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Feeling helpless
I finally received some letters from my husband today (6 in total) I thought that I would be jumping up with happiness but I'm FAR from happy. My worst fears has come true and his not happy, I just received his address last Friday but he thinks I was ignoring him. He saids that the only thing he was looking forward to was my letter and out of 93 guys in his Div he was the ONLY one not getting letters. He said being there is like a nightmare and that he regrets everything, he saids being there is not worth losing his family and he cries each and every night. He failed his PT and swimming test.
I feel so helpless this was supposed to be his dreams and that's the ONLY reason why I made peace with him leaving but now he tells me he's not happy and that he made a bad decision. This is the worst I've felt since the day he left :'(
Views: 408
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mauz on
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Just hang in there, things will get better. I also received my first letter today from my hubby. He also stated that its been hard, especially him being away from our daughter and I. In regards to his PT and swimming test, don't worry he'll pass. I know it's hard, this is the stage where they feel this way, but it will get better. Just hang in there.
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Permalink Reply by TMM Ship03Div20(was godsgirltmm) on
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Awww Michelle, (((((Hugs))))). That must be very hard to hear. But try to remember that is probably just a lot of emotion talking. I am sure he is tired and it is hard, but I am sure it will get better. Once he gets your letters and knows he is not loosing his family that will make him feel a lot better. I will keep you both in my prayers!
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Permalink Reply by Bugsmama on
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Michelle,
Hang in there! This is when he needs you most. Write him and tell him you love him. You believe in him. He has made a wonderful decision for himself, you and his family. YOU must be strong for him and build him up when he is down. Together you both can do this! Encourage him and help him all you can. With loving words and strong encouragement. Failure is not an option!!! Dreams are attainable!! He CAN do this for himself and most especially for you and your family. Write him lots if letters with big letters saying YOU CAN DO THIS! CAN'T WAIT TO HUG MY SAILOR! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK SHARP IN THOSE BLUES! ETC.
He is at a phase where he can't see the light, but it will get better and he will pass. The trainers will see to that. Its your job to encourage him support him and be strong for him when he falters and build him up so he can be your strong Sailor come PIR!!!
Don't give up!! We are here for you so you can there for him!! So get to writing him honey and build that man up!
Love,
Linda -
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer on
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Hang in there! He will get your letters and he will feel better. It's a life changing event for him, and it's going to be tough, but it will get easier. I know that once he gets your letters and knows you're thinking of him he will feel so much better. Don't worry about the testing, it was their first test, they still have two others. He will get through this, and so will you! *HUGGS*
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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Thank you so much for your kind words ladies! I feel in a lost right now, I'm hoping that he received all my letters by now, I sent them all out as soon as I got his address (all 22 of them! I wrote two letters every single day since the day he left)
Since he failed his swimming and PT test does this mean he may not graduate on time???
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Permalink Reply by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on
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They have three PFA's in BC. They can fail the first two...but must pass the third one, which takes place at the end of Training week 6.
All recruits take ALL three PFA's even if they pass the first two. Everyone takes the third and must pass it even if they passed one of the first two.
If they fail the swim then they will keep trying throughout BC. Again it must be passed before going on to do BS-21...Battlestations 21, their "final" test.
All recruits must have passed all academic and physical requirements in order to be able to participate in BS21.
Your hubby is going to be FLOODED with your love! Remember that it is snail mail and that letters you receive in the beginning like this have been written several days ago...things change between then and now. I bet he has gotten your mail!
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Michelle - I sent you a Friend Request. Go to the far right column and look at the status box. It is at the top under the N4M Masthead. It has this in it:
(Blue bar with your username)
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TY! Sent you a message...check your Status Box again and look next to "Inbox". Should say (1 new). If not, then refresh your page and it should show up. You can access your status box from ANY page you are on on the site. You don't have to be on your Profile Page.
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I don't think so...he will most likely get extra training in these areas and retest again. Encourage him and make him feel better by saying things like, you can do this I know you can! I believe in you babe! Things like that. Don't let him feel bad about himself and don't whine in your letters to him. Tell him you are proud of his decision to follow his dreams and together you both will accomplished this! Tell him you can't wait to see him in his uniform! Anything positive but NO negativity! !!
When you feel sad or lonely come here for support don't cry to him or in letters. Always stay positive! Time will pass quickly and he WILL get stronger and see that he CAN make his dream come true!!! -
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Thank you so much!! I already feel a little better just hearing positive advice from you ladies! Will the mail be more consistent now or is the mail still a little wacky and reaching us weeks later? I write 2 letters to him everyday, one in the morning and one before I go to bed, I have been sending them all out in stacks by week, so every Saturday I send him all the letters I wrote that week. Should I keep sending them like that or would it be better for me to just send them out everyday as soon as I finish each letter? I don't want him to be the only guy not getting mail again :(
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Permalink Reply by ellen0502 on
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Michelle, like TMM said, send them every day. Mail call is something they look forward to, it is basically their only contact with the outside world.
Don't be afraid to send them "fun" things too, like a letter from a pet (even a fish). I sent my son a letter from our tree in the front yard, he always climbed it up to the day he left (he was 26). It had a trunk that split over the last winter, and we were in the process of bolting it together to try and save it, so the letter was about what we were doing to "him". I finished the letter by saying, "I feel so helpless, I don't know if I can go through the rest of my life as FrankenMaple." Have fun with writing!
You will find that the letters they write will change, upbeat to very low. This group is only a week or two away from mostly upbeat letters. Once they are through week 4 day 5 things really start to turn around.
Hang in there!!!
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