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Marriage
Hello all, I have a total newbie question for you guys. My boyfriend is in bootcamp, graduating this week (yay!). We've talked about marriage a lot and we both want it to happen at some point. However, we don't know when that would be best to do. I was thinking we would wait until after his 6 yr contract is over but if we did it before then, is there a "best time" to get married?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bronco14 on
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Hey girl! Congrats on your sailor graduating this week that's so exciting!! Mine graduated last summer. Him and I actually got married a month ago after he completed A school. We went to the courthouse and had a really special ceremony between the two of us and plan to have a ceremony and reception next year that our friends and family can come to.
I really don't think there is a "best time" and all of it depends so much on what your sailor is doing and what his training/schooling looks like. In an ideal world for me I would have loved to wait until after my husband's contract was done so we could have done it on our own time with little stress that getting married in the military can induce. But after evaluating our situation and what we both wanted we decided it just wasn't a practical for us. I moved myself down to be with my husband while he was in school when we were still only dating, and it wasn't practical for me to make another move on my own dime to his next duty station. And even though the duty station we are currently at looks to be more permanent, things can change so quickly and he could be moved to another. So being married provides us with peace of mind because I am "protected" in a sense as a spouse instead of just a girlfriend.
And even if you think things won't change much and you know the whole pipeline he is on, they can and likely will change! My sailor and I had a plan and they changed entirely. You just never know with the Navy. Which can be exciting but also a little stressful ;) I hope my experience helped provide a little insight! If you have any questions or anything you can always friend and message me. Good luck!!
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Permalink Reply by Loraine on
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Hi Bronco14. My sailor and I wanted to get married while he's in A school before he gets his orders so that I'm included in it. But with your case, you two got married after A school so that's after he gets the orders right? How did it go for you? I've heard that if you're not included in his orders, the Navy would not pay for you if you wanna move with your husband to his duty station. I feel like it's too costly moving on your own.
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Yes I was NOT on his orders. If you want/have to be on his orders then make sure to get married before his orders drop. At least 3 or 4 weeks before his orders go through would be ideal. It wasn't as big of a deal for me that I wasn't on his orders because I was already living where he was going to A school, and we just drove to his next duty station. But if you aren't on his orders the move would be on your dime which isn't practical :/ If you can do it and make it happen without stressing I would definitely do it before. Being a spouse gives you a lot of "protection" from moving and the constant unknown with the Navy. Hope that helps!
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Permalink Reply by SimplySimi23 on
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Thank you for your long answer! I really appreciate it!!! He and I will definitely be talking about our plan once we have more information on what specifically his schooling will be like
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Good plan! Reach out to me anytime if you have any questions. Have a wonderful time at your sailor's graduation this weekend!
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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If you know his rating, I can give you a general timeline. For the most common schools.
The other reason to marry before the orders are cut is to avoid overseas orders. Sailors who are E-3 and below cannot take dependents overseas. It can be quite complicated, and best avoided.
No need to wait six years. That long means a nearly two hear school with a lot of marriage options (nuke, AECF, SECF) come to mind. -
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He's in AECF. He found out yesterday whether he's an ET or an FC but I won't hear from him until tomorrow at the earliest. I didn't know that sailors E-3 and below couldn't take dependents overseas so that's good to know.
We're trying to figure so many things out haha. I am finishing up college and planning on going to physical therapy school so we're trying to factor my school into his Navy plans and so far we still have no idea what we're gonna do lol. We do know that we're gonna be long distance for a long time most likely but that doesn't scare either of us. If he graduates bootcamp this Friday, about how long do we have before he's given orders to his first duty station? About a year and a half right? I know it depends on holds etc.
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I was an ET, so was my husband, and I have an ET1 on a precomm ship married to an ex-ET who is pregnant with twins! So I am a little biased toward ET!
Expect about a year at Great Lakes, just for ATT and A school. Both ratings experience long holds; FCs even get holds after A school, waiting for C school orders. The C schools are all somewhere else. ETs have a wide variety, FCs tend to go to VA or CA for C school. ETs work on communications, radar, navigation, and more. FCs work on weapons firing systems, which is one of the "glamorous" Navy jobs. I think ET is better, because you can go to more and more C schools between commands. Very versatile.
He will probably either still be in A school or on hold for C school when Christmas rolls around, so he will almost certainly get holiday stand down leave. If you want to marry at home, you will have the rare opportunity to do so then. He will not need to route a special request chit or go to a class to marry during holiday leave. As always, things change, but this could be something to keep in mind.
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Wow I can see why you're biased!! I would prefer him to be an ET but he really wants to be an FC....but of course the Navy decides that haha. I will definitely tell him about marrying during Christmas. How long is C school usually?
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For ETs, C school can be anything from four weeks, or a combination of several short schools, up to schools which are over six months long. The C schools for FC run six months or more.
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thank you so much for the info! i really appreciate it
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