What is living on base like during deployments ?

[Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =)]

I was wondering if anyone knows which is better,living on or off base.?? My husband said that he doesn't want certain groups of wives to influence me to be unfaithful. He shared a few stories from the rdc's ,saying they claimed to be cheated on and that their wives were cheating on them during deployments. Because of that, Andrew is scared to live on base. So I would like to hear the womens side and hear another perspective from other military wives.

[Anti M]

Marriage is about trust, he MUST trust you, on or off base, or on the freakin' moon.

I worked with a man who married a twice-divorced stripper, against all advice. She'd go to lunch with him at the base club, then when he left to go back to work, she'd snuggle up with a guy off the carrier. I threw THAT skank out of my house at a party one night. No wonder sailors have low opinions of some of the wives.

the very worst case was when I was in Japan. The Navy brought back about a dozen guys off the Midway in the middle of a deployment. Why? Their wives had been busted in a prostitution ring. They'd take turns babysitting while the others would hit the base clubs. Legendary bad behavior, and sadly true.

Assure him that you aren't susceptible to this type of behavior, that you can find good friends who aren't running around. Ease his fears, listen to his concerns. Have the talk about trust.

I was a sailor married to a sailor. 23 years next month!

[BunkerQB]

I have been married to the same man for 29 years and have never cheated on him. We have two sons, 21 & 25. The older one is an officer. It's very difficult for him to see one of his men get a "Dear John" letter or find out his wife/girlfriend has been cheating. He is just barely older the the enlisted sailor that he is consoling but must provide guidance and support like a much older big brother and watch out for the sailor so he doesn't do something really stupid. My son said, "If the women knew how devastating their actions can be on their husband/boyfriends, they wouldn't cheat just for a few cheap thrills." When, one of his single guys get wind of the girlfriend misbehaving, he tells him, "You are a nuke. For every one of you, there are 10 of them to choose from. Dump the f**k**g b*t*h. That is an order. You won't regret it." He said it always makes them feel better and there is more than a grain of truth in his statement. During holidays, he always works so the married officers, especially the ones with kids can be home. Your husband bringing up his concerns, so you can talk things through and have a plan is a very good step. You have been given some excellent advice in the five previous comments.
N4M did not exist when Katy, Anti M, Sissi and Navy Aunt were young brides. Perhaps, you can start a GROUP here to give support to others who have the same concerns, take their vows seriously and could use some support. Some possible names: "Toughing It Out", "True To Our Vows", "Faithfully Yours", "Faithful and Committed" - we'll all be part of your support system. Find things to do that will not expose you to "players" - check in with you support group often. It can be done. It is worth it.
Regards, BunkerBee

[Steph_Proud navy wife & momma =)]

Thank you all very much for the advice. It really helps to know that I have others to talk to. I think starting my own group would actually be nice. Talking about it does help alot. I am glad to know that there are military wives out there who do believe in the vows we give to our spouses. Thank you again. =]