my fiance just got his verbal orders - going to HI

[sschick02_new navy wife]

I am so new to all of this.  My fiance just graduated bc Mar 26 and is finishing up A school.  He found out today that he is (according to verbal orders) going to HI.  I have read that wives aren't allowed to move with until they reach E4, is that true?  I'm so confused and just trying to figure out the timeline that we are looking at until we can live together.  We are getting married while he is home in May before he goes to his first duty station.  Any info would be appreciated.  Thanks.

[Mary, Proud Mom of Nick]

I don't want to give you bad information but have him go back and talk to his command at A school. If you get married after he receives orders, then they will not be accompanied orders which means the Navy will not pay for you to move to Hawaii. I hope someone comes along that has current information on this policy but your fiance needs to ask his command. Good luck, it would be a wonderful place to start your married life. Is he reporting to a ship in Hawaii?

[LLovesmysailor]

I know that Hawaii is considered OCONUS and it is considered an unaccompanied tour for E-4 and below. I agree, he needs to talk to his command.

[sschick02_new navy wife]

i beleive he said the USS Port Royal. I told him that he should talk to someone and explain that we are getting married but he doesn't think that it will change anything since he already got the verbal orders. he had completed his dream sheet that he thought was a draft and was going to change it (he had put HI first because he said he thought that I would love to be there with him; and put VA 2nd, FL 3rd); and when he talked to (can't remember who he said) they told him not to worry because everyone wants HI and few get it and that he would probably get his 2nd choice; but it didn't work out that way. I just feel a little crushed at this point. I don't want to make him feel bad because I just don't know that anything can be changed. I just am sad at the thought that it may be a long time before we can live together. I have no idea how long he will even be there or if he would move up in in rank(?) fast enough for me to join him. I'm just confused at this point by all of it. He finished up school today and he said that tomorrow he will try to get more information. Thank you.

[Pat (MP)]

Once your fiance gets his written orders he can contact his sponsor who will be able to answer some of his questions. Since Hawaii is considered OCONUS, it's usually a 3 year tour. Have you set a wedding date yet? Hopefully everything will work out for you because like Mary said, Hawaii would be a great place to start your life as a married couple.

[sschick02_new navy wife]

I'm sorry what does OCONUS mean? We are aiming for May 8th wedding - that is if he is home in time. he said he thinks he will be leaving A school by the 1st; but has to wait for written orders and said that should be in about 5 days.

When you say 3 year tour - meaning he would go out for 6 month sea duties then back to HI for shore duty over a 3 year span? Sorry i don't understand all of this yet.

Thanks

[Pat (MP)]

OCONUS = Outside the continental United States. Since Hawaii is not attached to the US they are typically stationed there for 3 years. If you are attached to a ship that is considered sea duty. If you have shore duty you aren't attached to a ship. The Port Royal had an incident last summer and I'm not sure if it is still undergoing repairs so it may not deploy for a while or at least until the repairs are complete. In 3 years a ship may deploy 2 to 3x for 4 to 8 months plus other times for sea trials and quals which can be anywhere from a few days to a month.

[lynda n]

Just to clarify, my son is an LS(Logistics Specialist) with the SEAL Team One, even though he is not on a ship, it is considered being on ship not shore duty. He has had a few assignments with the SEALs outside of HI including the state of Washington and California, and he may to to Guam at some point. He has orders for three years in HI, so that is pretty much the norm.
Good luck to you.

[Pat (MP)]

Your son is considered to have sea duty because he deploys w/ Seals. The majority of those on "shore duty" DO not deploy unless they volunteer or are TAD.

[Rhonda8881]

I don't know the details of married couples going to HI, but met a lady on here not too long ago who had just moved to HI with her husband. Don't panic....hopefully he will find out soon how to proceed. Welcome to the group!

[huladangelo]

Hi, first of all, Hawaii is absolutely AWESOME :) Secondly, I can relate to this. My husband and I were planning a wedding for this June but were putting all the pieces together (i.e. wedding dress, decorations, etc) starting after we got engaged last May because my mom and I had this gut feeling that we were going to have to move the wedding date up and we didn't want to get caught with our pants down, so to speak. My husband is a nuke so he went through A school, power school, and then prototype. Toward the end of prototype, we were awaiting orders to Kings Bay, GA because he was told that he would get his first or second choice since he was a nuke and hey like to keep nukes happy. Long story short, I got a call during my break in classes from him telling me that he was going to be stationed in Pearl Harbor. These were his written-in-stone orders and, of course, I wasn't on them. We put our wedding altogether in 22 days and got married November 1st, he moved here November 10th, and I finished my semester and moved here the day after finals - December 12th. He is an E4 and didn't ask anyone to get married. What we did was got married during his 40 days of leave and got me registered into DEERS the day before he left. His sponser was non-existent through the whole thing. He didn't even get her name until he got here and never got calls from her. I know that during the month that he was here and I was still in SC, he got paid family separation pay and extra BAH for me. Also, we bought my plane ticket personally, and then took my itinerary to the finance office - can't remember the name of the building, I'm sure someone will fill in my blank, lol and the Navy reimbursed us for the plane ticket. We had absolutely no problem getting housing even though I wasn't on his official orders but I think that this is routine practice and everyone knows how to deal with it. The only difference is what rank is your fiance? that might be the only wrench because I'm pretty sure that guys under certain ranks have to ask permission to get married, my husband says that they don't ever deny permission but I think that they like to be kept in the loop, so to speak. Hope this helps! Private message me with any more questions - you're asking all the same things as I did when I went through this in October :)

[sschick02_new navy wife]

I sent you a friend request so we can private message. Would love to chat more - thanks!

[Marla]

I am a little late getting to this post, but if he is going to the USS Port Royal, please add me as a friend as my husband is on that ship. I can get you in touch with the Ombudsman, and she can help answer A LOT of your questions.