Success Defined

[Sheila Clark]

Well, it's way too early (or late) for this to be "normal" blogging time, but over-active thoughts often push rest and sleep away these days. Exhaustion and fatigue put a different spin on being a "night owl", but maybe I can write a few lines to bring clarity to my own muddled brain, and hopefully give a little insight to others who might be dealing with some of the same issues.....

Just thought I'd share some personal perspectives on success and failure, and the paths that bring us to them. And, just as importantly, how we act and interact with circumstances, people and our environment while on the journey towards one or the other. Actually, the first observation I have is: often, (for me, anyway) there are rarely ever experiences that are completely one or the other. Really important successes are always spattered with small failures throughout, and rarely have I failed without having at least a glimmer of hope that everything will work out, if I just kept working at it. The same is true for our young sailors.

They are being taught in theory and reality what it means to succeed. To succeed, is to fail AND persevere. Ultimately, failure only occurs when we quit trying.

It's very circular...sowing and reaping, planning and executing, studying and testing...you must do the first well and thoroughly, to achieve the second. But there must also be room for thinking outside the box. We have learned the laws of the universe through the scientific method, but leave out experimentation, partnered with perseverance, and it boggles the mind to think about what might never have been learned! Our brave young people are learning the "order" of life from the foundation up, and that calculated risk is necessary for any outcome worth achieving.

And finally, it is up to us to choose whether we stay in a cycle of success, or one of failure. It might sound trite, but I believe it's true, that success is 10% apptitude and 90% attitude. (I know I've read that somewhere~~I couldn't have come up with that myself). When I hear my son speak of what he dreams of doing, there is not nearly so much technical detail, as there is heartfelt commitment and passion. The process is important, but motivation is the life's breath of success. I hear it in every sentence, every thought....it oozes out of him, without him even noticing. But I notice, and I marvel.

If any of us Moms think for one second our jobs are over, we're in for a shock.... because God in His wisdom set up the family to be the "petri dish" for successful living, and the lab didn't shut down when they left the nest. We are charged to train our children, but we are also showing our children every minute of every day, what it means to be successful, or to how be failures, by the way they see us act, interact and react to challenges, successes and failures. Even now, when they are grown, they are still learning from us, about what it all means, and how their attitude makes all the difference.

Here's the bottom line: 1. Our sons and daughters are learning life's lessons real time, while in the Navy. 2. Their commitment and passion for their goals is the paramount issue, not how many times they miss the mark, or what anyone else says about their performance. 3. What we say to our children, is not nearly as important as what we do with our lives while they are watching (and they are still watching!)

So, this is a little sermon to myself that I've shared with 4000 or so, of my closest friends. Hope you found it helpful, but if you didn't, that's ok too.
Well, it's 5:30 a.m.~~so much for sleeping. The sun will be up soon, and so will my sailor....diligent, passionate and striving to become more of that man of honor, courage and commitment that his heart beats for...you go, Martin....I'll be cheering for you at each success AND failure along the way.

[Dianne (Drew's Mom)]

Very profound and thought provoking. Thank you. It's all too easy to whine and fuss ... much harder to put up a brave face in all things.

[Angie F.- WA: HM mom]

Wow, Sheila, and they say I have a way with words! My dear Navy sister and treasured friend, I had to read through this twice. It was so deep, so sweet and so right on the button of truth. I loved all of it, but especially this: "It's very circular...sowing and reaping, planning and executing, studying and testing...you must do the first well and thoroughly, to achieve the second." and the rest of the paragraph that followed. I know you to be now and I've no doubt that you were back then a great (homeschooling) Mom. You [and your wonderful hubby :)] have successfully raised 2 amazing young people! Though I'm sure you have felt the bittersweet sense of failure at times along the way. They say that 80% of what our kids learn is "caught", not "taught". Way to pitch it to them! They have two fine examples of integrity, service and perseverance to follow. Thanks for sharing your heart with us today. I'm cheering right by your side!