Am I the only one here who's totally relaxed about sending my child to boot camp?

[Arwen]

There are a LOT of posts from mothers worried/stressed about their sons or daughters going to boot camp, I'm just looking for a little reassurance that I am not the only one who has no problem with my child leaving?

I've helped him study and "encouraged" him to keep up his PT so that when he goes he will be ready to take that test and make E-2 right away. I'm very comfortable with letting him go.I feel he's ready. I'd send him tomorrow if I thought he was ready for the test and was sure he could still get the same job.

Is it because we did this once already, sending him off to college last summer (2008)? I was just as relaxed then, too. A hug and a goodbye, a minute of tears as I watch him leave, and he's gone. Out of sight, out of mind, except for letters or phone calls.

Is it because I went to boot camp myself, I know what it's like, so it holds no fears for me?

Mostly I'm eager to hear about what he learns, how boot camp has changed from my experience, fun and outrageous stories, and to hear of his future adventures.

So, is there anyone else out there who feels the same way I do: pride that my son is ready to make a major step towards independent adulthood with a touch of relief that he isn't going to stay home forever?

[Paula S.]

I'll never forget the day I drove my youngest daughter to the recruiting station pretty close to four years ago now. I gave her the pep talk... "It's a new chapter in your Book of Life!". When I saw the petty officers that were taking her, I wanted to go too (made Tom Cruise look like catfood). No tears... a hug and a kiss goodbye... walked into my empty home and stopped dead in my tracks... "Wow! They're both gone!" First thing I did was clean that damn bathroom from stem to stern... stepped back admired my efforts and then there was the second shock of the day... it was going to actually STAY that way! Woo-Hoo! Yes, I miss her but this was "Mission Accomplished!" It's what our goal is as parents... to raise our kids to be strong, independent and self-sufficient young men and women. Nobody does it better than the United States Navy!

[Arwen]

Yeah!

I won't miss my kids (often) when I'm able to go online without fighting for bandwidth, when I do the dishes before I leave for work and find them all still clean when I get home, when a gallon of milk doesn't mysteriously disappear in a few hours (and not have to buy milk by the gallon) and when hubby and I want to make whoopee and can do so without making sure none of them are home. I won't miss them when we travel and we can get a single room without getting two beds and a cot (five people and two beds does not work well, in hotels without cots we have to get two rooms) and when a trip to visit extended family does not mean five airline tickets. And I especially won't miss them the day my husband and I buy that live-aboard boat and get rid of the tons of stuff

Oh, and I had the hugest crush on my recruiter when I joined, he was a blond Adonis type. I had already made the decision, my "eye candy" just made it easier to go through the process. I think some recruiters are chosen for their looks, There are too many hunky recruiters for it to be chance. Luckily both of the recruiters working with my son are, ahem, nothing special in the looks department.

[Suzette]

I'm so glad you spoke up! I was wondering if I was callous or something. My daughter had planned to go into the Navy for a long time. It was just a part of her life. I was glad she found something that she truly wanted to do and was nothing but excited for her. And, once she got into it, she did so well! She made me so proud of her! Due to a situation beyond her control, she had to leave after 3 years. Now, things are back to normal, and she's in the process of going back in. I will miss her, there's no doubt. But, I'm so happy that she has something to call her own - something she's good at. A while back, someone said "Aren't you sad that she's going to be leaving home?" I just smiled and said, "She's not leaving home....she's GOING home." I truly feel that way.

[Pueblogirl]

I was happy to let my son fly the nest when he left for bootcamp, but after we went to Great Lakes for his BC graduation, I begin missing him and have a terrible case of empy nest going on. It has been tough because he has not contacted me at all since early September, since he started A school, but reading these replies and comments, has helped me to snap out of it:) I'm sure he's fine and I'll get a letter or call soon. I heard that A school is very demanding.

[Arwen]

It's been a while, but my experience with A school is that the difficulty of the school depends on the student, not unlike high school or college. There are some who sail through with little or no effort on their part, and others who have to work their tails off just to graduate. It's the main reason why they use the ASVAB scores to determine which schools sailors are eligible for, so that they match sailors' talents to the job and have fewer dropouts. It's more efficient for the Navy to not assign sailors to schools they can't handle, but for those who qualify at lower levels they may have to work harder.

[Dawni]

I absolutely feel the same way you do! I am so proud of my son and excited to see the man he is becoming. I wouldn't change a thing. I have to admit was more freaked out the week before he left, thinking something would happen to stop him from leaving, than after he left. I told him I wouldn't sleep until he called me and said he had arrived... then i slept like a baby :-)

He had trained so hard and wanted this so much I couldn't imagine anything stopping him. I do have an over active imagination... when he'd be taking a run or on a 20 mile bike ride (at night) I would sometimes imagine that some idoiot would hit him and he'd break a leg or something stupid like that. Or he'd step on a nail and get an infection... putting of BC for another 3 months... Ok, I have to admit, I'm a Student Nurse and I was working in the Emergency department so I see it all... My point is that I can finally relax knowing he is there and one step closer to becoming a SEAL. What an incredible goal and respect I have that he is strong enough to step up and reach for his dream. So yes, you are NOT strange for being relaxed about his going to bootcamp.


Sure-- I get excited and giddy when I get a letter because i'm thrilled to hear about all his adventures... but never for a second am I sad he's gone.

PS-- you start a group let me know!

[Sue, Nate's Mom]

You know, I sent my "baby" boy off on Sept 18th, and the whole year he was in DEP I was proud and excited for him. I was and am totally in sync with his decision. I have never been a doting mom, and I had no fear of bc, because I knew he would do what he had to do.....HOWEVER........when I left him in the parking lot at MEPS on ship out day (I didn't wait for the bus or go to the airport as I could tell he wanted to do it alone), it was extremely hard. I mind this whole thing alot more since he is in bc, mostly because I want to be a part of the process and event, just like I have been part of every other major event in his 19 years. Another HOWEVER here.....I know this is the first step where Mom doesn't need to be there to catch him, celebrate him, soothe him. Now is the time the need to be there is gone....Now is the time to revel in the fact that I'm not needed, but am wanted. He doesn't need me to come to PIR, but he will want me there to share, not to make things happen for him but to participate in the successes that only HE is responsible for.

[Becky (mom of 2 sailors)]

I love this conversation! I've never been one of those helicopter moms either. If my kids forgot their lunch or their library book or their homework or their instrument I never took it to them. Guess what? They never forgot stuff again!

But anyhoo ... I will say when we left my son off after spending PIR weekend with him, he was scared to death about how he'd do in A-School. It truly tore me up because there wasn't one thing I could do for him. Nor could I really give him any valid advice because while I understand the college experience and the corporate world, I didn't have a clue what was ahead of him in A-School. It made me feel really inadequate as Chief Advice Giver. I knew deep down he'd be fine, but it was then that I really, truly, completely understood that he was on his own.

[Lesli]

Hi I am at ease as this what my son wanted to do. He seems to enjoy the NAVY. I put my concerns in GOD'S HANDS. I sure do miss my son.

[Jean C]

Hi Mommas, Not a thing wrong with you,, so don't worry! =) Moms come in different ages, sizes, personalities, and we all handle things differently. For me, I was so pleased my young one was heading off to Boot Camp (yes I did cry a little), but it was time for someone other than Mom to tell him "time out" and not be able to argue back. That was a long time ago,,,and I love hearing about his stories now about BC and all his travels around the world. For me, it's been an adventure of a lifetime, and he's such a great leader. He became a Chief a few weeks ago,,,,,and I wonder where all the years have gone....... I look at him and marvel.........the "know it all kid" that went to Boot Camp is now all grown up, and is what I call a mentor for the younger Seabees.
By the way,,,,,,,,, I had tears rolling down my face during his ceremony, so it's not that I don't have the feelings or emotions others might have about the young ones leaving. Rest assured, I had my time of worrying and crying when he went to the "sandbox". You stay strong, and know that our sailors are well trained. Good luck Mommas, and I'll be checking in to see how everyone is doing.

[SueS (ABF Mom)]

Thanks Jean for the wisdom! I haven't cried as mush as I have just really missed him. He was my kid, but also a kid I REALLY liked. I teach High School and I really do like teens but I really LIKED my kid. I just miss him... his humor, his ways of doing things (or not doing things LOL), just his being. That is what is hard. I will get to see him in 2 weeks and am very excited

[Salim]

As you can see you're not alone. I supported her decision, helped her study, ran and even went swimming with her. Her sisters, however, were not. It crushed her some, but she knew I had her back.

I'm glad she lived on campus last year so she has some balance with Navy life. She is one of those kids who wanted as little contact with me as possible, so I gave her space. At her swearing in she broke into tears as we said our last goodbyes. "I hugged her and said, "I know, baby' it's the first major decision you're making about your life. You'll be fine."