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Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)

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I'm getting the ever so familiar guilt trip because my son doesn't have a car.  He's in A School in CT.  I just can't afford it right now and don't understand why he feels it's so important to have a car.  I thought he was over thinking mom and dad were made of money, but that does not appear to be the case.  Geez, he's going to be on a sub in a year, and that car won't help him then.  As for now, he's making me feel guilty (as sons do).  He's got a brand new laptop, an IPod, a cell phone.  He needs to be studying the rest of the time.  Seems to be spending a lot of time at the pubs.  I don't like it and I'm a little worried.  I know he's relishing his newfound freedom and independence, but I can only do what I can do.  I thought his head was in a better place right now, and I still think it is.  But why are we having this conversation now?  Hmmmm.

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There is absolutely NO WAY I would buy him a car for several reasons. (1) He is an adult now - you have done your job - and if he is in the Navy, probably did a fine job. (2) He does not need a car while in A school - too much studying needs to be done (this is from a teacher). (3) You would be enabling him to spend even MORE time in pubs - talk about a guilt trip if something happened to him to or from there. (4) Also, imagine the guilt trip if he flunks A school and . . . ???? Who knows what happens then!! (5) He is going to be on a sub soon!

OK - my story - my son does have his truck at his home port. He did buy it himself (right before he joined). He pays the entire note, insurance and gas for the truck (although, I did co-sign for him to get it). He is deployed now and having to pay to store it, insure it (but we take him off as a driver), and the note. Yes, it will be a nice truck with few miles on it when he gets home - but is it worth it? Also, he says that he gets tired of people asking him for rides to places that he does not want to go. He is a real loner.
Thank you, Brenda Sue. I needed to hear that.
Thank you, Tracey.
If he wants a car, he can buy it himself. He has about $1000 in spending money monthly. He can afford his own car payments and insurance. My husband bought a VW Rabbit while in Nuke/Sub school (before we met).
We all have to learn to say NO and not feel guilty about it. Tell him if he feels he needs a car (he doesn't really of course) then he can buy it himself. It's time for the "time to grow up" conversation. DO NOT feel guilty about this!!!
Diane - don't let him make you feel guilty. As already said - if he really feels he needs a car - he needs to buy one on his own. Let him go talk to Navy Federal Credit Union about a loan. He may decide it is not as important as he thinks. My son was without a car for 18 months and did fine. He brought a used SUV when home after prototype and before his first assignment. His dad did go with him and look at several, but he found the one he ultimately bought himself on Craig's list. He handled all the financing and insurance (USAA) himself. It will be a good life lesson for him - money does not grow on trees. Good luck!!
we took are sons old car to him while he was in groton but before he left groton he bought a different car navy credit union loaned him the money! we didn't have to sign anything. they will also ship his car to where he is stationed!
my sons car was shipped to hawaii!
Hawaii is a special case, it is the US, not technically overseas. "CONUS" is "continental united states". Hence, not Hawaii. Dad had our car shipped there back in the 60s when he was stationed at Barber's Point!!! The battery was dead and the ashtray full of butts, someone was using it as a break room on the ship it came over on. As for shipping cars overseas, places such as Japan, it rarely is approved. The Japanese are very strict in engine size and emissions, and parking is a real headache. You don't actually need a car in Japan; hubby and I did without for nine years. He had a Harley, which was far more sensible.

Buy a beater car for A school, sell it later.
Well, ours doesn't have a car, but he doesn't have a driver's license either. He is also at A school, but at Great Lakes.
my husband has a car but we bought it ourselves..
when my son went to a school he came home on a break and said he needed a car. the a school is so big it makes it easier to get around base. so we went to a dealer here in ny and we cosigned for him to get a descent car. he pays for his insurance and car payment. i am glad he has the car. he just graduated a school and is now home on break. he and 2 other friends drove up from sc. and the best part is that they are all driving back down so my son is not driving alone. at the end my son was allowed to go off base and it just gave him extra freedom that he deserves. i figure if he is old enough to be in the navy he is old enough to hopefully make the right decisions. he goes to another school for 6 months and then yet another school after that. 6 months is in sc again and then after that it is either in ny or ct so he can come home on the weekends. he graduated with a 3.40.

jackie

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