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would love to know how the Navy has changed your Sailor
during his last week the recruiters and everyone at MEPS keep telling him that I, the wife comes first, and they keep reminding him and i totally loved that because i always feel that my husband doesn't put me first. we've been through a lot, a lot of tears but a lot of memories as well, but i need to know if he might come back a different man, im hoping a better man.
i dont really want to put down things to bash my husband, he is a good man, but he really needs a lesson on who is at the top of the list.but im just hoping this experience will change him.
wives, mothers, gf, anyone, let me know how it has changed your Sailor. please give me hope for the future.
Views: 282
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Janelle~RsMom on
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This is just my experience with my son who just PIR'd 8/13 and has his entire Navy career in front of him...
My son was your typical lazy (i hate to say that, but so true) teenager. Didn't seem to have much ambition, pretty much kept to himself, rarely let me into his world, a HUGE slob with his car & room & bathroom, didn't really know what direction he wanted to take with his life once he hit the late teenage years and had to start thinking about college, career, life, etc...
Imagine my surprise when he came home one day in May of 2009 and told me he enlisted in the Navy!!! I just about fell over from shock! He hadn't discussed it with us at all, just left one day and did it. During his year in DEP, I started seeing the little changes. All he was focused on was getting as physically fit as possible to prepare for Boot Camp & his training that would follow afterwards. He ran at least 6 miles a day, swam for miles every other day, weight trained, biked, etc... you name it he did it. That's ALL he was focused on. He even dropped his interest in girlfriends and focused exclusively on his Navy career.
When he left for Boot Camp I had no idea what to expect. I figured he'd go away for 8 weeks, and when I saw him at PIR I'd have my child back, but in a uniform. Boy was I ever wrong!!!
What was returned to me from RTC Great Lakes was a responsible, dedicated, focused, disciplined young man who just happened to now be a United States Navy Sailor. He stood a lot taller, never hunching his shoulders like he once did. He had tons of confidence that he never had before because he finally believed in himself and what he was doing in the Navy. He now walked with a total purpose, and confidence in himself I had never seen before. His manners were greatly improved, the first time he answered a waitress "Yes Ma'am" at lunch after PIR I about fell out of my chair. My mother said the shock on my face was priceless... and I promptly asked who was this person sitting across from me? His heart had grown three sizes (to steal a line from the Grinch) since he left home. His little sisters birthday fell on his PIR date. All this boy talked about to me for four weeks of letters & phone calls was how all he wanted on PIR was to go eat Chinese food at PF Changs. We walked out of Liberty Hall, he looked at his little sister without anyone having to remind him it was her birthday and said "Happy Birthday Chloe, where do you want to go eat to celebrate your birthday". I was stunned! All the years before I had to force him to sign a card I bought for him to give to her. He had a little gift for her from the NEX. Completely stunned!
After spending the entire weekend with him, and now being back at home away from him three days I can honestly attest how much different, and for the better, he really is. He texts me everyday giving me little updates on his days, he texted me while we were driving home reminding us to be safe and thanking us for staying those extra two days at Great Lakes just to spend 3 hours with him on Tuesday after he moved to A-school. He thanked me for coming to his PIR! Like I would ever miss it!!! He always ends his phone calls & letters with "I love you Mom". I cannot tell you when the last time he said that to me was, even when I said it to him. The first phone call when we were hanging up and he said "I love you Mom" before I said it to him, I was completely blown away and had my tears of joy running down my face. He values his family and his home so much more now than when he lived here, and knows we always have his back and he'll always have a home here. He was like a little kid with excitement when he told me he would get to come home for Christmas!
They do change! And he will amaze you. My son also had a lot of things that he went through that were very tough growing up - parents divorced, death of his uncle (my brother), moving to different schools... that really effected him, but now he has overcome. I raised him to be a fine young man, but I can honestly say the Navy put all the finishing touches on him.
I wish the best for your husband, and hope when you see him at PIR Weekend you will see the changes and value them, and be grateful to his RDC's and the Navy for cutting him down in RTC and then building him back up. It is amazing!
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Permalink Reply by Melohhdee Div948 PIR10/15/10 on
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what an amazing story, it not only made me tear up but truly gave me more hope for our marriage. all i can think of since he left is that i hope he can finally learn to put me first and not someone else. i cant wait to see this transformation. it will truly be a shock to me, i think for the first time i might actually cry happy tears and not sad ones. thank you for your story, it truly was touching.
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Permalink Reply by memejojo on
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Amen what a true story all so my grandson we risied change so mature hes all ways been a good child but he stands up strate.he was awesome.you will see a good difference.
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Permalink Reply by Jan (Dennis' Mom) on
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Wow, that was just like reading a story about my son and me, except my son has PIR on Oct 8. He joined DEP in his junior year. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Permalink Reply by RenoMom (Ship 03 Div 080) on
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WOW!!! Your response brought tears to my eyes. I am hoping that my Diamond in the Rough will come back from boot camp as shiny as yours did.
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Permalink Reply by ElizabethC on
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Janelle....your story is awesome it gave me chills....my son leaves for BC the end of Oct, he like your son has been floundering (for a lack of a better word) for the past 2 years, I can only hope that my son will make the transformation and that I too will have a wonderful story to tell. Thank you so much for giving me so much hope.
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you misunderstood what i meant, i understand that the navy will control where i live, when i move and how long i might be there, i have no problem with that since my job can take me anywhere. what i meant was that if my husband had one person to call, it might be me.. it might not be me. in my husbands mind, his excuses make sense to him but to no one else. my husband might be a lot older than me, but he doesn't put family first. and what i mean by family is me and him, even though we have no kids. if my husband gets stationed somewhere else i might be the 3rd person to know when i should of been the first.
what i was asking in my question is if the navy will truly change my dear husband into a better man.
thank you for your story and i know i have a lot to learn, especially military time.
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hi, thanks for saying those wonderful things, i do have a lot to learn and i really do hope that my husband keeps me close, i gotta put that in a letter to him somehow lol, take care!! and God Bless!
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Permalink Reply by momof2sailors on
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When I was growing up my dad was in the Army Special Forces. We were always told that his priorities were in this order: 1) God, 2) Country, 3) Family. BUT we always knew he loved us.
Now when I went with my son to the recruiters office he told me he was not going to call or write in front of the recruiter. Wrong thing to do. The recruiter turned to him and said "YOU WILL WRITE AND YOU WILL CALL YOUR MOM OT THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENSES". lololol He got to know 8 count body builders real well.
But both my boys that are in the Navy have really changed and grown up so fast. And they very respectful. Makes me PROUD.
But I can tell you also that it is not going to be easy. Military life is hard. I can tell you this just from my experience as a Army Brat growing up. And as a girlfriend and now wife of someone who is now retired from the Navy. And a Navy MOM. But it can be very rewarding. Just something I can't explain, it is a feeling you get of being VERY PROUD.
Tell your husband to take advantage of all the education benefits he gets as active duty.
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lol, i really started to hate my husbands first recruiter, he didn't even intro himself to me and when i asked questioned he didnt know ANYTHING. so i asked my husband to switch but he felt guilty. but he ended up having to switch because something happened to his recruiter. he ended up with a great recruiter after that. made SURE that all my questions, anything i need, anything i might want to know, he wanted to hear them. he even left me know what that when my husband joins, i join and im high on that list. GREAT FEELING!! he even just called my the other day asking how i was, was there anything he could do. after he saw my husband not open a door for me when we went to visit his recruiter one day, my husband got lectured, now my husband opens doors for me, its so weird after being together for 5 and married for 4 years. like said by caorlyn, i just hope my husband can always, always keep my close to his heart.
i went ahead and told my husband to take classes while going to school, he thought it was a good idea because he was planning on just using his GI BILL later, but then since he was to be a pharmacist, 1 or 2 classes a semester isn't a bad idea since its on their dime yeah?
thank you for your story, it was lovely and made my laugh =)
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He could get his AA degree while active duty. And if he wanted to go for his BA degree also. Use his GI bill after getting out for a higher degree. My husband had a couple of his Navy kids get their Masters degree while on active duty.
We had some issues with both my sons recruiters. They both ended up with different recruiters. We still had some issues. But they are in and I guess that is all that counts I guess. But they did hear from me when I was pissed about something. They probably called me the mom from hell. But not going to see my kids get screwed. One of my sons did end up with a really good recruiter before he left for BC and he is the one that told my son about calling and writing me. LOLOLOL
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