I'm concerned--my daughter just joined the DEP program

[brendamax]

I'm pretty confused. My daughter just came back this pm from the MEPS where she had joined the DEP program. (Hope my acronyms are correct!) I have a few concerns about what she related to us when she came back. 1--She had agreed to join just prior to high school graduation last week. She was told by her recruiter that she would be allowed to join as a high school senior this week and not as a post graduate--this would give her some "priority" in selecting a job? That's what we were told. She was told today she could not join as a high school senior. Another girl from her highschool class was allowed to sign as a highschool senior today. 2--She was not given a list of jobs to choose from; she was basically asked questions and was told that a certain job (sonar tech) would fit(she agreed). She states she did not get to pick from any other jobs and states was not even given the choice between even a couple of jobs.  3--We were told several times by the recruiter that she would be allowed to go to college for one year before having to report to boot camp. She states she has to leave this August. There will be no college attendance prior to leaving.

Does it seem I could have mis-understood what we were told? We asked very specific repeated questions that also referenced the above issues in our meeting last week with the recruiter. I don't usually forget conversations because for the past 25 years, I have to basically restate conversations almost verbatim as part of my healthcare profession. While we wait to meet again with the recruiter, I would love any type of feedback. Is there a way to question what actually went on in the MEPS office without looking like a crazy Mom? Is there a way to "change jobs" since she wanted to be a Corpsman(I think this is the "job" for those wanting to go into the healthcare area)?  I don't mind her going into the Navy; she states she may be happy with her pick of sonar tech, but I am concerned there may very well have been some type of "railroading" because of the glaring inconsistencies. Thanks everyone for "listening"!

[brendamax]

Thanks for the reply. Her score was in the 90's; we were told she could do anything short of the nuclear school. I understand and have always understood that SHE would chose/has chosen to join, etc. She has already made an appointment to see the recruiter next Tuesday. She states she was not given any list of "jobs" or was told what was open; she answered questions about her likes/dislikes and was told sonar tech would fit. The recruiter had told us repeatedly last week he would be "at her side" until she found something she liked and to not let the MEPS personel talk her into anything she didn't want to do. He was not there with her; he was in another room; his only involvement was to say how he was in something similar and that she would like it.
As far as allowing her time to go to college, do some of them have to ship out early? This was never explained as a possibility to my daughter or me; we were told repeatedly that she would be allowed to go to college for one to two semesters. Not almost guarantee, not maybe, not possibly, but WILL be allowed to do so. Clear and precise communication is very important in life-changing decisions like this; I do this every day w/families in stressful situations. If her recruiter is not as helpful now after she has signed up, is there someone else she can ask? Thanks again.

[brendamax]

Thanks for the response. It helps a lot to know what options she has.

[Pomino (ship10 div250 PIR 7-23)]

Our family has been friends with a career Navy man, a chief. He told us recruiter will say and do anything, and that you can never rely on them, even though some are better than others. Never commit to anything unless it is in writing. Personally, I do not think there is any shame in deciding that if you couldn't get the job you wanted, to back out once you realize you were pushed into something. I'm sorry, but many of these recruiters take advantage of these young people who do not realize that they have options. Recruiters (and detailers) have billets to fill. And they WILL take advantage of young people by putting them into the slots THEY (the recruiters) are told need filling.

Your daughter does not owe the recruiter anything -- nothing he is doing is for the purpose of going out of his/her way to help your daughter or do her a favor -- it is all, quite simply, his JOB. Your daughter owes it to herself to get the best job for her. If she scored as high as you say, she should have better pickings, and she can also be put on a wait list for corpsman, even if the job is getting full. I am not an expert in this, certainly, but based upon many, many conversations with both that Navy Chief friend of the family and my brother, (who is career Navy and will retire this fall) this is how things often happen in the service: A kid tries to enlist wanting one job, but they come out with another. All because of "what the recruiter said".

I think you are correct to question what happened with your daughter and worry that she was led down a primrose path that was not followed through upon by her recruiters.

[brendamax]

Thanks so much. That's what I was wondering; I figured there was some type of push from the "other end" to fill jobs/rates. We ended up with a visit from the senior recruiter and lots of apologies. The younger recruiter we first met was pretty misleading and he was supposedly instructed on how to better communicate. The main thing we were wanting for our daughter was a choice as she was promised. She will be allowed to do a rolling DAR, and so far has ended up staying with what had been chosen for her. She still will supposedly have the option to change if desired. As long as she is happy w/her choice, I will be satisfied.

[Trisha-Ashleys-mom]

My daughter wanted HM (Corpsman) Her recruiter was at MEPS with her and talked to the classifier and got her the job she wanted. He was awesome. He also came out of the room to keep me aprised of what was going on. Also, once she was through with the interviews, I was able to sit down with her as the classifier was offering her the job. I thanked both of them for doing what they did for her. She is doing amazing in her field now. Working at the NNMC in Bethesda.

[Arwen]

Regarding choices, they will offer whatever choices there are available, and that she is qualified for.

Right now jobs are few and far between. When my son joined last year there was only one job that showed up all day. There were a lot of guys there waiting, one had been back to MEPS four times. The job showed up on the computer at the time my son was sitting with the detailer (the person who helps recruits choose their job), and he got it. Everyone else went home without any job.

If two jobs show up that your daughter is qualified for, she would have been given the choice between them. But she would not have had a chance to take her time in making the decision, otherwise they would be taken by other recruits also waiting for an opening.

My son wanted to be a Seabee. Instead he got IT (computers and radio), because that was all there was, and it is an 8 hour drive from here to MEPS. He didn't have the luxury of going back daily to see if a Seabee job showed up. He took what they had. It turned out that IT didn't work out for him, now he's trying for Seabee again.

Long ago and far away I was given about five choices, and many different possible dates to leave. But that was during a different era, when the Navy was begging for recruits. But times have changed. Now the Navy has more people who want to join than it has jobs to offer. So your daughter is competing against thousands of other prospective recruits who also scored high. And all of them just want to get something - anything. It's a situation where beggars can't be choosers. Unless it sounds like a bad match, something she would hate or be bad at, taking the sonar job was the right choice.

As for the request for a different job/ship date, it can be done. My son's was changed twice while he was in DEP. He ended up leaving more than four months before his original date.

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

here are some links to groups that will help. Just click on the http address


http://www.navyformoms.com/group/deppersinbutnotyet read some of the discussions for good info


http://www.navyformoms.com/group/leavinforbootcampinaugust here you'll connect with N4M's who have rcts leaving in August


Go to YouTube and search Navy boot camp, graduation, BattleStations 21(CNN does it), the navy way to fold and iron.

[2 navy boys]

I have 2 enlisted sons. The first went in last January after enlisting as a high school senior. He was given a few choices as to what his job would be. He's not happy with the one he chose but plans on retaking the ASVAB in a few months. He's about to finish A-school and hasnt started his job yet so he may like his job after all. Son number 2 is 17 and has taken the ASVAB and has also enlisted as a high school senior. He scored much higher than his brother and was offered a job as OS (operations specialist). He'll be heading to bc next July, or right after graduation. He wasn't given any options at all but his recruiter has promised to put in paper work to change is rate to master at arms which is what he wanted. If a job opens up he could get it if not then he'll go in as OS. We were fortunate that our recruiters didn't just tell my boys what they wanted to hear. Everything has happened pretty much as they said it would.