New Navy Wife and Mom within a month

[BlessedOne]

Hello, 

My name is Nicole. My husband is scheduled to leave November 24 for bootcamp. We are expecting our first child on or around December 22..... My life is changing drastically within a month not to mention right around the holidays when I love to be around my family the most. I must admit I am scared, excited, nervous, anxious, and every other feeling in the world. But thankful I will have both my family and his family to be here to support me while he is at bootcamp. Everyone thinks the baby will come early because I am desperately trying to get everything in order before my husband leaves. But I know it will all work out in God's timing. I wish the baby will well enough to travel to graduation....

[WifeofaUSsailor]

Hey Nicole! First off, I would change your username, the site doesn't like for us to use our last names for security purposes so we can protect our husbands. :) I know this can be a scary and nerve-wracking time, I went through it myself (except not pregnant) last January. But honestly don't worry too much about your husband! I know it's hard not to, but I promise he will be just fine and the best thing you can do is just focus on your pregnancy and getting things ready for your baby. Will you be accompanying him to A school? When my husband was gone I just tried to stay busy, spend time with friends and family and find hobbies to do. Good luck to you and your husband and best wishes for your new addition! :)

[BlessedOne]

Thanks for the heads up!!! The plan is to accompany him at A school although he is only planning on being there for a month. I am still trying to find information on if I can and would it be taken care of by the Navy... All of this is very new to me and I am more of the detailed oriented one!

[Anti M]

To go to A school on a paid move,  it must be over 20 weeks long.  A month is far too short, and he would not be allowed to live with you.  It would be best to wait.  

[BlessedOne]

That is what I read too, but his recruter's supervisior told him we would be able to meet him there and they would pay for us to stay at like an extended stay hotel. I haven't been able to ind much information on that though.... I would be nice because I would still be on my maternity leave from work.

[Anti M]

No, that is absolutely untrue.   A school students are not allowed to live off base unless they are granted Live Ashore privileges, and that only happens if the school is longer than 20 weeks.  A school students are subject to liberty phases, he can't even wear civilian clothes initially, or spend the night off base. Even at the highest phase, they only get overnights on weekends unless they are Live Ashore approved.  Not going to be allowed at a month long school.  There is a reason you cannot find that info online!

I am sorry, but the supervisor is incorrect.  I hate that you have been given false hope and wrong information.  Which rating/job has your husband signed for?  It helps to know which training command he'll be at.

[Anti M]

This has me very furious, trying to figure out why a senior recruiter would give such bad information.  

1.  The supervisor is going off memory, and has not bothered to look up the latest regulations and policies.Or they are not Navy, perhaps a different branch.  Once upon a time, when I was in A school, no one bothered the married sailors with liberty phases or nightly musters, no one cared where they slept.  The training commands do that now, and are quite strict about curfews for every sailor.  Although the 20 weeks/six months to move a dependent is service wide, so I am confused.

2.  Miscommunication.  Because yes, you can pay to travel to his training command, and BAH would probably cover an extended stay hotel.  The missing details are that the Navy will not pay for your travel, and your husband cannot live with you during a short school.

3. Outright lies.  I doubt it, but maybe they were trying to send your husband off with fewer worries about seeing you and the baby.  That sucks if it is true, and I think the other possibilities are closer to the truth.

If you do choose to stay near him anyway, be aware that when he gets his orders, the Navy will only move household goods from one location.  You two would be responsible for either moving anything you acquired while in the extended stay, or for moving the household goods left back home.  Not both, never two locations.  I'm not a YN, but I know the regs or can find them if you have travel questions/PCSing questions.  

[BlessedOne]

We weren't planning on moving everything there. Just the baby and I with the essentials that can be taken in a car. I know that he wouldn't be able to stay with us overnight. I am looking at the fact that it is possible that the baby may not be able to travel to PIR at the end of Jan because he will be only a month. And A school is within driving distance from where we already live.

[Jyssicarm]

I just wanted to give words of encouragement. At first it will be hard. Me and my husband have been together for almost 8 years and have a three year old daughter.  After the first few weeks it will start getting easier  once you  start receiving letters and phone calls.Just keep your mind busy. In the end this will make your marriage stronger. Good luck.