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Comment by gnomesweetgnome Ship 11/Div199 on June 5, 2011 at 9:59am

Lepus, I'm sending a thousand hugs to you! It sounds like you're keeping yourself busy, which has been the biggest help to me. It's also great that you get to talk to him so frequently.

I know what you mean about the feelings of guilt. But you know what? You are STILL an awesome wife. No one is perfect. I regret all the times I snapped at my husband, or took him for granted, or didn't take care of him the way I should have...but that is all in the past, and we can only go forward. He loves you unconditionally, and I'm sure he knows what a great person and wife you are. He hasn't been the perfect husband, either! But that's what life is all about...learning from your mistakes and becoming a better person.

I would recommend joining some kind of group (yoga, church, book club, etc.)...and see if you can find any other military wives in your area! I don't have any other military wives in my area right now, but am able to feel like I have a group due to this website. Military wives are a special group, and when a lot of others can't understand us or understand what we're going through, we can rely on each other.

I know he may be practical, but if sending him a care package makes you feel good, do it! Usually food is the best option because they don't have to find room to store it. :) Plus, I know my husband would never turn down food!

I know you're going through a lot right now. Change is not always easy to deal with...whether you know it's coming or if it occurs suddenly. I don't know if you are religious, but I have found great comfort in rediscovering my faith and relationship with God. Something to consider. :)

I hope you are feeling better soon. Things will get better...and we are here for you!!

Comment by Lepus120724 on June 5, 2011 at 2:38am

Thank you Sailorwife.  I'm pretty new myself which is probably why I'm a bit lost.  Right now my whole life is pretty detached... I work online, I see my husband online, I talk to my friends and family online and on the phone. 

I realize I'm super lucky to have the connection that I do.  I get to talk to my husband about 5-20 minutes a day.  He works 12 hour days and besides that he's just trying to find time to eat and sleep.  He sends me emails when he's not able to talk. I just miss him.  I wasn't given much of a warning before he left so I think that is part of the difficulty as well.  He took over for someone else who had a personal issue.  I'm proud of him.  For so many things. 

It's just so quiet here right now.  He's a bit of chatter box at home - not in public but at home.  When he's home he will talk constantly, to me, to the cat, to himself... it's like a constant happy buzz.   Right now it's just quiet.  It hasn't been very long since he left so I'm hoping I'll get used to it.

I keep getting these weird feelings of guilt - thinking about all of the things that I could have done "better" while he was here.  :(

 

Are we allowed to post where he is at for ideas of what things he will need sent to him?  He keeps telling me he can get things because there is a NEX there and not to worry about anything.  I still feel like it would be nice to send him things besides letters.  He's a very practical person so it's difficult to get him to give me a list of things he wants or needs. He knows how busy I am with my job (I teach about 50 hours a week) so I think he feels like I should just focus on what I need to do.  It's when I'm doing things for him that I start to feel a little bit better. 

 

 

Comment by corpsmanwifeschu on June 5, 2011 at 1:54am

Lepus, I'm still getting used to this whole military wife life as hubby is still at RTC, but this is the place to be. Vent to us. Lean on us. We may only be with you digitally, but we're still here for each other!

Comment by Lepus120724 on June 4, 2011 at 10:35pm

My husband is on deployment, I work at home (online college professor) and I know no one where we live. It's just me and my cat right now. I have great friends but I can only talk to them on the phone and none of them are military spouses so it's difficult to really connect on that level. I'm trying to look on the bright side. It will give me more time to go to the gym, more time to read, more time to work in my studio ... I still miss my husband and can't seem to get myself together on the inside even if I can keep it together on the outside most of the time. I just can't really seem to open up about it 100% to my friends or family because I know that even though they care about me they won't understand completely and then I'll feel even worse. I sometimes avoid calling people when I'm really sad because I don't want them to know how I'm dealing with things and I don't want them to hear me cry. I feel like a huge baby and to be honest a little bit lost. I'm not used to being like this... help.

Comment by gnomesweetgnome Ship 11/Div199 on June 2, 2011 at 1:17am

Haha...Amen! I remind myself that it will definitely be worth the wait. :) That's true with so many things in life. Guess I better get used to it!

Comment by TickledTink on June 1, 2011 at 11:57pm

And TRUE!  AH only 3 weeks into RTC and it's tough!  But such is the life of any mil wife!

Comment by gnomesweetgnome Ship 11/Div199 on June 1, 2011 at 9:42am

Yeah...no way I'd wear that around town. But it's still funny and cute. :)

Comment by joel's_rackie on June 1, 2011 at 3:28am

Gnome! that was a cute patch! If only I'm that brave to wear it.. Hah!!

Comment by gnomesweetgnome Ship 11/Div199 on May 31, 2011 at 11:54pm

Haha, Janae...same thing here. He's so practical, saying they're a waste of money...AND my favorite flower is the hydrangea, which is a plant so that lasts even longer! The one he sent me is now dead, and I feel kind of bad about it...but they're not really meant to last that long. Oh well.

 

I'm really really really lucky in that we got to celebrate our third anniversary ten days before he left for RTC. I am so blessed with that...even though we missed his birthday, and will miss mine.

Comment by Janae' *My Love is HOME :)* on May 31, 2011 at 8:21pm

Gnome I feel the same way. Supporting him is number one. It's very important. And I've only gotten flowers once in our 3 1/2 years together because he says flowers die and he wants me to have something that I don't have to throw away in a week. Lol. Everytime he is about to leave he says "remember that I'm doing this for us and our future". That is also what he said before he left for boot.

Joels rackie, you celebrated ur first anniversary the day before my husband proposed to me.

Sailorwife, I also love your last paragraph.

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