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Fighting to stay in the Navy
My son Nick was taken out of his basic training division 3 weeks in to it. It seems I made a horrible decision 3 or 4 years ago that could now cost him his dream of serving his country. Nick was diagnosed when he was 4 years old with ADHD and when he was 16 or 17 his doctor felt that he had "outgrown" the ADHD but still had some minor self control and social skills issues and told me the best thing to do would be to change is diagnosis from ADHD to Aspergers Autisim. He explained that this would be much better for Nick as this label was not as limiting or as negative.
Keep in mind, Nick was NEVER tested for Aspergers, the doctor just changed it in his medical records.
After Nick graduated from high school, he went off all his ADHD meds, got a job, made friends and even at one point moved out and lived with a friend/co-worker. He waited until he was off all meds for a year before he signed up for the Navy, just to be sure there would be no questions about his meds or how he was dealing being off of them.
Honestly, he did so much better once they were out of his system. I think he outgrew the ADHD when he was 14 or 15 but his behavior stayed the same because the meds for ADHD are stimulants and Nick was basically high until he stopped taking the meds, in my opinion.
But anyway a Navy doctor found the Aspergers in Nick's post Navy medical records and Nick was tested and told if he passed this test they would get him a waiver, he passed but there is no waiver!
He has met with a JAG lawyer and is doing everything in his limited power to stay in the Navy. This is such a horrible feeling, knowing that I allowed the doctor to change his diagnosis without any testing of any kind, and now Nick's dream may be taken from him.
I don't know what I can do to help him...
Does anyone have any advice or ideas as to what I can do since in reality this was my mistake.....
Views: 727
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Navy Aunt (AF Wife) on
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Don't blame yourself--it's not your fault-- you didn't know how this would all play out back then. I think that it will work out for several reasons. First, your son was never tested when the diagnosis changed. Second, the fact that your son waited for a year off meds to enlist shows good faith. Third, this is something I would think they would have caught during MEPS. Did they ask him about the ADHD during any of his processing? Sounds like he didn't try to withhold info since it was in his previous records. Fourth, they did a current test and he passed. How was Nick doing in BC? Your advice from Arwen and foreverMom sounds good. Try and seek help from Nick's diagnosing dr. I am sorry that you are going through this right now, but please don't beat yourself up over it. If a doctor told me the same thing, I probably would have done the same thing. Please let us know how you and Nick are doing. Fingers crossed for it to all work out!!!!
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Soo very true....wish people would understand this.....
Its tough when things like this derail a kid's dreams, but the US Navy is not affiliated with the Make A Wish Foundation.
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Permalink Reply by nicksmom on
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Wow, I can't thank everyone enough for their input and thoughts. I absolutely agree that the Navy nor any other branch of the military is affiliated with the Make a Wish Foundation. I guess I need to explain better that Nick was diagnosed with ADHD and other behavioral issues when he was 4 years old by a military doctor when we were stationed in Germany. My husband is in the Army. When his diagnosis was changed, it was by another military doctor that has since gotten out of the Army and moved from the area. He only changed Nick's diagnosis after a brief conversation with me. Nick was 15 or 16 years old when he changed it. I was very unfamiliar with Aspergers and he reassured me numerous times that this was a better "label" for Nick. That basically aspergers was just an umberella diagnosis and that Nick would fair better with this label.
Nick has been on numerous meds for his ADHD and was kept on them after the "new diagnosis". He was NEVER tested, examined or anything else for aspergers. The new diagnosis came after I agreed with what the doctor explained to me. I will accept total and complete responsibilty for my stupidity in allowing that to happen, I never should have agreed without knowing full well what aspergers actually is.
I have a nephew that is autistic and I have a friend who's daughter has aspergers and it's very clear to me that Nick does not have Aspergers Autisim.
Really, if I could get the make a wish foundation involved, I would wish I never let the doctor change his diagnosis.
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Was your son put into Ship 5? Has he called you saying he is being seperated? If that is the case there is a group on here called Ship 5, that has people who have gone through things simalar to what you are going though. There also is (or was) a staff memeber from RTC's seperation who assist answering questions (with out giving out personnel informaiton) who are going though this process.
First off your son needs to sign legal and HIPPA paper work before anyone at RTC will be able to assist you with answering any of your questions. Also your son needs to be the one to fit this and ask for waiver's if he gives up, than the fight will be over before it starts. I am not saying your son is one to give up, but finding all this out is hard and very stressful.
Below is a hyperlink to Ship 5.
http://www.navyformoms.com/group/ship17moms?groupUrl=ship17moms&...
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