New to this whole thing! Recently started dating a naval officer! Could use some advice/support.

[tf13]

Hey all! I am not a wife, nor a fiancé, but a new navy girlfriend. I have never even dated someone in the military, let alone the navy, and could use some tips and pointers on how to get through long periods of no communication. Also, how often should I email him and when should I start to panic if I haven't heard from him? I am aware that I will not be notified of his well-being, so I am trying to be calm about that. What are some things these guys do on the daily? I am literally in the dark about this all, and I have been trying to research, but nothing seems to come up. Help! Please and thank you so much :)

[Anti M]

Email once a day if you like. Be aware all email to a vessel is screened. Yes, someone else can and does read your messages, keep them light. He may not be able to respond right away, sometimes for weeks. Never freak out, no one announces River City, restricted communications. See if he will give your contact information to the ombudsman. She can keep you in the official loop.

What officers do daily depends on their job. Unless he is a pilot or spec ops, then mostly a desk job.  If he were enlisted, I could be specific.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

I wouldn't ever panic about not hearing from them. Depending on what he's doing, it could be a long time before you hear anything and be perfectly normal. Even as a girlfriend, no news is good news. Are you at all in contact with his family?  If something happened to him, they would be able to let you know. I think the longest I ever went without hearing anything was about a month when my husband was on ships. If I wasn't hearing anything I would send one email a day- keeping it short, he didn't have time to read a huge backlog of long emails- just saying hi, I love you, I'm thinking of you, I'm proud of you, things are fine here.  There were lots of times he could read emails but not respond so the last thing I wanted to do was say anything he might worry about. My best friend's husband is a submarine nuclear officer and it wasn't uncommon for her to go three plus months with nothing. Everyone's situation is different so you should never panic about the lack of communication.

There are many officer communities who do lots of different things. My husband is a surface warfare officer (SWO) and while he was on ships, he spent most of his time on the bridge, in the engineering plant, or in combat working on qualifications when not doing his other jobs (being on small ships, he usually had one primary job and then several other collateral duties.) He's on shore duty now so things are different. There are lots of other communities though so depending on what his community is and what his specific assignment is, his day to day activities will vary a lot! If you knew what community he was in (for example, SWO, SWO nuke, Submarine, HR, PAO, FAO, Intel, Supply, etc) that would give you a better idea. :)