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Attitude
Views: 336
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by luvmy3brats on
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Mine was a mess before he left. Sneaking out of the house after he was home, drinking and partying, and never hardly home. Even when he first came home on his very first leave we hardly saw him. It broke our hearts. Now he's been in almost 3 years and when he comes home, all he wants to do is hang out here with us. It takes a while, but after they're gone from home for a bit, they do realize what they have and start to appreciate it more. They are pulling away, it's normal. Trust me, he'll be begging for your letters when he's in boot. :) It always comes full circle!!
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Permalink Reply by Robbin on
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That is what everyone says...it is just so heartbreaking to see him pushing us away. Thank you for the support and kind words.
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I know, I totally understand. I actually just did it again with my second son. He PIR'd just last week and is now in sub school in CT. He too, seemed to pull away before he left. He wasn't a party kid like his brother, but the attitude was there. The first time that kid wrote home, he asked for letters every day. We were happy to oblige, but it took me off guard cause he too always said he couldn't wait to get out of here. Make sure to join your PIR group on facebook once you get the date. It will help you stay in the know with everything!! :)
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Permalink Reply by Forever proud on
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robbin my son went in two years ago and that exact thing happened with him, too. I think this is their first attempts at severing apron strings. It probably has several origins. Them trying to toughen their attitude as they know they will need to in BC. - and who better to try it with than the safest place and people they count on? Also we've all heard that people respond to fear through "fight or flight". Plainly they are scared. Who wouldn't be?I think some of them are just in "fight" mode. And I also feel that this is nature's way of helping us parents when our babies are fledging. Makes it a bit easier to let them go when they are acting like jerks, right? He's doing a lot of growing and changing right now, so dont take it personally. Just keep hugging!
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My son had major attitude as well. We were at it all the time. I was waiting for the day for bootcamp. But as it got closer I started feeling emotional that he was leaving home. That he was turning into a man. Now I miss him like crazy. I know most of the attitude was probably nerves.
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What great support you have all given me. I wish he knew how much i love him and will miss him and that him being a butthead is going to stay with him longer than me.
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Permalink Reply by Cameronsmom on
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HI, I hear you ladies. We had issues with our son too. In the couple of years after high school that he was trying college, less structure and more time to spend with friends we really felt were a bad influence on him...he became someone we did not know any more. He was Mr party at times, drinking and smoking, and then after his girlfriend of 3 years broke up with him, it really started. He did a 180 from the kind, caring and loving person that we had raised to being a, well, real jerk. It took us almost kicking him out, a couple of huge blow out arguments and then he turned a corner. A new cousin (by marriage) had just finished Air Force boot camp prior to the wedding in Feb. He talked with my son and after that, he told us he had been considering it for a while, but that he had convinced him to do it.
I can tell you that from where I sit now, about 35 days until PIR, looking back at all the events in the last couple of years I have learned this: My son was lost within himself. He knew he needed structure and discipline, but did all he could to fight against it. He had been hurt by the ex and distrusted women and thought that the kind, loving, giving and caring young man we had raised was the reason. BIG mistake--it was all her and the fact that I was right about her didn't help that. He was hurting inside and mad at himself and did not know what to do and would not ask for help. The changes that we saw in his attitude while he was in DEP was amazing to watch. When he left for BC he was great the night before when we were spending time with him. The day of though when most of the others were as close to family as they could be, our son wasn't. It was as if we did not exist and the old attitude was there. It hurt even my husband's feelings. It wasn't until he was getting on the bus that I knew why...As he turned to wave to us as he got on the bus, I saw the little boy that I dropped off at kindergarten for the first time. He looked scared, apprehensive and excited, all at once. The "I'm here" call was all of 23 seconds instead of the 2 min that they had and it was totally the script. In a letter that we just received, he apologized for the short first call when he got there. He said he did not want to get in trouble.
In the call that we got a week ago yesterday, the son we had raised was there. Not the jerk that his friends helped create. He sounded happy and 5 years older. HIs letters say it as well...he is starting to appreciate all that he had here.
There is hope ladies. The Navy will tear them down and rebuild them on the good foundations that we gave them, they will get rid of the bad habits ad disrespect and bring them home again. Its hard to watch and experience, but the wondrous thing of a parent's heart and capacity to love is that in spite of the attitude, pain they cause and all the rest mixed in, we still love them with all our hearts because they will always have part of us with them in who they are by genetics and by our teachings.
Sorry for being so wordy. I have had a rough week without my son. I have been blue and really missing him. I know he will do well here and that it's what he wants. If he's happy, I'm happy for him. I read something posted by a mom on PIR for facebook and it fits me right now: Your wings were ready to fly, but my heart wasn't ready yet. I can elaborate on that and say that it's his time to soar and reach for the stars and I am proud of him.
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Yes Robin. My daughter had a really bad attitude before she left. I just figured it was because she was the baby and had never been away from home more than a week. But i get to talk to her daily since boot camp and she is so humble.
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