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Comment by BunkerQB on October 2, 2011 at 1:02pm

Jsparkle, OMG. Sigh. My son is a lieutenant. He told me the hardest task he has to deal with is when one of his guys gets a "Dear xxx" text/email/letter/call from a fiancee/wife/gf. Is not like they take a leadership class on this. Is it better to ignore it, work him to death, so he forgets? or put an arm around him, let him cry it out? What would be the best for him? What would be the best for the Navy? and the job he has to do?  His solution was to try and make the group bond and work together, make sure they have each others back when a situation comes up. But his way of doing things is very labor intensive and requires many extra hours on his part, getting the know the guys each one individually, helping them in areas where they are weak. Not many of the other officers are willing to devote the time, effort and energy to doing it this way because it doesn't show up on their records (no extra pay). However, I do know this is one part of the Navy that he will miss tremendously after he completes his commitment next year. Well, that's another topic.

He thinks the guys like it better when they help each other rather than having an officer get in on it. He makes sure they all have his cell #. Yes, he actually got calls when he was on leave last month.  He sometimes will make little snippy remarks about the fanatical N4Ms but he is thankful that most of the sailors have a strong support system. The ones with no one back home are the ones he worries about.

Comment by BunkerQB on October 2, 2011 at 12:35pm

Lorraine, thanks for dropping in and sharing with us your life. I know a number of single moms/dads who have been everything for their sons/daughters. What strength and determination! It would have been easy to blame what your don't have and use it as an excuse to be a negligent parent. We know your son will continue to do well knowing when he does falter, he has you to turn to.

Comment by mommajo on October 2, 2011 at 12:16pm

Prayers for all and a second {{{group hug}}}

Called my son this morning to say I love you and make sure he was ok.  He was spending the night at a friends house and didn't know anything had happened. 

Congrats to the recent A school grads. And God Bless us all!

 

 

Comment by MN Mom of MM on October 2, 2011 at 12:33am

Prayers for the family of the sailor that took his life.  And also for each and every sailor at GC.  And Prayers for each and every one of you awesome Moms of Nukes (with a few guys and GF in the mix).  May God comfort and wrap his loving arms around us all.  I had a great Skype time with my sailor last night.  We talked about what was coming up in these last/next 2 months of Power school.  He has a schedule on the cards of his badge so knows when the exams are, how many study halls,  when the "widow maker" is, even a picnic is  scheduled :)  

Bunker...You are so right if they only know how much we care and love them.  I often text mine.  "Have I told you lately how much I love you,?" or "Only GOD loves you more than I do"  I want to start sending a few nore notes like that (snail Mail) with positive messages or bible verses through out the next 2 months.    Need to head to bed,    God Bless you ladies.

Comment by MomofNuke on October 2, 2011 at 12:24am

Sherri I've been meaning to mention to you what an amazing woman you are.  I am so glad your son is doing well, he sounds wonderful (takes after his mom?).  Anyway, things do turn out for the best.  IT is a great field to be in.  There are so many different things he can do with it, the list is endless.  I know I've worked in the IT field for many years before I had my sons, took a 16 year break, and went back into the field.  In the day we live in today with people losing jobs, those in IT who  produce quality work, are dependable, trustworthy, & don't have serious social skill deficits are rarely laid off.  For those with an aptitude for it, it is interesting & a line of work that is not repetitive or boring.

Comment by BunkerQB on October 1, 2011 at 11:36pm

My husband and I have been through the up and down  - not with our sailor but w our younger son. I won't go into details but we went through extreme highs and lows. Until we accepted that fact that it's HIS life. They have both test our understanding and patience. Nothing was always peachy. I remembered when our sailor was in 9th grade and spent his days and night playing some computer game. We thought if he could get into Heald College, we'd be thrill. It wasn't that he didn't have the brain power - he just didn't know what he wanted to do with it. He was rejecting the college route until all his friends started to talk about college applications in his sophomore year. All of a sudden a switch went off. He blossomed became one of the HOT smart jocks (Athlete of the Year, Physics Student of the Year). Got really focused. He graduated from college with a top engineering school with honors. I think w our nukes there is an element of social awkwardness that is hard for them to bring out into the open.  They are also introspective and analytical. We have to find environments where they can thrive. And wait for the transformation. I tell them to trust their instincts. Don't over analyze. Chances are they are doing better than they think.

We have to pray that they find someone who will really appreciate the special people that they are.

To all the fiancees, wives and girlfriends - you have chosen to love our sailors, you are wonderful and precious and deserve all the credit that can be offered. Yes, I treat my son's fiancee like she is golden.

Comment by Jsparkle (MM Wife) on October 1, 2011 at 11:35pm

its the wifes fault that he did this. ive talked to close friends of his and the things the wife and her SO (not her husband) did were not very nice. not to mention the stress from school and the added element of alcohol. its alot of things but honestly i dont think the wife will have any remorse.

Comment by quiltblue on October 1, 2011 at 11:34pm

Prayers for everyone at GC... such evil exists in this world, I am praying that his Sailor and his wife knew/know Jesus! God Bless our Sailors, big hugs to all in this group... I pray for us and this journey daily.

Comment by MamaCindy (MMW TM) on October 1, 2011 at 11:12pm

Had a great time at A School graduation on Friday and spending time with our Sailor last night and today before heading back home.  Ceremony was SO laid back compared to PIR and to what I've heard about Power School graduation, but a great celebration of their accomplishments and good advice from all who spoke. As each name was called, they were applauded - so I got to "cheer" for each new Petty Officer -  even if I didn't know if any of the Sailors were yours!  There were almost as many family members as Sailors in the room, so it seemed there was a good bit of support.  Do know my son has a private room sharing a bathroom, but I  can't remember the name of the building.  He's excited, but not about being further away from Rickover, the parking lot (we brought his car to him)  and galley.  Trade-offs in life!

So sad to hear of the tragic news from GC.  We had no idea while there.  Prayers for his loved ones....

Comment by swim4life on October 1, 2011 at 11:02pm

((((((( group hug )))))))

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