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Comment by Stephanie( Mrs. Davis) on May 11, 2010 at 4:20pm

Yes, tape the phone.lol I missed his "I'm a Sailor Call" and I was freaking lucky he called back. BC is hard but, It made me and my now fiancee so much stronger. I never thought that it would do that or that we could get any stronger. Staying busy helped me through it and knowing that this is what we wanted made me want to support him so much more. He always told me that my letters were getting him by and getting him through it. One time he was all upset and even said he wanted out and to come home. I told him to keep going and that he was almost done and he did and became and honor graduate:) Being a navy gf,fiancee, and wife is hard and requires a lot of trust in your relationship. Even though its hard right now when you seem him at graduation it makes those two months seem so worth it.

Comment by Suzette <3 on May 11, 2010 at 3:01pm

i agree with all of you... i hadnt been apart from my husband either before he left to bootcamp but i knew that it would all pay off in the end. i gave him my support and always kept busy. i never let him know when i was feeling weak because i knew it would only make him him feel worse. when i finally saw him at PIR it was one of the best days of my entire life! and he was very happy and although he had changed... we still stayed connected because i would write to him everyday and i would send him pictures. he told me that those things were the only things that kept him motivated and strong to continue there. torn to pieces- u just have to stay strong and show him how much he means to you and how much you support him through it and although he wont be able to talk to you or write you as often as you'd like, just know that he is always thinking about you. it's hard but you just gotta keep busy to keep your mind off it and ill guarantee u that time will fly fast. right now my husband is in a-school and i can tell you that BC is nothing compared to when theyre at school accross the country with more chances of liberty while ur not there. thats when the trust needs to kick in because if you dont have trust, it will never work. stay strong thats the best advice i could give to anyone

Comment by jde on May 11, 2010 at 2:53pm

What helped me alot while he was gone was going to websites and see what he was doing each week, it made me feel a little more connected to him in some sort of way. Jess you are right, write to him ALOT those letters as my dh mom put it "are a hug from home" when they get it. Torn to pieces - those fears you have about him forgetting you are in his head as well, what if she is having such a great time without me, what is she doing, what if she doesn't love me anymore once i am done, all that. When you go the PIR you will see a different man, he will have changed. Not in a negative way but just how he carries himself and presents himself.

The websites i went to are http://www.bootcamp.navy.mil/ & http://usmilitary.about.com/od/navyjoin/l/aanavybasic1.htm

Comment by Jess on May 11, 2010 at 1:51pm

My Sr said " your letters are my whole everything,please write soon and often"

Comment by Jess on May 11, 2010 at 1:50pm

im sure hes not going to forget about you.Your his number one fan :-) He needs you its your letters to him that keep him strong

Comment by JENN 226 on May 11, 2010 at 1:41pm

Agreed, right now I keep thining what if he forgets about me , or doesnt love me.... even tho he reassured me over and over again... but that fear will go away once i hear from him and see that distance doesnt change love

Comment by Cassandra Rose on May 11, 2010 at 1:41pm

And P.S. Liberty weekend is BY FAR the best weekend ever and it will make up for all of this time apart. If you had a strong stable relationship to start with, this will only make your relationship stronger in ways you couldn't have imagined.

Comment by Cassandra Rose on May 11, 2010 at 1:40pm

Jess, I mostly agree with you too. After about the second week of my fiance being gone I CHOSE to not feel so miserable anymore. I got up, signed up for dance classes, went to dinner with my girl friends, signed up to volunteer with some community projects, got myself another job, and just stayed busy. Your significant other is GONE whether you want him to be or not, and since there's no changing that you might as well chose to handle yourself and get yourself together enough to support him 100%. This is the hardes thing that he has ever had to go through, and because he's currently miserable as hell he NEEDS your support and your strength. No ifs ands or buts about it. And that is why torn to peices- if you need to cry or complain or need someone to listen to what you're going through PLEASE do it on here and not in your letters or phone calls to him. He is already so mentally exhausted and broken down that if he knows you feel the same way it can only hinder him. Let him know you love and miss him, but let him know you're staying strong and support him.

Comment by Addison'sBG on May 11, 2010 at 1:40pm

This is so stressfull. I am suppose to be in California in 17 days to go visit. And I dont know the orders of operations to be able to see him. I thought he could get me a military ID and I could stay on base at the Navy Lodge. I had no idea we couldn't do this. He is currently in School for a half day every day over there. Should i get a hotel close off base and stay there? Would I never be aloud on base there? Has anyone gone to see their boyfriends? How does this work? Im feeling like my sailor hasn't researched my stay very well and neither have I!!!!!

Comment by Jess on May 11, 2010 at 1:32pm

torn to pieces I want to say that i feel bad for the pain you are going through and i hope this dosent sound mean but this is how i am looking at this.My SR left for BC on April 12 was supposed to be the 13 but his recruiter told him Sunday he was leaving in the morning.We had never spent anytime apart and when we were not together we were always texting leaving notes and calling each other.It is hard but this is HIS dream and i will support that at all costs.I do allow myself to cry and miss him but i am a firm believer that you choose you own feelings.No one can make you hurt.You choose to hurt.I chose not too.Trust is something that always was just there for us and that's why we are together.Im sure that your sailor miss you terribly but he is there for a job and that's got nothing to do with you.He will write when he can and call when he can.I have not heard my SR voice since the im here call on the 13 of April.He called sat night for the first time in 4 weeks and i missed it.I was mad i cried i threw stuff then i was over it.Im sure he was just as upset.Please try not to make it any harder on you than it already is.Go tanning get your hair done,do something for you and you will feel better.Every day is one day closer that you get to see him.Meet him as a U.S Sailor and that is so huge.Just keep your chin up hun and Keep supporting your man.

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