My SR is Struggling

[Angie0327]

I just got my first letter from my son. I'm so worried. He's not making friends. He says he's had more bad days than good. And most of the time he feels like he's not going to make it. Once in a while he'll have a good day, and he's is proud of those days. It was a very difficult letter to read. I'm fighting back tears now just writing about it. I'm feeling helpless. There is nothing I can do. I want to write him some encouraging words, but what can I say? Does anyone now how often a SR fails? I know how bad he would feel if he failed and was sent home. I pray that doesn't happen. Has anyone had a SR that struggled through BC and hated it?

[lemonelephant]

Jack 13, First of all, 900 divisions are performing divisions, not honors divisions. There is the Honor Guard, which is part of Ship Staff, but since he was in the choir in Division 943, he was in a Triple Threat Division and not on Honor Guard.

Second, hopefully you will be receiving a letter soon from him. If he does not send you a new form letter, be sure to write him and get the new password that you will need to get the vehicle/gate pass since passwords are PIR date specific. Keep writing those letters so you can send them when you get his address. You could check with his recruiter and see if the new address and/or division number is in the system. Double check the address against those at http://bootcamp.navy.mil/contact_recruit.asp or Ship/Division--How it Works.

Third, I, too, sincerely hope that he has learned his lesson and will follow direct orders from now on. You mentioned that he was ASMO'd to a division in a TG two weeks later, so join PIR 09/18/2015 TG 45.

Also, check your My Page.

[Texasmom]

Thank you for the information and for clarifying things. I am still learning the correct terms for everything. I did get his new address and put my letters in the mail today. I even was able to spot him in some pictures that was posted on facebook. That made my week.

[lemonelephant]

You are very welcome. I'm glad you got the new address and spotted him in the pics.

Check your My Page and see the comments I left on your Comment Wall. You have changes to make.

[chlipepr444]

My son left for BC on 7/21. I got his 1st letter that he wrote today. I'm so sad cause he said he is having major separation anxiety and does not like Navy life at all. I hope his attitude changes or this will be the longest 4 years of his life. Anyone else loved one experience this kind of feedback in there 1st letter home?

[lemonelephant]

It is very common for recruits to indicate things aren't going so well in the first letter and/or call--don't worry; it will get better as the recruits learn to work together and to do things the Navy way instead of their own way. Just keep encouraging him and let him know how proud you are of him and how you are looking forward to seeing him in his dress whites at PIR. Don't bring up his anxiety because by the time he receives your letter, that will most likely have passed and may have already. If the anxiety has continued, then you would have received a call and that would not be a good thing.

[KYNavyMomma]

I received my first letter and first call last week from my SR>  His letter sounded good. His call was okay, he is sick, but otherwise, didn't sound too bad.  I realize now that I asked so many questions, I probably didn't give him a real chance to talk very openly. He did say that his division is "pretty sloppy".  That concerns me.  I suppose it's normal. He did sound a bit discouraged- he stated that most of the young men in his Division are extremely immature.  Sounds like he is a bit bitter and resentful. He's only 19, but out of high school for over a year now. He is concerned that their lack of maturity and sloppiness is going to hold them back somehow-and it's a push division !  He wants to get through it and didn't act as though he had made any "friends". This is something I was so hoping for!

[lemonelephant]

Kory&Joshuasmom, It is VERY common for recruits to be a bit discouraged in the first letter and call and also for them to have the Ricky Crud to some degree thanks to all the germs coming in from all over our great nation and beyond. His calls and letters will become more positive by the middle of BC because by then the recruits have figured out that it is better to work as a team and to do things the Navy way rather than their own way. Yes, having a friend is good, but some don't make real connections until "A" School. It would be nice if he could find someone who also has a contract for the same rating so they can start bonding now since they will be together for some time.

Also, remember that when your younger one leaves next month and let him know now to expect it and that things do get better.

[AprillovesMary]

I can so relate... my daughter called me tonight. She is being moved to a recovery division. Left knee/ tibial stress fracture! I'm soooo sad right now I cant even express how sad (((.

[AprillovesMary]

I do hope it all works out for you and your future sailor

[DHDNavyMom]

I received my 1st letter today and my SR left exactly 2wks today. His letter was not the "cheery", happy letter I am hearing from other moms. My son didn't really sound like himself, he sounded down, discouraged and tired. I guess from what is being said above this is "normal" so I will try not to read too much into this but it still pains me as I can't "help" him and I'm mom and that's what moms do. I'm hoping the next letter is better.

[mompeggy]

Angie, My grandson did fail a test and has been placed in Asmo. He is devistated. He called me and was upset and crying so bad. I felt helpless to him to because I could not just cuddle with him and tell him it is ok. At least he tried and that is more then a lot of others have done. I told him how proud of him I am and how much I love him. I have told him all through his years I will always love him no matter what. No I have to live up to that because he is feeling so bad. It is very hard on them. I was told it is the Navy's job to make them feel as if they can do it so they will give it their all. Keep the faith and keep the prayers going for them. Good luck with everything.

[lemonelephant]

mompeggy, ASMO'd means that he has been moved (Assignment Modified). Recruits can be ASMO'd to another division, to FAST, to PASS, to FIT, to the RCU, or to SEPS. It sounds like he was ASMO'd to SEPS to be separated, so I left info on SEPS on your My Page. 

If I have used a term that is unfamiliar to you, go to What does ??? mean? (A Guide to Navy Abbreviations and Terminology).

Usually, recruits have several opportunities to pass tests and sometimes remediation before being separated.