I-Day

[B mom of S]

Ok all... Here is where I need some insight. Tell me what happens on I-day... to him and to us as parents. How much time should we plan for?

What is he allowed to bring or NOT bring?

I would appreciate any help so we don't appear to be such "Blatent Tourists".

Also, he will NOT be 18 until after I-day. Will we need to sign something? Our Blue & Gold Officer says no, but it seems odd.

Many thanks for helping me become a seasoned Navy Mom!

Barbara

[HaleysMOM_Sherri]

We'll be there with our daughter on I-day July 1. I know she's very nervous and doesn't even want to talk about it. Her dad and I are so very proud of her and are trying to enjoy these last months with our little girl. I know I-day will be very emotional for me and even though my husband is putting on a brave front I know he'll be a basket case too. We parents will just have to share tissues and tire to keep a smile on in front of the kids.

[Leslie]

Congratulations HaleysMom !! About husbands putting on a brave front.... When our son walked out of Bancroft in his poopie suit in formation at the end of the day on I-Day, I was already crying. I looked over at my husband and he was too. Big tears. It was such a proud moment. I always say this, but, after I-Day, you and your family will NEVER be the same. It is all so wonderful !!!

[B mom of S]

Congrats to both Haley and Haley's MOM, and welcome! It is perfectly normal for them to NOT want to talk about it. They are processing, in their own way and they often clam up as time gets closer. A deer in the headlights, per se. I can tell you from my own experience with my own son that they are completely focused on getting thru this. He tested everything he had and more, and he did not want to think about what my concerns were, nor did he have the time.

I see some of that even now, as he is continually challenged. I was truly grateful to have the support of those parents who had been there and done that. It helped me know what to expect. It was hard to back off, and not ask or want to talk about it with him. We had shared so much, and I know even more so with mothers and daughters.

What I did find is that Scott had an even more mature "plebe" and "midshipman" attitude and an amazing resilience that I had never seen before. In essence a Navy attitude, which is what it takes; and why our sons and daughters are selected. I cried for the 1st 6 months as I thought about our last Valentines Day at home, our last Easter, our last Memorial Day (wow, amazing that those tears still come back even as I type this). There were a few times where he would take my hand and tell me it would be OK. After a while, he told me to do what I needed to do.

By the time I got to I-Day, I had promised myself that I would be strong for him because that was what "he" needed. Dad on the other hand was full of the raw emotion I had had 6 months to process. It helped Scott to know that I was OK, so he could take care of business.

I waited for the 1st phone call, and the 1st letter home. We were relocating as well and the letter went to our old address, and I had to have a neighbor read to me. When I went back to the old house, I was able to see the note......OMG.... I still carry the 2" x 3" post- it size paper in my wallet. It reads...

Dear Mom,

Camp is fun.... NOT!!!

It goes on to ask for several items to be sent.

Love Scott

w/ a PS... Please send Peanut M&M's and anything else that tastes good.

I must say I was most disappointed, but now I have to laugh and he does too.

You will be amazed at your child, for they are no longer a child any longer...... Wait for the transformation.... It is truly amazing!

Best wishes....

I will be thinking about all the new plebes and families on I-day and grinning from ear to ear while I shed a few tears too!

Barbara

[HaleysMOM_Sherri]

Thanks for all the encouragement. I just bought stock in Kleenex - haha! I'm really looking forward to all the great changes in Haley and can't wait to see how she grows.

Thanks Again,
Sherri

[Paymaster]

Barbara and others.....If you haven't found usna.org I would recommend you check it out. You will find it a wealth of information for preparing for I day at this site. It also has a web site just for plebe parents.

USNA.org was not around when we went through I day in 1997 and we had to rely of word of mouth (wish it had been). It is worth checking even if you don't join.

Jody
Fair Oaks, CA

[Catherine W]

You will get a letter with exactly what they are to bring, Do not bring anything extra! Trust us, he will have enough stuff to carry by the end of the day. When he sent back his acceptance there would have been a place for you to sign. My daugther turned 18 2 weeks in and I signed my okay when she sent back her Academy package. What happens to him,... well they go in Alumni Hall and get the process started. He will get uniforms, shoes, medical checks, blood draw, perhaps sent for another haircut, REEF POINTS,, learn to say Sir and Ma'am sandwiches, put his fingers on his nose to check his plebe cover and learn to salute. By the end of the day he will have a seabag full of stuff and boxes in his room to unpack. At 6 pm, they come out into T Court in front of Bancroft Hall. Go stand there early so you get a good spot. Depending on what company and battalion he has been assigned, he will either come out of the left or right side of the building, They file into the seats that are set up there and there will be some speeches and a fly over and they will get sworn in. After that , you will get a pre assigned place to meet on Stribling walk. When we did it was by the letter of your last name and they had signs up. You get 20 minutes. He will be tired and hungry and a lil stressed and wanting to get back. Make sure you have clear fluid for him to drink and something to eat. Nothing that will stain his whiteworks. You say good bye and see ya in 6 weeks and try not to cry. Okay I am crying as I type this, I will never forget that day. I cried all the 2 hours home with her twin sister and her other best friend in my car crying too. My other daugther and son crying in the other car with their dad. Try to make sure he eats the night before and that morning. Jess did not eat much, she was too nervous. Get there before his time to go in and if he wants to go a few minutes early, it is okay. He needs to, they don't know what to expect and they want to just get through it. Oh another piece of advice, read your second letter first,, LOL , ,I did and i was glad, what a tone change in 4 days,, for the better.


Oh and Plebe Parent weekend, was wonderfull too,, but was even better firstie parent weekend and the really best,, Commissioning & Graduation. I say commissioning first because we never doubted she would graduate but being commissioned was the prize as they say,, keep your eye on the prize. It was so special that my soon to be ex and I stood as parents holding hands,,

GO NAVY
I cannot say beat Army ( son is Penn State Army ROTC)

[B mom of S]

Catherine,

Thank you for your candor. I am sure to write this brought back lots of tears. Not sure how I do this. Already get tear-eyed when I stop and think about it too long. Seems like most Sundays I am holding back the tears in church.

There has been so many little tidbits, and I really appreciate yours about the clear liquid and food.

My husband and I will both be going, as well as out 6 yr old who adores Scott. We also expect Scott's older brother (23) and Scott's dad as well. We thought about grandparents, but ruled it out as my dad is 82 and the heat and humidity could be a health concern. Besides, there will be so much emotion on that day.

Scott will turn 18, about 2 weeks after he is there. Had never imagined I would not be there to celebrate it with him. How did you do with Jess's bday that year?

Figured it would be OK to say Go Navy..... and stopped there, knowing I was not going to mention "beat" anybody....Ha!

Again thank you. Sounds like you and Jess made it thru, and lived to tell about it. What a wonderful memory!

[Leslie]

Dealing with the birthdays is tough. My son was already 18 by I Day, but not being with him for his 19th wasn't any easier. This was the first birthday of any of my kids where we weren't all together. His older brothers would just come home from college the weekend that was close to their birthday and we all celebrated. But, when your son goes to an academy, all that changes. He can't come home whenever he wants. That is what's so hard about it. We 've talked on this site about how much harder it is to send an 18 year old to the academy than it is to send our 23 and 24 year olds off to OCS. Think about the moms whose sons go into the Navy enlisted right out of high school. They go thru the same thing we go thru when their kids leave for boot camp. They are so young. There is such a big difference between 23 and 18. I miss my mid more than his brothers, I'm sorry, I just do. I don't love him more, I just miss him more. The brothers can home whenever they want. Then, when my oldest went in the Navy as an officer , he was already 23 and had been away from home for 5 years of college. So, the separation isn't as bad. Haven't done a deployment yet, that may be the hardest of all no matter what age they are. I have a special bond with my mid. It is undescribable. You'll see. And it gets better and better the longer he's at the academy.

[Catherine W]

Barbara

I agree with Sherry on bringing granddad later if you can. Halloween weekend is great, the concert is a must see once in the 4 years your mid is there. It is amazing. Christmas concerts are wonderful too.

Birthdays,, the advice we got, do not mention it, so sadly, I had to let that one go by. I sent her a card that said love you lots and Cait loves you too, she knew what we meant.. Send lots of care packages and some ideas are, powdered drink mixes, propel and gatorade, spot cleaners, they used to have the wipes , they were great but I do not see them anymore, shoe laces, power bars, oatmeal packages, tennis balls, tooth brushes for floor scrubbing, tissues, febreeze wipes or spray,
Jess told me they febreezed them in the hall way. True story. It is very humid there and they get wet alot and sweat alot. Jess went thru several changes of underwear a day if she could. If it is too hot, they do curtail activity. And now Bancroft is air conditioned, in 2003 it was not.

Everyone's experience at the yard is so different and for each family it is different too. Jess did make it thru, not sure if she would do it again, per her, but she did very well there. Women's track team helped too. Plebe summer goes by sooooooooo fast. It really does. Before you know it , you are there for Plebe parent weekend and and if you go early for morning PT, you smell them before you see them,, amazing but true. We only took Caitlin, her twin with us and I am glad I did it that way. Cait actually had her twin rador on that morning and saw her sister before we did, we got a little smile and a wave, very low key by her side, as she ran by!! They are still a bit shell shocked and either want to sleep and eat and be low low key. Jess and I got back to the hotel and while Cait and their dad napped, we curled up on the other bed and she talked to me for 3 hours. Just talked. some funny, some not so funny but she got it all out. They do not want to see the brigade much that weekend so we stayed out in Bowie. It was within the 22 nautical miles they can go. Please adhere to the rules, if your mid gets caught doing anything they are not supposed to be doing, even as to not wearing their PT clothes ( wearing civilian clothes) when in a hotel, ( this has happened and mids have gotten in trouble) driving your car,( again I know of plebes who were spotted by their cadre) ,,,anything,,, they will be called on it.

[Sherry James]

Hey Barbara,

Just reading your post about your 82 y/o dad and thought you may want to consider taking him to visit on a regular visit during the week or a slow weekend (read: one without a football game etc) in the early fall so that he can experience it too. In hindsight, this is something I wish I had done with my mother during my daugther's plebe year. Just a thought.

[Carrie Venable]

First - here is the I-Day video I made of our I-Day visit: It may give you an idea of what happens on I-Day.

The line that he could show up naked and be just fine is totally true. Don't worry about that long list of things to bring. I would actually keep it light because he will have to carry that bag along with his white duffel. So, keep it maybe an extra change of undergarments, a lot of the guys like the underarmor shorts (long white things they wear under their shorts), and maybe whatever medications (if any), and the cell phone marked very clearly with his last name. Keep it light.

My daughter had just turned 17 when she went to the Academy - very young. They have a set of paperwork that they will sign. They are emancipated (adults rights so that they can sign all their paperwork themselves, make all legal decisions) after that paperwork is signed. My daughter said it was one of the first forms they had her sign -- guessing some judge must make it legal, but who knows. I believe there was something in the packet sent out in April/May to us as well. Believe me - it's all taken care of. They will cut those ties fast and your 17-year old will be treated as an adult (and will do just fine). He won't feel too alone being 17. There are a few of them every year, and they know how to handle it. (When my daughter had to get taken to the hospital, they made sure a Firstie went with her who could explain to the doctors that she really could sign all the paperwork at the age of 17 because she was emancipated.)

As for not bringing -- no food, not a lot of money, no electronics of any sort, no school supplies, no extra clothes, nothing.... Keep it light, light, light.

[Darlene]

For the most part we were prepared but here are a couple of things I wish I would have known. There are buses of Mids that get dropped off over by the Mid store. People stand there most of the day trying to catch a glimps of their kid in uniform and getting screamed at. We never saw our because we didn't know it was going on until later. Also, you need to plant a couple of chairs on the lawn or bring a blanket to sit on at the end of the day you get about 20 min with you son or daughter and they would love to sit and rest. Also, have a sandwich or a snack ready so that they can have a quick bite to eat and a drink. At this point they are tired and thirsty...

Good luck its an awesome day...get ready to cry...cry...cry....