Thinking about joining the Navy... Not sure how to tell my mom.

[alexc123]

I'm 20 and thinking about joining the Navy. I have thought about this for over a year. I am other oldest daughter and have four younger brothers. Last year, when my mom found out I was even considering she called it a cop-out and yelled at me like I was in trouble or something. My parents are divorced, and she threatened me saying she was going to call my dad and what not. Well, that plan backfired and I'm pretty sure my dad wasn't opposed to me joining. i know there are a lot of moms on here and I was wondering if it was that hard to take for everyone or if anyone can give me advice on how to approach the situation. 

[ebigirl]

alexc, I've been thinking about you and wondering if you have made a decision yet. If so, have you told your parents and how did that go? In the end you have to do what you have to do to make YOUR dreams come true. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's YOUR life and you need to be at peace with whatever decision you make. Trust me, you want to love what your doing professionally or you will be miserable in life. If the Navy is truly what you want, trust your gut and go for it. Your parents and family members will come around in due time.
Good luck and let us know what your decision is. I'm sure you will do an excellent job in whatever you decide to do!! :)

[Anthy]

I understand your situation. im 22, am the oldest of 3 kids& my parents are going thru a separation. my parents kicked me out last Nov (before Thanksgiving, how sweet) because i couldnt afford "rent" for my room for 2 months (even though i went to 2 colleges& worked 2 jobs and recovering from H1N1). I had to drop out of school since i missed all my midterms and during the winter had couch surfed (not always rent free) to 4 different places while still managing to keep a full time job& not having anyone at work know my situation. I felt like I lost everything i worked for, solo, and felt like i had no family. especially tough during the holidays.

And that prompted my choice to go Navy, something i thought about for 3 almost 4 years, but stayed to "help out" since my siblings are middle/elemtary school age & that my mother didnt approve of because it "didnt seem like it was for me". i figured that my siblings would need someone to truely look up to, and that my parents showed just how selfish they were, i would want to be in the position to help them thru college or whatever they will want to do like my parents were unwilling to help me. not to mention, i had the drive to do whatever i had to to make my dreams come true.

once i told them 3 months ago, my mom simply asked 2 quick questions and has never brought it up since. my father hasnt reached back out to me, whatsoever.

so i guess my point is, you have to think about your future. 20 year olds are given these next 10-15yrs to be completly focused on investing in ourselves; determining whats gonna be our quality and ease of life for the rest of our lives, since at 30-35yr we start thinking of families, carrers, stability, etc. And though its sad, but true, parents like mine know that if they dangle us along& manipulate our emotions during these years, it will always and forever be hard if not impossible to move on& live our dreams the way we have set in our hearts. i regret the 3 years i spent at home "being supportive" to them (funny they werent willing to be supportive to me when i worked&paid ALL my own bills, including buying my own car, while going to school and just needed a safe place to sleep) when i could be done my first enlistment by now& well on my way to the other things in my life i wish to pursue. they wont get that chance again =).

so i CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH to do what you must do. for you. my parents famous line was "dont treat us ____ way because you will always need your parents" when in fact, a parent who unconditionally invest in their child would want be focused on their child suceeding & not need them asap, since children tend to out live their parents. duh. lol.

so go for it, live your dreams. because no matter how hard it gets, its never worse than going nowhere.

[alexc123]

Hey everyone, you have all been a tremendous help and I cannot thank you enough. I ended up not getting into the 4-year school I recently applied to (to get out of the house, basically), but it has actually come as a blessing in disguise. My mom brought up the Navy to me last night and almost seemed like she was trying to convince me it was a good idea. She's on board know and the little bit of discussion we had last night showed her how much I have actually been researching and looking into it. I plan on finishing out my Associate's degree (as I only have until next fall), and speaking with a recruiter in the summer. Thank you all for your support I cannot wait until I'm done with school and can get started!

[ebigirl]

Good for you! I'm proud of you and the research you have done on joining the Navy. You will NOT be disappointed in the choice YOU have made. Good luck to you in the future and remember to always listen to your gut, no matter what!

[Arwen]

I agree with Lady Hamilton, don't wait until next summer. It can take months just to get a job in the Navy, then once you have a job, it can take up to another year before you can actually go to boot camp. The Navy is really full now, and there is a long waiting list to get in. Start now.

My younger son is doing the same. He started the process six months ago, before he graduated from high school. He still doesn't have a job or ship date, so he's signing up to go to college. We figure he can get in at least two semesters before he can finally go to boot camp, maybe three.

[jenj]

just be honest and try to speak with her again. Try to explain why you want to join and give her a chance to voice her opinion too. If you are serious, she will have to respect your decision, because it really is your decision and you'll be the one living with it. Best of luck to you,

Mom, too

[ctownnavymom_Groton_SECF]

Alexc,

Well you can take the approach my son took...he got me in the car...he was driving and said, "Mom, I have to tell you something." Since I was his passenger I couldn't yell or distract him! haha! Actually, at this point I am soooooo very proud of him and I truly know, now, that it is the best decision he ever made. However, I wasn't happy at first. You have to realize that even moms are human and sometimes our fears get the best of us! I come from a long line of military men...and I am very proud of that, But the thought of sending my son, my baby, into harms way terrified me. It was a long road to get me to the acceptance part and we traveled it together...sometimes that road wasn't very pleasant! We both said things that we regretted during the enlisting and initial DEP process. But thanks to the good Lord, I was able to see that this truly was the right decision for him.

I began to see him grow even in the DEP program! I can not state enough how proud I am to be the mother of a sailor...and I tell everyone I meet that I am! My son and I have the best relationship we have ever had!

Sweetie, be patient...understand that some of her anger might truly be fear. There is truly no greater fear for a mom than the thought of losing her baby! (regardless of age!) Do your best to be your best and she will see, like I did, what an amazing opportunity this can be.

Good luck and God Bless!