young in love and confused

[laurafaye]

Hi, I'm 18 and a senior in high school. Me and my boyfriend met in September 2014 right before he graduated. He didn't have a place to stay so my family accepted him and our relationship into our home. From the moment we started talking I knew he
was to be leaving for the navy very soon. He swore in for the first time and got his contract on December 2014. We spent almost every moment together dreading the day he left. He's told me I'm his biggest supporter and his motivation at bootcamp,with that I've been trying my hardest to be strong but I've cried all day since his plane left at 12. Also reading in on some blogs I'm worried about the marriage process and how soon we'll be able to do so after boot camp. He is also scheduled for A school after boot camp for 11 weeks. I'm just really stuck and confused in my emotions and the steps I should take, any advise would be greatly appreciated

[WifeofaUSsailor]

My husband left about a month ago for boot camp. I cried a lot the first day and a few times since. It is definitely tough saying goodbye but you also have to realize there's a possibility of him being deployed for much longer in the future. My husband and I are both 19 and got married in December of 2014, so I understand the whole young marriage thing. We have also been together for six years though. Marriage is a big step for both of you so I would think about it a lot before you make any rush decisions. If his A school is only 11 weeks I would definitely wait until after then to get married. They won't pay to move you anywhere even if you are his wife if his A school is that short. And it will be a good test to see if you a ready for a lifestyle of being apart often. Just throwing my two cents in!

[dobimom]

Hello there. I am a mom of an 18 year old daughter that just got married to her sailor in December. Let me first say I never dreamed of her getting married so young...however her husband is wonderful and we too took him in when they were seniors in high school. Your story sounds very familiar. The emotions you are feeling are normal and I will say it will get better. The time will go by fast and I hated when people said that to us. But it is true. Now the truth about navy life as we have learned these 7 months...it is very difficult to plan a wedding. We changed the wedding date 4 times. So with that said if you want a wedding ceremony and reception you need to be very flexible. It is not an easy task. Also with being so young don't rush into anything. This life is very hard. You are apart more then you are together and that is tough at any age. But especially at your age. I see the toll it takes on my daughter and her husband. You need a good family support system to help you both. Navy life is always changing and we now never really plan for much or get our hopes up on anything because it is always changing. If you want private message me and maybe I can get you in touch with my daughter. She can probably give you a lot of advise and will understand what your going through since she has been there.

[nicolel818]

Hello, I am 21 and my boyfriend has been in the navy for almost a year now, and I remember feeling everything you are feeling when he first left for BC. I had my crying moment the night he left, my dog laid in bed with me as I sobbed. But I knew that I was the motivation and support for him, so it is important to be strong. Letter writing was the most fun thing ever going back and forth. I journaled everyday of what I did that day, funny stories, and things I wanted to tell him. it really helped me be okay while he was gone, so it's good to keep yourself busy and don't be too sad because he is doing something that not many people are willing to do. As the previous ladies stated above, marriage is a big decision, and I'd definitely wait to see how being together through BC and A school long distance is for you. Once we made it through all of that and our relationship hadn't changed one bit, we know marriage is our next step. (we've been together for 2 years) Time really does fly so before you know it you'll be watching him graduate and it's the most exciting thing to be apart of :)

[HayleyMc]

My fiancee and I are both 19, and he just left earlier this week for bootcamp. We've been together for about a year, and just like you he moved in with me and my family before he left. It's really sucked these few days, but it gets better. Having something to look forward to definitely helps. Like phone calls and letters. It's exciting waiting for those. We are planning to get married once he's stationed for his A school, but his school lasts 2 1/2 years. Once we are married I can move on base with him. Not sure they will let you since his school is so short. You should be able to get married anytime after his bootcamp though. From what I've been told they give him time off if he tells them he is getting married. Hope everything works out for you!

[Anti M]

Nuke school is the only school that long, and the ONLY school which lets them have time off to get married/move the spouse.  Unfortunately, none of the other training commands do that.  

For a student sailor to live with a spouse, the school has to be longer than 20 weeks.

[WifeofaUSsailor]

I believe it has to be even longer than 20 weeks for them to allow the spouse to move. My husband's school is 25-26 weeks and they still won't allow me to live with my husband.

[Anti M]

Sorry to hear that.

At Great Lakes and at Groton, it is 20 weeks, and does not include C schools in the total.  Has to be the main A school program.  I am not sure about Pensacola, but the 20 weeks is fairly standard for other training commands.  

[beben528]

Me and my finally Husband have been together everyday for the past 4 years. I too looked into getting married after bootcamp, but I didn't want to go through the process so I suggested to my husband that we get married as soon as possible (so I can't help you with that). 

When he left on the 7th last month, I was completely torn and I had no idea what to do. I cried for hours until I would knock out and I would wake up with the worst eyebags. 

The one thing that helped me the most was writing letters. I've been writing letters since he left on the 6th (he needed to be in a specific hotel out of town for MEPS) and have continued writing everyday since. Although you can't send the letters until you have his address, you can send all of the letters you've written on the first day you get the address. I sent about 15 or more on the first day and he was super surprised with all of it, but he loves it. He won't send as many letters as you will though. But keep in mind that he's always busy (I've sent 28 and received about 6 so far). I know it really isn't fair for us to receive so little when we send so much, but when you receive one, you'll feel ecstatic. I promise it's worth all the stamps :)  Don't forget to send him tons of pictures! When my husband called me the 2nd time, he complained that I wasn't sending enough photos (don't send nudes, only send "school appropriate" photos, like selfies!).

Another thing that keeps me sane is company from friends and family. I don't really have a "bff" to call my own, but I've been watching movies with friends, and going out to eat, or chatting even for a few minutes. I know it's not the same as having our forever partners with us, but spending time with others really does help a lot. 

I have about a month left until his PIR, and if you have any questions about anything, don't be afraid to ask me or anyone else :) 

PS: Crying is okay. I've probably already cried an ocean. I still cry when I reread his letters or if I don't receive a letter in a week. But crying is okay.