Unprepared

[mum Z]

16hrs since I received that scripted phone call from my son. Unaware of the "scripted" part and or length of phone call (48 sec). I could hear stress in his voice. Also unaware of being able to have accompanied him to his recruiter meetings for preparation on what to expect after final swear in. Maybe he thought I wouldn't have been as supportive had I attended. Definitely unprepared for this journey. Never been away from my three children. My heart feels heavy. Experiencing detachment with my children becoming adults and leaving NEST that's been built with a strong foundation with walls insulated with ADT security. Now not even being able to communicate with my middle child and only son. I feel as if I'm grieving or had a loss. Emotions from PROUD, SAD, UNCERTAIN, EXCITED for his journey, and LONGING to hear him say "I'm going fishing". Never thought it would be so hard to fold his clothes, walk past his door, pick up his shoes, or not hear his car crank. Wondering if there are other navy moms who have experienced these feelings? Today only cried once and here I am writing without tissues thanks to the support from another navy mom (whose ex navy chief).  

[Bryan'smadre]

It will be a few weeks before you receive any mail from him personally. When you receive that letter, I pray you find peace knowing he is doing well!  I felt the way you are when my son left for boot camp.

I believe it will get better!!  I work at a grocery store in a small community and everyone knows my son is in boot camp.  When he just left, a lot of people asked how he was doing and I said, "I don't know for sure."  and I just started crying.  I'm doing better when someone asks about him, because I know he's doing ok!! 

Everyone has to get a job! That's the rules. My son is now a mail carrier!!  I don't know how he likes it, but he gets to make everyone's day when mail call comes!!  :) 

Write your son letters and send cards! That, I believe is the best way to handle your feelings!  It's helped me for sure.  My son requested that I write every day, so since then, I've either sent a card or a short letter to tell him what is going on at home while he is away.  Emphasize how proud of him you are and that you love him!  That is the best thing, in my opinion, that our children need is reassurance that everything will be fine!! 

I hope this helps!!  If you need someone to talk to, we are here for you!!!  Love and hugs!!

[Nora-Ship 13 Div 257]

Thank you I went and brought him a bible for sailors even though he told me he didn't need one and I am gonna give it to him at graduation. I guess this is normal feels. I work at the local hospital and he did to; so it is very hard for me. Everyday someone ask how he is doing and all i do is bust into tears. The hospital even put a picture of him and me with his address so other people can write him and said very thoughtful words and it made me cry, When i go past his room or finish hanging his clothes up i loose it. I write him everyday and I always tell him the cross fit exercise we did that day: that was something me and him did everyday and he told me not to quit but this week has been hard walking in there and not crying but everyone there is awsome they brought a book for me called Psalm 9'1 miltary edition and when i open it up they wrote a thing in it and i cried but i keep telling myself it will get better i have faith. The community is very proud of him and so i am.

Thank you so much, love and hugs!!

[Vickie360]

I am right there with you - in the crying part! My son isn't even gone yet and I spent 3 days crying and unable to even talk about it. I keep telling myself it is like college only further away (he is also my middle child). I was thinking the same thing about feeling like it is such a loss! I called several teacher friends of mine. One has a son that just finished his time and she assured me that "it grew him up" into a very responsible young man. I am holding onto those words!! I'm so glad I am not the only one feeling like my heart is being ripped out!

[Nora-Ship 13 Div 257]

That's how I was also before left and I think it would get easier. Well I was wrong. Yes everyone keeps telling me when he comes back he really not be my baby he will be a responsible man. Good luck and we're all here either going through it me or has gone through it.

[HeatherT(09/003)]

So much left me unprepared for this journey. Cried a lot... still crying 2 years later as I have only seen him 3 weeks and 2 days during this journey from the day he left. Now he is on his way home permanently. He was not prepared for this either and it has taken such an extreme toll on him. Prayers with each of you as you go through this journey.

[grandmalyons]

It has been almost 9 months since my boy left for Great Lakes.  At first it was difficult, but I was able to rest in the knowledge that this is what he wanted.  He was actually able to make quite a few phone calls home during bootcamp.  He finishes A school next week and I will be spending a few days in Charleston to help celebrate this accomplishment.  He is a lot more self-disciplined and responsible now.  He confidence level is through the roof.  College would not have been able to do that for him.  (he also rewards himself every month with a new Transformer)

My prized possession is a t-shirt and hat set he gave me for Mother's Day.. They say "Navy Issued Mom".  I was born to be the Proud Mom of a sailor in the US Navy.  The extraordinary men and women of our Armed Services have mothers who are just as extraordinary.  They could not otherwise be who they are and do what they do without your love and dedication ladies! By the way,  I will be 49 in August and my mother still calls me "baby."  I'll bet your own moms and dads do too! :)

[Myra...Hannah's Mom]

Mum Z, I can relate. My daughter shipped out June 25th, this is day 6 and I am so lost with out her.  I look at my phone waiting for a snapchat, or a text asking whats for dinner. Like you my call was 48 secs too and it came at about 10pm, her voice sounded full of stress just as your sons.  I have been away from my daughter (my youngest) before, but it is so different when you know you can pick up the phone and talk to him/her at anytime.  I look everyday in the mail hoping the Letter gets here so I can send the letters I have been writing to her, and I have mixed feelings about getting "The Box", I have spent a lot of time sitting in her room cleaning and writing her just so I can smell her scent.  I have not yet had a day where I haven't cried, but I do mange to make it to work with my makeup on now. My daughter wrote me several little notes and left them with my Husband to give to me at various times.  In her notes she tells me to be strong, and know she is thinking of me, misses me.  One note touched my heart when she said "Mom I am so lucky I have had such an strong amazing woman to prepare me for this journey, stay strong and keep your chin up.  You got this, WE GOT THIS!!!"

As much as it hurts we have to think of what they are doing, to better themselves as adults. The education, and adventures that await them. 

So from one mom to another...STAY STRONG!

[Sailors mom]

Mum z.

You post so reminded me of how I felt the day my son left for boot camp 3 1/2 years ago he left on Valentines Day and I remember thinking this is suppose to be a day of happiness and all I felt was pure saddness and I also couldn't go into his room or even fold his clothes for weeks and you are right it was like a grieving process and I felt like I was the only one who felt that way because talking to my friends and family that have never had the experience didn't fully understand don't get me wrong they were supportive and loving but until I found Navy for Moms and I started to read all the post from other parents and realized I wasn't alone. It was like a roller coaster ride for the first 9 weeks I kept my phone with me every minute of the day and checked the mail box every day. I cried more tears during that 9 weeks then I have ever cried my entire life. It was not easy and I even went to talk to my doctor because I felt very sad but I got through it and you will too. Getting the box was very emotional, but I can tell you 3 1/2 years later I have seen my little boy grow into a fine young, mature young man and I am very proud of the choices he has made his life and I know all the times that I thought he wasn't listening he really was paying very close attention. Just remember even though we can't see them everyday through our eyes we can see them and replay ever memory in our hearts and mind. The boot camp days are tough but the young man you will see in the coming weeks will be a WOW for you. GOD BLESS AND many happy days to come.

[lovingmom]

Thanks for your post, I'm feeling so emotional even though my son has not left yet, he has a week to go. i feel like i have to look at him all the time. for I know the up coming weeks will be so hard, but I am so very happy for him because he chose this wonderful career and I want to be very supportive of his choice even though the distance between us is so great.

[MAMA_C]

This comment is almost a year old but I feel the same way now!

[Becca]

I am right there with you.  I missed the first phone call as I was not prepared for it  So much information and emotions that I totally forgot he would be calling.  I have extreme guilt for that.

[Michelle]

Hang in there Mom's! It's going to be tough to get used to but it really does get easier over time. And, you'll be amazed at how much you son/daughter appreciates you in time. I always knew my son loved me but there were a couple years when he was a teen that he didn't like me touching him and PDA was completely out of the question! I went to the airport with him after bootcamp and he slept with his head in my lap with his fellow sailors sitting right there and all the travelers to see! It's now 8 months since he left for bootcamp and just a month ago he was declaring his love and appreciation for me on Facebook! This experience has taught us both so much and I'm learning that he can make it out there on his own if (God forbid) I'm not around someday. And, that's the ultimate goal right? Raise them to appreciate us but not need us. So, be strong Mom's... this is a wonderful thing! And, thank you for your commitment and sacrifice!