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Comment by diannep on May 17, 2010 at 8:03am

You ladies are doing so great on here...venting your feelings, etc. It helps alot! Just know that this journey is up and down. They may feel bc is "easy"now, but it won't stay that way...some parts easier than others. But then, would any of us every learn anything if life was always EASY???? I would get a great letter or phone call from mine, and then a not-so-great one. Just prepare yourself that it is an emotional rollercoaster ride. Because it is! Boot camp is not meant to be easy or fun...because it is a molding and growing experience for these recruits. So if any of them tell you it is easy and a breeze.....NOT! But many may not want their moms to worry about them. And it definitely is easier for some than others...but it is not a process meant to be easy for any of them. The real grit of bc starts the first week of bc, which is after the processing days (which could be from one week to 10 days or so after the arrive). But once your recruits get past the first 3-4 weeks of bc, it does get much better. That is when my son became so much more positive. Cry when you need to, look forward to the form letter and the first REAL letter and/or phone call...because you will treasure each of those. Keep your cell phones glued to your bodies...even in the bathroom. Calls are totally random. I was very lucky not to miss any of my son's (he called about 5 times and his were always on a weekend or some holidays --- he was there for Thanksgivng and Christmas). Focus on PIR...because it is one of the most amazing experiences you will ever experience. A culmination of all of the emotions you have felt during bc. It is truly magnificent. And the Residence Inn Waukegan is wonderful to stay in!

Ladies, mine has now just reported to his first duty stationlast Fri....which brings its OWN set of issues....getting used to a new area and not being actually on a base anymore (he loved living on the bases, especially for A School). He is connected to a ship which is in dry dock, so they are in temp housing in a not so nice area (don't walk outside at night, they were told). He misses the comraderie of living with lots of buddies. He is alone in his room...but he has started to connect with A School buddies up in that area and he reported to work for the first time today. I spent a weekend in tears and frustration as he tried to adjust...but he is adjusting. Whewww! Our "mom heart strings" will always be yanked by our children...no matter how old.

Have a good day, Ladies....and please let me know if I can answer any questions. I think you guys are doing a great job "talking amongst yourselves' on here!

Comment by CW_Mom shp 9 div 228 on May 17, 2010 at 2:03am

It is hard ladies, no denying that. But you will make it. If you have a mother, spouse or friends, who even if they can't relate to what you are feeling, accept and support you, you are blessed. Sometimes in the midst of our sadness and loneliness it is so hard to see the blessing we have in our lives. To be quite honest, I'm having trouble with that right now! lol Having a little pity party for myself tonight... all alone.. see how pitiful I am!. lol It is a bummer not having a spouse or someone who cares for your child as much as you do during this time. So here I am in my pity party, asking God when are you gonna send me that good man?!? lol
Depper Mom's. you too will make it. You will keep waking up each day and moving forward, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. You will worry and you will pray. And then you will get your form letter from your son/daughter with the 4 lines at the bottom written by them, and maybe it will say something like mine did: "Nothing to write about really. If you don't screw up its easy. Give the people my address that I wanted.Post my status on my facebook. Love you, bye." And you realize, 'Wow! Not once did I think he might be doing ok! Or... even enjoying it?" I worried about 'if he was homesick, if he was sad, if he was hating it, if he felt alone, if he was scared, if he wished he had never joined.' And I made it worse for myself just picturing him sitting there on his bunk at night all sad and lonely. And I would put myself in his place and imagining how sad and scared I would feel. But what I was not doing, was remembering that he is not the same as I am. He deals with stuff less emotionally and probably wasn't feeling as bad as I was imagining. At least I hope not! lol And getting his form letter and him saying "It's easy if you don't screw up' was quite different than I was imaginig how my 'poor boy' was doing! I was imagining him having to extra stuff all the time because I didn't know he could even MAKE a bed, let alone make it perfect. His bedroom was a disaster, and he thought it was just fine.. and now he would be folding his UNDERWEAR! How in the world I wondered would this child survive there! I imagined him mentally struggling with the fact of how stupid he would think it would be to fold underwear, let alone fold them perfectly. lol
Do I still worry? Yes. Do I worry as much? No. Do I still cry, sometimes. Do I still miss him? Heck yes! But I am getting used to it. And as much as your heart breaks, and as hard as it is, it WILL get better. I wish I could make all of your hearts quit hurting, and take your worries away. Think positively instead of negatively like I was doing. Picture them happy and doing well.. it does help, and it doesn't help either one of you to picture it the other way. Been there, done that. Smile. :-)

Comment by Mitchell's Babygirl on May 16, 2010 at 11:57pm

It's okay ProudMom and JLC, I started crying when he went to meps lol. I did good the last week, according to him since I hide the tears from him every night until his going away party...everyone kept asking me what I was going to do and they sent me into a panic attack...it wasn't good. After that he knew what a mess I was. And I was doing so well till then too argh!!

Comment by Mitchell's Babygirl on May 16, 2010 at 12:40am

My Husband called me and his Mom today. He told me that the graduation date on his letter would be a day off and he would graduate July 1st. Anyone else?

Comment by diannep on May 16, 2010 at 12:05am

AMEN, ER Nuse32: Big mistake! IWe need to prepare US for this.
am exhausted since my son left yesterday for his duty station. He is calling me and texting me constantly...I'm falling over tired. He is so discouraged and feels so alone right now. Misses the comraderie of other guys...he is alone in temporary housing...I have talked to him for hours it seems. I hope that when he reports for his 1st day of work on Monday, that things will start falling into place for him. He has had the companionship of a wonderful friend from A School last night and today ( he is stationed elsewhere but close by). If not for this guy, I don't know how my son would be making it. Seems awful that they have just "dumped" him in a room by himself with no one to talk to. I don't get it....but then the Navy doesn't have to ask ME what to do for my SON! HA! He bought a car today....but is afraid to drive it around because he will get lost. UGH! Calgon...TAKE ME AWAY!

Comment by ER_Nuse32 on May 15, 2010 at 5:58pm

Oh a little saying husband told me on one of my freek outs!!

"We have prepared her for 18 years for this day. To go out into the world and find her place. To be a productive citizen. AND NOT ONE DAY PREPARING OURSELVES FOR THIS DAY"

Comment by diannep on May 15, 2010 at 8:40am

Great post, CW Mom! I agree totally! There are emotional setbacks for us sometimes during our child's journey, but we and they get back on track. Mine left for his duty station yesterday...first plane ride alone....and then he was kind of left by himself in a room at an extended hotel (temporary housing) in a "not so nice" neighborhood (not on a base...and he was told NOT to go out in the area at night because it is very unsafe). HIs ship is dry docked right now, so all are living in different places temporarily. He was so so down...just wanted to give up. Here I was...miles and miles away...and my heart was ripped apart listening to him acting like there was no hope. That was the first time he had been negative about the Navy (he had loved it from A School on!). Of course, I got off the phone and burst into tears....and then called some wonderful friends to ask for prayers! Imagine my joy when just about 3 hours later, he called to say that he had connected with an A School friend who had a car and was coming by. YAH! They are going to the beach today. And another friend of theirs will join them tomorrow for a day of fun. He still is scared to death...he is not on a base...so no galley to eat in, just a small gym and a small NEX nearby. Quite a change from the 2 bases he had been on with bc and A School. He reports for duty on Monday morning. But I thank the Lord that He brought some friends into his life to get him through this weekend. I'm still a bit teary...because he is not settled yet. Even though he has more space in an extended hotel room than on a ship, he looks forward to the day they can move back on it so all are there together. He may be moved to another building on Monday...so I continue to pray that he finds a group of friends to connect with. And I pray for him in the performance of his job now. So...the Navy is an up and down experience...but I thank God for the wonderful moms on N4M's because they are the best and help to keep me from losing it totally! Have a good weekend, everyone!

ER Nuse32: Thanks for posting on here for the "waiting" moms. Having the experience that you and your family members have had just makes your words like gems to those moms. I know they will appreciate the advice!

Comment by CW_Mom shp 9 div 228 on May 15, 2010 at 4:17am

danniellekay: It was harder for me before he left, than it has been after. My son left on May 3rd. We feel like our heart is breaking. We are scared to let them go, worried, we have always been there to take care of them, even when they didn't need it. We watched out for them and took care of them. It's hard to let go, and imagining how hard it is going to be I think makes it even harder. It's hard not to be sad and anxious, maybe impossible for us moms! :-) But it does get better, promise. It was so anxious and sad just thinking about the upcoming day when he would leave. Afterwords it's sad, but you don't have the anxiety about the upcoming day you will be saying goodbye. And remember, just a couple months, 8 weeks... you can make it.. and then you will see him and be able to talk to him again. Soon after that you can talk fairly regularly. And everything will be ok. It is scary and very hard for us to let them go, even if we know it is for the best and will benefit them greatly. But stay on here and you will read so many moms feel like you. Read the support comments, learn more about what your son is doing, and it won't be long you'll be talking again.

Comment by ER_Nuse32 on May 14, 2010 at 8:31pm

Hi moms!! Just stopping by...Im a navy vet (corpsman) Married to a Navy vet (FC) and have a Daughter and a nephew (both DC) in now. My daughter graduated boot camp last month and my nephew 4 months before that...And I have been to both of the graduations.

I have not read the whole thread but here are a few things I will pass on!!
1. RTC Monitor this site...so no names, or personal information they can use to pick your child out. They will try. Most mean no harm, but can embarrass your child.

2, If you can...Go to the meet and greet the day before at the Ramada Inn. Its a blast and a way to celebrate your children together. I met some great moms on here..and it was so nice to meet in person. Bring camera and tissues.

3. Be prepared to shop and eat alot!! Two things they have not had a choice in. And they have 3 months of pay burning a hole in their pocket.

4. Bring civilian clothes..They will not get to wear them out of the motel room...But they will be looking forward to a LONG hot shower and some civilian clothes even for just a bit. Remember they have been showering back to back or two to a shower head. They will love a hot shower alone!

If you have any questions...about bootcamp, graduation, places to eat, things to do, hotel (I stayed at the red door/red roof cant remember now and the last time the Ramada) you can add me as a friend and ask me direct! Hold on tight this ride will be over soon..Bravo Zulu to the families for your support and love!

Comment by Docsangel on May 14, 2010 at 5:00pm

Thanks diannep, I'll try to be patient. My son's girlfriend just let me know that hs box arrived a few minutes ago.

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