants to say see ya later too ask him set a day for a Mom only day. One that you spend just with him. My oldest is in for 4 years now and he always has a "Mom only Day" and a "Dad only day" (we are married we just make sure he has that time incase he wants to talk or tell us someone alone) I'm actually traveling for Turkey day to see him alone. We do alone trips so he gets more visits and one on one time.

When he comes home on Leave Ialways ask him which day he wants as the "Hey I'min Town day for extended family and friends to come by" then I send out notice to the family and friends and say it's a bring your own pot luck. (folks all understand that the last thing I want to do is spend time shopping and preparing food when he's home for such short visit.)