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Help! Daughter has cold feet!
Hi fellow Navy Moms, I desperately need some help! I apologize right now for the long post. I want to put out all the info, so that I can hopefully get to some real and accurate answers! :)
My daughter has been in DEP for 4 months, is scheduled to head out to basic very soon. She came to me 2 days ago full of dread and no longer feels this is the path for her. While I am disappointed and feel it's a mistake, she knows I support her fully 100%. I want her to make an informed decision tho. We went back to the recruiter and of course it's in their best interests to keep her in and on track. I'd like to think they're looking out for her best interests, but I know they have their duties. They did of course lay on the guilt (i.e. we've already invested $7000 into you), they lathered the "we think so highly of you that not only would the Navy be good for you but you would be so good for the Navy" and "you'll get in there and realize how great this is" and "you can't believe the benefits, they're unparalleled". Don't get me wrong...I already think my daughter is kick-ass, not only in civilian life but would be in the military as well. She did end up re-committing to go to boot camp and give it her 100%. They assured her that if after the first week she was completely miserable and sure that she doesn't want this, she could exercise her option for ELS, by reason of failure to adapt, with no consequences. Of course she'd no longer be eligible for any benefits, etc., but that after processing, she'd be sent home. After discussing with her further today, she still is not wanting to go, but will honor her word as long as it is true and accurate that she can come home if she gets there and feels its not for her. Her friend who has several active military friends, is telling her that the recruiter is lying to her, that there is no way for her to leave without serious consequences, if at all. I've been frantically researching online for official documentation on this matter. There are a lot of opposing answers, as well as some old information. I have found MILPERSMAN 1910-154 AND MILPERSMAN 1910-308 on the public.navy.mil website that state that ELS can be initiated while a member is within 180 days of active duty. My research on active duty shows a few conflicting answers, but mainly that Navy's active duty begins on day 1 of boot camp if the sailor has enlisted for active duty afterwards.
My biggest frustration is that this bomb was dropped very late in the game. But it is what it is, and I am trying my best to get to some answers. Can any of you share any personal experience and accurate/official information on this? If she just doesn't want to do this, she needs to speak up and take care of business and not go. But not at the cost of listening to inaccurate information from well-meaning friends.
Thanks Moms!
Views: 348
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by judy r on
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http://military-law.lawyers.com/military-law-basics/retracting-an-e... I found this and think it answers your questions. 30 yrs ago my daughter with drew from dep they told her she would be shown as dishonorable discharge in researching for a new position it is not listed at all. If you are going to withdraw now is the time to do it before the 2nd oath.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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If she is not 100%, she should not ship. I don't know a lot about ELS, but I do know those being processed to go back for failure to adapt can sit in holding for weeks, and are bussed home, not flown. It is a special kind of hell. It may be true, but it is neither simple, nor easy.
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Good morning, I agree with supporting you daughters decision. Because if you push her to go and she feels this way . she'll either go and finish or go and still decide against it. My daughter is in bootcamp now and tells the horror story of the young ladies that was pushed into going and now they are waiting to leave. She said they have to go through the physic Dr and then wait on hold for upto 3 weeks sometime. She said they told them some time the people that they supposed to graduate with are just about done sometime before they actually get to leave. So tell her before that second oath, make her decision. Good luck. I told my daughter college right out if high school isn't the best for all people and neither is the military. May be she can change her starting date. Good luck
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