Getting Married During or After A School

[SMdarling]

Hi, I'm new to this forum. My fiance is in A school at Fort Meade for the MC rate at the moment and everything I've read on here all the people he has talked to say that getting married during A school is the smartest choice. However I originally told my parents we were getting married when he finished in the winter. They're not happy that we are getting married and say that if we move the date up they won't support it. I just want to know- does it really make a difference getting married in A school? He says his chief told him that if he got married before he got his orders he'd be more likely to get stationed in the continental US on shore duty. He said they would give him a better pick. Has anyone heard of this before? Is this true because I was somewhat under the impression that the military doesn't really care too much and will send him wherever they want.

[Anti M]

They will send him where they want.  However, if you marry before he gets his orders, they will issue orders for a married sailor, not a single one.  More likely the continental US, but no, not shore duty, and not a better pick.  He could still go overseas, but they try not to do that if there are any single sailors who can go do the same job.  Also, the spouse will be eligible for a paid move by the Navy to the new duty station (if in CONUS), will be pulling BAH from the day they were married, plus all the other benefits such as health insurance.  A married sailor would receive Dislocation Allowance, and possible house hunting leave (non-chargeable time to look for an apartment if the command can spare them).  A married sailor can get on the housing wait list as soon as they get orders.  This is critical for big ports such as San Deigo, can save you months in waiting.  

http://www.navytimes.com/benefits/housing/military_moving_allowances/

http://www.militaryconnection.com/2012-pay-charts/2012-pay-charts.asp

[Arwen]

Everything that Anti M said, plus the insanity of trying to schedule a wedding around leave. The Navy does NOT guarantee leave for sailors to be home on a certain date. It's entirely possible that he could take longer in school than expected, or shorter, or be denied leave entirely if he needs to meet his ship somewhere. I have known a number of people who have scheduled a wedding, had guests confirmed, deposits paid - only to have the sailor's leave canceled.

There is also a common practice of doing a "legal" wedding - a quick "justice of the peace" ceremony at a courthouse - just to get the paperwork in early. It can be done over a weekend at the sailor's school in jeans and t-shirts, and often the sailor and his/her fiancée don't even tell their families about it. The less formal and romantic it feels, in this case, the better. It's business - all about the paperwork.

Then they have the social family wedding on the family's preferred, scheduled date. You can even get a new wedding certificate in your home state, no one except the Navy ever needs to know that the first wedding happened.

So even if you do the family wedding later, you can still immediately go with him to his new duty station.

Also, as Anti M said, being married doesn't guarantee that your sailor won't be sent overseas, but it does reduce the chances. The Navy, given the choice, would really rather not pay the extra $$$ that is spent to support "geographical bachelors" and their families.