Handling the Twin Bond Relationship at Bootcamp

[Sierrascrapper (ETN2)]

I wanted to ask about this topic as it has a deep impact on how twins relate to each other.  This will be good future reference for other Navy Twin Moms as their sons leave for BC.   I only have one son going into BC, but I know some of you have both going in at the same time or close together.  How do you plan to help your twin cope with the separation?

[Sierrascrapper (ETN2)]

Welcome SheisaSeabee! I'm so sorry that you missing your daughter. The fact that the other twin is devastated has got to make it so much harder. I hope you get a call from your daughter soon. That will help you feel better. It's so hard to not be able to communicate with them. My son hasn't left yet, so I'm not sure what we will experience with the other twin after he leaves. There is another Mom in our group who has twin girls and only one has gone in. She should have some good advice for you.

Hang in there. (((NMH))) in case you don't know...that means Navy Mom Hugs.

[jonandtysmom (9-5 & 9-26 PIR)]

Hi! We're both new! I don't have wisdom as my twins aren't gone yet. I can AND WILL pray for you!

[Mari Mom Z:S03 D033 & A:S11 D056]

I'm glad I finally found the Twins group, and hopefully we can offer some support to each other as our situation is a bit different. I have identical twin sons, one of which started boot camp 10/8 and the second one leaves 11/13. Prior to this, they had only been separated one or two days in 19 years, so I've been worried about the impact of this separation. "Z" who is already there, wrote back pleading for "A" to back out and not go. Z is afraid that A's personality will change, particularly losing his humor. Z is in the "regretting the enlisted decision" stage of boot camp and is trying to protect his twin. However, instead of discouraging or scaring A, I think this offered a challenge for A, not in a competitive way, but as support for his twin. They are so accustomed to doing everything together, therefore, A wants to feel the same stress/pain as Z. Although I know this will eventually work itself out, for the first time I can't really help them through this. It's very frustrating as the over-protective mom.

[CO-TwinSalorsMom]

Proud Mom of A&Z. Most kids that go to BC I think go through what you are describing.. My first to go was my second born (1min younger). He left with vibrato. I think he surprised himself with how homesick he got. Within two or three weeks he was very homesick, had a division that did not work together and the amount of discipline to a VERY independent kid was overwhelming. On the other hand he said he had deeply spiritual experiences. Now his twin sat for months, lost without his twin, when he went in he thrived at BC. he said and meant it, "Mom boot camp was awesome, the only why they could make it better would be to make it longer, I totally would do it again." I know he is a bit odd. I think that is why he is a nuke. I think my first one to go still has a love hate relationship with his decision. I just pray for him every day that God grant him many positive experiences. Meanwhile my second is thriving and finding out for the first time who he is without his twin. Great thing I think.

[doubletrouble]

Hi Mari! My twins left for bc 6 days apart & their best friend went with the first one. They did everything together before bc & it was the first time the were separated for more than a couple of days. They were a bc together, but in different divisions & had PIR together! Luckily for us we only had to make one trip. The boys don't really discuss being separated, if you ask them about it they will, but they don't bring it up. It has been hard on them, but they have adjusted very well.
I wanted to say for my boys,.bc did not change their personalities, they still have their own personalities, but are just more mature. It has been an amazing thing to see happen with them both!
Good luck to you & your boys!

[sassymom9503]

I am going to Chime in here because this is something I think about quit often My Triplet Boys are 18 and they have always been together all their life as you all know multis have a very special bond and I noticed something kind of interesting recently so My Son Baby B HAHA:) is My SR and he has been gone now for almost 9 weeks and very home sick the whole time in BC and this is not only the first time away from Home and Mommy for more then a few days but the first time ever away from both his Brothers for a long period of time and I cant imagine the pain and out of sorts he must feel to not have his brothers around but also Baby A moved out of the house and has seperated himself from both brothers about months before his brother left for BC and even though Baby C still lives at home he doesnt have much to do with him they dont talk or see each other ever which is so very sad to me it breaks my heart to see my Trio torn apart ....... Now Baby C was my epiphany He doesnt have either brother around and I have made a comment that he doesnt do much but School Work and hang out with his Girlfriend and then it dawned on me he has replaced his brothers and having them around all the time with his GF they are attached at the hip and that is his comfert so i cant complain about it to much because i know he is struggling and misses his brothers both so very much....

anyway I would think that the connection is never broken they are forever bonded and it is important to remind them that they should not not talk to their other half of third but sometimes when there is a seperation exspecially for boys its more comfertable for them to ignore the hurt and fill the void with something or someone else

[sassymom9503]

ps never tell my Boys I called the Baby A B and C they really hate it when I do that hahaha

[CO-TwinSalorsMom]

My twins did not have personality changes but a lot more mature. More polite and grown up. I know they Skype alot when that works. does not always work on ship.  Here is a beautiful pic Steve sent me of a place they have stopped a few times now. The only time he sends pics is then they are here, think he likes it hu?

 

[Betsy]

What a great group to form.  The separation of my identical twins has been one of my biggest concerns.  They have shared a room since birth and have really never been apart.  It has been very interesting to see how my one who has been left behind is coping.  He's learning to do things more with friends on his own.  I guess I didn't realize on how much they relied on each other to just hang out together.  One went on Sept. 19 and graduates on Nov. 21 so we'll be traveling together to go to PIR and the one who is left behind right now is really looking forward to it.  He'll get to see his brother and also see the base so he'll have a clue where he's going to go on Dec. 9th.  It's been a unique situation and actually a very nice time for just me and the one left behind for now.

[Sierrascrapper (ETN2)]

It is amazing how much they rely on each other.  It truly is an invisible bond.  You are so close to your PIR date for your son Betsy.  HOW COOL!  Is your other twin leaving for the Navy on 12/9 then also?  Wow!  I honor those of you who have their twins or multiples all in the military.  Stay Navy Mom Strong!

[CO-TwinSalorsMom]

Betsy, My two had a leader twin and a follower twin so the separation was good for the follower so he has had to figure himself out and he has thrived. 

One thing that may help but yours may not have enough time in between. When my first had PIR he smuggled out his BC handbook and passed it to his twin for study. Came in handy for prep. 

[Betsy]

Yes, the first gave his BC handbook to his twin to study.  I feel like he's really got an edge going in.  He left on the 9th and I'm anxiously waiting for my form letter.  They're hoping they can coincide leave home together in April.  I think the separation between them has gone better than I anticipated.  It's all new for all of us!