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Comment by Skincareicat on August 28, 2017 at 9:54pm

Thank you M's Mom

Comment by M's mom on August 28, 2017 at 9:22pm

Tunabeche:

The "Hi Moms"  the night before graduation can be anything from cocktails at a hotel to a full dinner at the Officer's Club.  The candidates themselves plan and pay for the Hi Moms, not OCS, so it's whatever the candidates want and decide they can afford.  It's not just for Moms, of course, but anyone the candidate wants to invite.  The candidates form a committee to plan Hi Moms in the last weeks of OCS, and work with the venue to decide how much it will cost per person.  Each candidate then decides how many of their family they can afford to invite!!!!  Some families leave the "kids" back at the hotel, and just Mom and Dad attend, but up to your family. Candidates may have a guest limit due to space.   My son's class had a cocktails and snacks reception at a historic Newport hotel downtown.  Some classes have a full dinner.  You will be invited by your son when the time comes.  They usually give out class awards at Hi Moms, and show a funny video of their training. (They can finally laugh about it then.)

Each candidate must turn in a list of names in advance of all those attending graduation, so be prepared to provide this as well as Social Security numbers, to be checked for security reasons.  All adults going onto the base for graduation must show a photo ID at the gate and it will be checked against the list, so be prepared for that.    Can't be too careful these days..... 

Comment by Skincareicat on August 28, 2017 at 7:35pm

This is my first time here. My son is at OCS in Newport and his graduation date is Oct6th. Does anyone know about the Hi Moms dinner?

Comment by M's mom on August 28, 2017 at 10:06am

Katryn and others, 

We were told just to send white envelopes only, because as Anna wrote, so as not to draw the DI's attention to your candidate with anything different than the others.  Small clippings as others have said might be OK, but no fat envelopes that might be "contraband."  I would say NO musical cards either, even if it is playing "Anchors Aweigh."   Each Drill Instructor has leeway to be as nasty as they want to be over things like that, so you don't want to send anything that brings the DI's attention to your candidate.

My son graduated OCS in 2012, and at that time, they received email privileges after week 4.  Could be different now.  If you don't think your LO knows your email address from memory, send a letter listing it.  They will be emailing from a closed government server, and will NOT have access to their usual email program where they could just scroll down and click on "MOM,"  so they will have to type in the entire email address.   Be aware that they are told that their emails can be monitored by their DI, so don't be surprised if they use a very formal tone in their emails to you. My son gave very few details in his emails to questions I asked, because he assumed the DI was reading it, and he didn't dare complain at all, only after graduation!  haha

Comment by Katryn on August 28, 2017 at 7:19am

Thanks Anna and jsefamily...That makes me feel much better...I also wondered about clippings so thanks for mentioning that..I didn't know until yesterday that they basically had to access to current events for the first few weeks...I'll be sure not to send a thick envelope though...again everyone on this site is awesome and I really appreciate all the advice...I'll pay it forward for sure ;)

Comment by Anna on August 28, 2017 at 12:53am

Katryn and jsefamily,

What you say about the envelope color is basically true!!  I don't think there will be any kind of 'extra PT" because of a simple colored envelope.  What I will say tho is that not all DIs run their companies the same.  What one DI will overlook another will make an issue about it.  My daughter's DI was a real hard-a88!!!  He may not give extra PT for something like that but he will razz the candidate as a way to humiliate them.    I found that anything that brought unnecessary attention to my daughter was not a good thing - he had an issue with her and even admitted at her commissioning that he was trying to get her to quit!!  I wanted to have a few choice words with him after graduation but she took the high road and let it all go.  She outranked him then!!!!!

Comment by jsefamily on August 27, 2017 at 10:44pm

Katryn, I sent letters and cards in all colors of envelopes.  Not once was it an issue.  After I read about the white envelope thing, I asked him about it and his response was, The instructors couldn't care less about the color of the envelope.  They have bigger things to worry about."  Some were blue, tan, yellow or white.  I ordered some personalized Hallmark cards so they came with envelopes in all different colors.  Clippings inside are ok, too.  It's just an issue if you are sending a thick envelope of what could be construed as contraband.  Don't scent the envelopes, just be reasonable.  But, write.  That's the underlying message.  The blue envelope is not a big deal.  Really.

Comment by Katryn on August 27, 2017 at 10:24pm

Geeze I sent my first letter yesterday in a "blue" envelope...I am sick thinking I may have gotten my son in trouble...Sending one again tomorrow in a "white" envelope...Thanks for all you veteran moms for helping us new moms....

Comment by Anna on August 27, 2017 at 10:18pm

NukeMomCarol,

That's what us old-timers are here for!!!!  LOL!!!  It is impossible to learn everything right out of the bull pen!!!!

Thank you!!!

Comment by jsefamily on August 27, 2017 at 10:10pm

The summary by M's mom is a great one.  Things are changing all the time.  We have knowledge of our experiences but as moms of more recent graduates may share, their experiences were different.  My DS was in Class 01-14.

M's mom expressed encouraging letters.  It is so important.  Before my DS left, he assured me he didn't/wouldn't need mail.  I wrote letters anyway and when his first response letter came (yes, he wrote letters back!), he stressed how important those letters were to him and to write as often as I could.  I wrote him a letter everyday he was gone, down to the last week when they tell you not to send anymore mail as it might not arrive in time.  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  He said the mail made a huge difference for him.  His dad even wrote one now and then--sending baseball trade deadline clippings and such.  He loved it and he said the information was a hot item to be shared among the baseball fans.  It was a lot of work, but worth it all knowing it helped.  At OCS graduation, several of his friends commented on all the letters from his supportive family.  So please write--even if you're not a big letter writer.  It helps.

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