Wedding registry?

[EmiRoseS]

I'm not sure who else to ask this since no one in my family has ever been in this situation. My fiancé and I are getting married when he comes home after finishing A School (just a small, simple, family only ceremony), and since we're going to most probably move in together wherever his orders are, I was wondering as to if I should start a wedding registry for household things that we'll need? See we want to have a BIG wedding and reception later down the line (like in year or so whenever it's doable) and don't know wether to save all that for then (since there will be more people) or to do it now since we need it? Or should I just personally ask family for stuff? Please help! I really need some firm advice

[Anti M]

Since you are not going to be on his orders and will not get a paid move to his first duty station, anything you get as a gift you will need to ship/haul yourself.  Plus, you don't know where you will be or what you'd need.  A big registry would not be the most useful option right now.  Registering after you are already married is going to seem tacky to some folks, even if you have a big wedding and party.  I wouldn't do it, but I know my family and friends, they'd disapprove of it as begging.  You know your folks best, so ask some of them for opinions.  

I suggest a gift card registry when you have the actual ceremony.  Ask for online cards, or ones from big coast to coast stores.  That way you can get exactly what you need once you have moved.

[WifeofaUSsailor]

If you're asking about the etiquette that comes along with that sort of thing, yes it would be sort of tacky to ask people for gifts but not invite them to the wedding. If you tell them where you're registered, you're expected to give them an invite as well. I would wait for all of that until you have a bigger reception and wedding down the road. For now, only give the ones that are attending the wedding the details of your registry. 

[EmiRoseS]

I should probably add that we're only 19 and 18, our ceremony is just close family cause we can't afford anything big (and it's being done in a local church by a family friend for free) and our "reception" is any family and friends that can come coming to a pool party and bbq, cause again it's not like we can afford anything more like a typical wedding until a later date. That's why we're having a more typical wedding later down the line when time and money allows.

[Eva]

I would honestly let people get you whatever they get you for this first "reception".  If you plan on having a bigger wedding and reception later on, save all the wedding stuff for that,  including the registry.

I think of it like this, if my brother or friend were getting married and having a small bbq reception I would still give them something. Probably a check. Just to say congrats. But I would feel like they were asking too much if they had a registry for the first reception however small it is, and then they asked me for gifts again 2 years later.

[Eva]

We did the courthouse ceremony and then had the "real" wedding later. We saved the registry for the 'big' wedding.

The courthouse was just me and my husband and we met up with my side of the family that weekend for very small get together. We got some gift cards, a few things and we got a few cards from close family but we got almost all of our gifts and cards after the wedding and reception. 

Also keep in mind you're going to be moving....a lot. So keep your registry somewhat small. Just things that you need and won't buy yourself like necessary kitchen stuff, nice towels, nice sheets. We only had about 40 things on our registry so when that stuff was gone people just gave us money which was WAYY better than having a bunch of stuff that we had to move around. I didn't want to bluntly ask our guests to give us money because I felt it was kind of rude, so that was how we went about doing it.