Very Concerned

[sailormom]

I have been reading the posts to this group regularly - especially over the past few weeks and I have to say I'm more than concerned.  

My son is scheduled to leave for boot camp in December but has requested to leave sooner. 

He has 2 associate degrees - one in Diesel Technology and one in Power Generation. 

When he went to MEPS he accepted a rating for avionics technician (probably not the right technical term) but after he signed, someone at MEPS called him out and said someone in Pittsburgh PA had looked at his ASVAB's and wanted him for nuclear and did he want to do that.  He of course said yes as he was told how prestigious it was and not everyone gets that offer and he "had what it takes" etc. 

He (and we) EXPECT It to be hard but I didn't expect to be reading about a high suicide occurence among sailors in the program and people being dishonorably discharged from the Navy if they aren't successful  I don't expect hand holding but I would think it is in the Navy's best interest to invest in their sailors to be successful and that there would be an infrastructure in place to help that.  

My son was in a technical program.  He is has not had college level chemistry and the physics he took in college was technically oriented. While he is a bright young man - rapid assimilation of book knowledge with no access to tutors or a support structure is probably not a good recipe for his success.  It must be a very special high school graduate who makes it through this program with that kind of knowledge needed.  Although my son is 22 years old, I wonder if he got picked "out of a lineup" just to fill a spot. 

Since his not officially obligated until he walks across the gate at boot camp, maybe he needs to pursue a different rating before he ever leaves for boot camp. 

[Marcia1976]

Glad to hear it is more classwork than homework... my son is a great tester but homework in't his strong suit!

[Chipmunk]

Marcia1976 - I  posted another discussion  earlier today on Nuke Moms group - "A" school class schedule. My son just started his actual classes. He sent this to me last week. They have homework but all the work is done in the Rickover building, because they are not allowed to take anything out or electronics in for security reasons.

You might have looked at it already, but thought I would mention it.

[tina41]

my son left for boot camp about 5 weeks after high school graduation which he have a "b" average. he was also told he would be a good candidate for the nuke field.  he was going to go in for corpsman.  he had to take his swimming test 6 times to pass it while in boot camp. he still went to PIR with the rest of his division.  he did ok in A school.  was pretty much on mandatory hours during power school.  he wanted to quit in prototype but was encouraged by the navy to finish.  he was the last one to finish in his class, but he did it!! I am so proud of him!!  he is now in HI and has re-enlisted for another four years.   the navy will work and help them thru.  everyone has different experiences.  good luck to your son with whatever he decides to do.

[Marcia1976]

Glad to hear the Navy helps them... I figure with the money they invest they will help them and if it comes to worst case find a better area in the Navy for them...

[B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)]

This is why I freaking love this group!  The response from all you mom's is fantastic as always!

Sailormom - I hope these responses have eased your worry at bit....as you can see, yes this is a difficult program, but it is very doable.  And if it doesn't work out there's something else maybe just as good or even better awaiting your sailor.  Try to focus on the positive, come here for questions & answers....and together we'll get through this.  My son is getting ready to have his 3 year anniversary, he's an MM on the USS Truman.  He said Power school was the hardest for him, he always had mandatory study hours, had to re-comp and he passed!  He's a little older (26)....studying didn't come easy to him - he's not the typical nuke geek/nerd type (no disrespect to the nuke geek/nerds!) - he's very social & way more into sports & athletics, not gaming.  The point is there's all kinds of kids here & I like to believe they do look out for each other....just like us momma's look out for each other on here!

The best you can do is be the biggest supporter/cheerleader you can for your son.  And remind them like we did ours every day, that no matter what happens, it isn't the end of the world!

[Lilo54]

Sailormom - As the other Mom's have said, the Nuke program is challenging.  First of all, your son had to earn the spot and must have done well on the special test they give.  There is no being picked out of a lineup to fill a spot!   I remember when my sailor was contacted about qualifying for the Nuke program.  He didn't think he would pass but turned out to have gotten a very good score.  He was pleased but was disappointed that it delayed his MEPS/bootcamp start date by a couple of months.  It will be a year at Thanksgiving that he went to boot camp!   He is in power school now.  It is very challenging and will take dedication and determination to do all the studying.  They can only study in the Rickover building so there is no discussion groups outside of class!    Your son has already achieved two associate degrees so he is no stranger to having to study and memorize a lot of material.  My son had one semester of college and was never the "book learner" so needless to say, this has caused some stress.  But, he made it through A school so I have confidence that he will continue to power through and complete Power School and Prototype.  As with all schools, he has his good weeks and bad depending on the subject material.  They are getting an education at an accelerated rate so it is not without its stresses.  He also has made some very good friends and does not want to leave them!  I think that also motivates him to succeed.

   In college,  there is are students being expelled for bad behavior and there are suicides.  But, we don't hear about it because as Joniana stated, the colleges keep it quiet.  We Navy Moms are very supportive and are a close community.  These incidents are not more frequent than other institutions but since we are such a close group, anything that happens to our sailors, we share with others within our groups.  We are all concerned about the safety and well being of our sailors but we have to believe that the Navy wants them to succeed and keep them safe.  

So, sit back and stock up on tissues.  You will need them when he heads off to boot camp and when you experience how proud you feel of your son when he conquers each milestone in his Navy adventure!   He sounds like a very smart young man and I'm sure he will make good choices.

 

[NavyArmyMarineMom]

Hi Very Concerned,

My Son was recruited as a 17 year old at the beginning of his senior year in high school into the Nuke program because of his ASFAB score and went to BC just weeks after he graduated and turned 18.  I was shocked when he told me not only that he had decided to go military, but that he wanted to be a submariner Nuke ... this is a very free-spirited young man whose previous aspirations toward aeronautics engineering had him "inventing" all kinds of ways to test mans' ability to be projectile, haha!  But more than the limitations and dangers of choosing a Navy nuke submariner track, my concerns  were heightened (as I educated myself about what he was getting into) since suicide is a matter in our community where he has been personally affected.  

I was not shocked that he scored that well and the military came after him for the nuke program.  But since I knew my Son was likely to receive college scholarships,  I 'came after" the recruiter with a protective Momma's ton of questions and a hard-nosed "convince me" before I was willing to sign the papers for my 17 year old to start MEPS!

All this was added to by the fact that there were many tense moments between us during his nuke schooling that had to do with "normal" Mother to her eldest becoming an adult (and deciding to marry while in A school) tensions amplified by the ugly divorce between his Dad and me.  But overall, I have followed some advice that I was given during the divorce ... to only say and do the things to my kids that ten years from now they will be able to look back on and see that I believed in them, loved them, and did my best to support them no matter what.  I mostly did that, too!

I am happy to say that, now 3 years later, he is about to complete his first deployment as a Nuke submariner.  He and his wife seem to have adjusted well to their Navy life.  And, he and I (and his wife) are closer than I would have imagined by this age-stage in his life given where we were when he was recruited four years ago (he would not even call me "Mom" back then!).  I attribute that to my accepting the reality that the decisions he made were his to make and expressing as much of support, love and belief I could in him as the forces of the life he chose shaped, squeezed, and tested him!... also, getting connected in with Navy for Moms helped me see that I was not the only "freaking out"  Mom (my title earned for expressing my concern to his recruiter)!  And I would be amiss to mention that I have spent a lot of time praying - so much so that I think I should get some "more powerful than a Navy nuke" prayer award!!! ;)

YOU can do this!  And so can your Son!  Praying for belief, support, and love sent to you both for the journey!!

[BoyWonderMom]

Sailormom, early in 2013 I ventured into this group and in that particular time there was a discussion about a recent suicide. I was terrified, left the group for a while and concentrated in the bootcamp support group. One step at a time.
My sailors been in for 2 1/2 years now, went into the navy at 19. He graduated with honors in high school and so a lot of other kids. Had a degree before going in because of dual enrollment. He was more interested in socializing than studying at that time. Struggled and thrived and struggled again all through the nuke pipeline. Had to reboard his prototype orals and passed. So you are right, it does take a very special individual to make it through. Perhaps that individual is your son. Keep on supporting him, he is a very accomplished man already at 22, and the great things he will do

[Sukie]

There is DEFINITELY an infrastructure. My Nuke studied his heart out but wouldn't have succeeded without the very specific and consistent support of his instructors. The Navy does indeed have a lot invested in the Nuke trainees success, and they give chance after chance for every trainee to succeed. There is extra help available most hours. It's hard, no doubt about it (my son had planned on college with a major in history and a future in teaching) but the payoff big.

[CO-TwinSalorsMom]

Funny Sailormom, My son went fairly quick to nuke program from high school and he has always been interested in cars. So now that he is all done and has his PDS on an attack sub, he will take on line courses to finish up a nuclear electrical degree, then he wants to start on a mechanical engineering degree. He would love to eventually get a job for Tesla.

So he seems to be opposite of your sailor. 

[Pat L. in IL]

Sailormom, Whoa.......slow down.........take a deep breath!

These moms have given you some really good knowledge and advice. In the interest of full disclosure, my Nuke sailor is doing his shore duty as an Instructor at Goose Creek.

Your son could not possibly have been picked out of a line-up to fill a quota for the Nuke program. Only the best and the brightest are chosen. The Navy invests a lot of time and money in these sailors and they WANT THEM TO BE SUCCESSFUL! All studying is done in the classroom building. When they go to study there in the evening, there are instructors there to help the sailors with any problems they are having.

Will everyone make it through this program? No, they won't but they are not discharged from the Navy (unless they do something really stupid like getting involved with alcohol or get into trouble with the law.)  If they don't make it because of academics, they are counseled about a new rate (job). There is a few weeks that are tedious waiting before they are transferred.

I hope we have helped you feel better about your son's choice to become a Nuke. It is a lot of hard work but he will be fine! It is also a good thing that he is 22 and has a little maturity under his belt.

Fair winds and following seas!

[Razorbackfan214]

I can't speak for others, but for my son, his problem wasn't necessarily the pressure of school, but working school in while having a little too much fun.  The group he went in was a pretty well rounded group in that they liked to travel, play sports, hit the beach and stuff like that.  All that fun time led to some tough buckle down moments.  From what I gather from my son and others is the ones that have a harder time are the ones that have no outside life.  They tend to just focus on school.  That can be a bit overwhelming.  I was concerned before he went in as well.  He has been more than fine. I have come to love all the Nuke boys as if they were my own.  Enjoy being a Navy Mom!