Reenlistment... Happy... Proud.. Sad

[AlphasWife16]

Hi everyone,

I am pretty new to the Navy Wife ( Almost)  Life.... My fiance just reenlisted and got his certificate today... while I was so proud and honored and happy for the first couple of hours... it all set in and now all I feel is sadness. I knew it was coming all this time and I didn't think I would feel this way and I am almost angry at it.  Has anyone experienced these feelings or have any encouraging words to be strong for him and not angry? 

[Elizabeth]

My fiancé left 13 days ago and I was very sad the first two days after no communication. I am starting to have less sadness and moments of anger now. This morning was a bad morning and I broke down sobbing and was a bit angry. I just want him home and didn't understand why he would leave to do this when he could just stay at home like "normal." This is the first time I have ever had anyone close to me enlist and I had no idea what to expect. I am very proud of him and have a new found respect for him, but there is also sadness and that anger that peeks it's ugly head out sometimes. I think having so many emotions is normal, it is a lot go process and go through, for our recruits and us. I'm currently trying to stay strong because I have yet to receive a form letter with his information regarding graduation and his address. I'm praying I get it tomorrow, that will be 14 days. All I can say is that you will have moments, but it will all be ok!

[AlphasWife16]

Thank you Elizabeth!!!! I know that I have to be strong... but I just feel the same way you do... why do you have to do this.. why cant we just be normal... and my Fiance has actually been in the Navy for 8 years now... so he is used to being away from the people he loves.. and ... like you this is all new to me. I am trying to be supportive instead of angry but its hard. I know that no matter what happens we will be ok but I just wish this feeling would go away. Its almost like I would rather become numb than to have to feel this way. :-/  I have this really selfish feeling that I wish they wouldn't have accepted his reenlistment and they would have discharged him... selfish but so true. I wish you the best of luck! 

[Elizabeth]

Thank you! I wish you luck too, I'm hoping that your anger subsides and that you shake the terrible feeling soon. Sometimes it is hard to not feel selfish, I know a lot of times I will say or think things like "what am I going go do without him?" Or "why does this have to happen to me?" It's natural to think those things when angry and upset, but then I feel guilty because I am the one still at home with all of our friends and family and he is not. I am sure it's hard on him too even though he made the choice to go, I feel bad sometimes too for being selfish. At the end of the day we have future husbands who are strong, brave and amazing for sacrificing their time and their "normal" lives to defend all of us and protect us, and that's a truly great thing!

[WifeofaUSsailor]

I'm not exactly in the same boat that you're in, my husband just started his first contract about a year ago, but I have experienced feelings of anger and sadness a few times. I feel like especially during the holidays it's hard because I miss being home with our family. And I've had a few moments where I felt angry because there were some things that I really missed from home. I used to ride horses competitvely and I had to sell them and give up riding when I got married and at first it didn't bother me because I was excited about the new life we were starting but then I remember I had one day where I got so upset that I wanted to scream. I love my husband more than anything and don't regret choosing this lifestyle for a second but I totally understand feeling angry and sad. I think it's normal when you think of all the PCSing you'll have to do and deployments you'll have to face. Its okay to not feel strong every single second. I think honestly it's healthy to have moments where you break down and miss things about normal life. My best advice is if you really need to vent talk to a friend who you're close to who you think will understand or even one of us. If you want to message me and talk more you're welcome to! Some people say to talk to you're husband (or fiancée) about how you're feeling but I try to avoid that in situations like this when they're so excited about something and we're having mixed feelings on something we can't change. It will probably stress him out and make him feel bad. So like I said, it's totally normal (and healthy!) if you feel like you need to vent.

[AlphasWife16]

I really appreciate that soooo much. Yesterday was so difficult for me and I felt like I truly had no one on this earth that understood.  Unfortunately I did try to talk to him about the way I was feeling and just as you said... it really frustrated him.  I am trying to be strong and get used to this life but as I mentioned this is ALL new to me. I want that "normal" life... and I was really hoping that he wasn't going to reenlist.  Its like the same thing that I am so proud of him for is the same thing that saddens me as well. I really appreciate the advice it really made my day start off so much better. I get to see him tomorrow so I am really looking forward to the next few days!  I wish you the best and I am sure I will take you up on your offer to email you! thanks so much!!!