Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[phylis]

Di &rocky and lupner88...My son graduated BC in early Jan and is now in Pensacola for A school. He discussed the military for a few years and was on felayed entry for 7 months, waiting for BC. I still was a sobbing basket case on his swearing in/leaving day AND I slept with his pillow and would just sit & cry in his room. BC was much harder for me than it was for him...lol! I am not the stay at home, PTA, betty crocker type either and generally look forward to the departure of all the kids and husband & I will have the house to ourself. That being said, his leaving for BC was extremely difficult and I think it had alot to do with the inability to communicate with him, the lack of knowledge as to what was happening with him and not being able to be there to help him if needed. Now that he is on Pensacola and can txt whenever and I can send him stuff, it has become much easier! I say all this because I don't think any mom (or whomever) should be sorry for the grieving process that we go through when our kid/loved one leaves for the military. As a mother, I think it is hard to know an entity like the military now has complete control over your child and you are helpless to do anything for them. My point is...the pillow huggers/cryers are perfectly fine and stand up proud of your kid for their decision (even as you secretly hope they will just come home)!

[bluemom]

I'm sure everyone on this list feels like they don't fit in at one time or another.  :-)  Different things trigger a crying response for different people.  My response to my son leaving was more anger than sadness.  Not anger at him or any person...just angry at our whole social structure and economy.  I felt like a lone wolf, too.  No judgments!  I'm guessing a lot of people feel like you do but don't post it.  Thanks for being your authentic self.  Take care,

Bluemom 

[29junkie]

At times I wish I could & should be more emotional about missing my kiddo. Its there, but after dealing with hubby in an 18 month deployment to Iraq, I think my perspective is a bit different. I think the world would be a bit different if more kids went into the military - kinda old school. Though not perfect for everyone, I think it's good for most.

Appreciate everyone's wonderful support.

[Navy mom 49]

I think you are doing fine.. everyone is different. I am better as time goes on and prouder everyday. You have had a lot to deal with your husband in Iraq!

[Concernedad]

You sound like my wife. We raised them, now it's time for them to go on with their lives. Everyone here has their own reason for being here. Some look for advice. Some for information. Some for moral support. you don't need to fit into all categories. Hopefully, you'll get what you want from this site, then you'll stick around to do the same for others later.

[29junkie]

The best support so far has been peoples understanding. This is a fabulous site & filled with great people. I'm sure I'll be out here quite a bit :)

[Mother of 4]

I understand-My mom was pretty upset with my son's decision, but I think it is a positive to furthering himself in life.Thanks for you input! I sent you a friends request also.

[29junkie]

My mom wasn't too thrilled either. I think it's a wonderful thing.

Thanks for the add :)  Keep in touch & let me know how your journey goes ~

[⚓ Terri ~ Nathan's Mom ⚓]

Hi there, I cried the day my son left and a little the day after but Im good now...I think about him often but I know he is coming back and I will see him in April ! You are no heartless .

[29junkie]

Thanks!!! I think of mine all the time - esp when I notice the couch he held down for 4 months is still managing not to float away without him on it, LOL!!!

[MDESFRED]

This comment made me giggle.  That is a random thought that I would have had. 

I  wish I wasn't a person that wears my emotions so visibly. :-/  I can watch the last few seconds of a commercial and be in tears.  Blah, blah, blah everyone including my husband laughs at me.

I have warned my daughter that I will cry when she leaves months from now.  Probably will tear up with the phone calls and when I walk past the gummy life savers.  I guess it will be more for me than for her.  I am excited for her, I just don't like not knowing  (Christmas kills be too.) and even if I prepare for it, it will be an abrupt and sudden change.

I have also warned her that when she turns her phone on she will probably have random text messages from when I texted something before I remember not to. But I don't think I am going to have problems washing the KIB clothes or try to cuddle up to something  that reminds me of her.

And I have warned her if she doesn't pick up her room before she leaves a lot of it is going to be donated. . . and that isn't an empty threat!

Congrats on getting the couch back and I am sure he will do great!

[29junkie]

I think part of me does with I could just drop in a pile & let it all go....but I'm just so dang excited for him & my couch I can't help but be smiling :)

I know the first actual call will kill me & graduation I will be a mess, but hey...I'm still a mom!