When I joined the Navy 20-some years ago, my mom wasn't thrilled, but was at least somewhat supportive.Now that my sons are joining (older son is in DEP and younger son is applying for NROTC), she's freaked out. She has called, texted and emailed her displeasure. My older son needed some paperwork at MEPS that he left at her house (he lived with her 300 miles from our home for a year while he attended junior college classes) and she refused to get it for him unless he promised to not take a job that might require that he kill someone. (I didn't bring up the fact that it might happen in ANY job, in self-defense.)
My mom watched my brother's best friend self-destruct while in the Navy a few years ago. Much of it was his own fault, not paying attention to what he needed to do, and part was the Navy screwing up his paperwork so that he was in holding for 6 months while the Navy worked the problem out. By the time the Navy got it together, he had turned into an alcoholic, had a horrible attitude and was separated with an other-than-honorable discharge. She decided it was all the Navy's fault.
I think there is also the factor that there is a war with two active fronts (or is it two wars?) going on right now, when I was in we had Glasnost - the end of the Cold War.
So my mom is freaked out, if I even mention my son's activities in DEP, or his joining, she freaks out. When I mentioned that my younger son was applying for NROTC she freaked again and hung up on me with "You KNOW how much I hate the military." Her health is not good, which probably has a lot to do with her emotional stability regarding this issue. As I said, she didn't used to be like this. She is hurting herself AND my sons at this point. The boys know about her, ahem, quirks, but this upsets everyone.
Has anyone dealt with this kind of situation? How do you balance "grandma's love" with "grandma is freaked out"?