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Comment by annafornavy on June 1, 2010 at 9:44am

Noelle: Everyone has given different perspectives for you to process. We all love you and deeply care about you and your son. It is hard to know what is the right thing to do. I also know that Dustin has written letters to his brother and dad that have been more informative than mine and I wonder if he thinks he already told me what he sharing with me as I am sure it gets confusing what he wrote to whom.. I know I have repeated myself in some of his letters.. LOL.. I chalk it up to AGE... I loved Jenn saying that she knew when she came home her family's love was still there without judgement.. That is so true.. I grew up with a Marine father and he was very tough on us, and I knew it was because he loved us. I was gentle yet firm with my two sons. So they knew I loved them they could come to me with anything and tough enough so they knew they could not pull anything over on me either.. HUGS AND LOVE TO YOU!!!

Comment by JENN 226 on June 1, 2010 at 9:21am

Noelle: not being a mother myself but as a daughter, 3 years ago I went on a mission trip to the dominican republic for 2 weeks we only had phones once during that time for me it was my first experience ever away from home I am an only child and was very much a home body very close with parents. When I left I had a boyfriend at the time and a best friend. When I got the call I called both my bf and my bestfriend. I didnt really think to call home because it was the first bit of freedom I had, I felt like I was grown up, also my mom had a very hard time when I was leaving to the airport and cried which made it even worse for me as I was already a bit nervous to be going somewhere new. I knew how much my mom loved me and never had to doubt or concern myself with that , it mighjt sound ungreatful but i meanthis in a positive way family is always going to be tehre for you, well in my family thats how we wlook at it, no matter what at the end of the day what you do doesnt matter because you acn come back to your family without judgement and they will love you regardless. This is why I never really thought to call mom, I was positive she would still love me she is family... Maybe try writing to your son and explain to him how you feel..

ANNA: I LOVED that you said we only have a week and a half left of letters cuz then camp is over .. then shortly after we will be there can you believe this? that just made my day thanks xo

Comment by Nancy (MAA Mom) on June 1, 2010 at 9:18am

Having been raised by a parent that engaged in "the silent treatment" I find it dysfunctional and destructive. Nothing positive will be gained by doing that to your child. My sense is that after the PIR you will forget about this anyway. Who knows why he's doing what he's doing but he's in a place that demands your continued support regardless of his behavior. As far as the two that are acting up, I totally agree with you leaving them behind.

Comment by annafornavy on June 1, 2010 at 9:04am

NI39: I would certainly be crushed by my sons actions if this were happening to me. Do you think he is trying to push back from you and your husband to make boot camp easier? Was it hard when he left you to head for boot camp? I am just trying to understand his mental place right now.. I know it would hurt you to stop writing and reaching out to him as we can all tell what a loving mother you are. After this week we only have another week and a half to really write because boot camp will be ending and I am not sure what happens to the letters once they leave and head to A school. Reversing the tables would certainly let him know what it feels like to be discarded and left wondering why you are writing. And as we all know we learn the most from our life experiences.
If my son called his girlfriend I would have been flattened by that. Expecially they way you worried and wondered why he didnt call when the rest of the group did. As mama's we just want to hear their voice and know all is well. They cant hide from us because we know if something is wrong by the different tones they use. I am a tough love mom. Being a single parent 85% of my sons lives I had to be. I know I would stop writing and see if his next call would be to me. And then I would ask him why he is being so vauge in his letters and then why he didnt take half the call to call his girlfiend and the other half for you. I am sure you would have been thrilled with that. I know boot camp is tough and they all handle their emotions differently. Maybe it would have hurt him too much to hear your voice and maybe his letters have been vaugue because he is trying to protect you from some of the feelings he is going through with leaving you. I dont want you to make a decision that will torment you down the road. As far as the other children that are acting up. Again I am a tough mom so I would have told my younger son he doesnt get to come to graduation because that is an event that is held in high regard and his actions are not reflecting the privilege of attending. The hardest thing for us paretns is teaching our children the consequneces of their actions. But we have to love them enough to do so.. Even though it is shredding our hearts while we do it.. Gosh this is such a sensitive area.. I dont want you to live with any regrets... I feel so bad for you and the postion you are in and all the hurt feelings you are processing.. All I know is we are here for you and stand with you, whatever tough decisions you have to make. I am praying for you, that you will gain some piece of mind.

Comment by Phillymom on June 1, 2010 at 8:44am

I agree with mamabear...do not want to argue either. I know it must be very hurtful to not recieve a letter or call but who knows whats going on there. Take a deep breathe and just go with it and after you see him and give him a BIG hug at PIR then you can give him a good tongue lashing...haha,, Keep writing and supporting him ! I am sure you will hear from him before graduation..I wish you well.

Comment by JENN 226 on June 1, 2010 at 8:42am

Hey everyone! Not really on topic by only 24 days left can we believe it....

Comment by mamabear5 (CVN65) on June 1, 2010 at 8:19am

to:NI39,--- I can only tell you I also am the mother of 5, and am taking all 4 of my younger boys to graduation,I understand the financial part is hard...but i would never dream of not having my recruits brothers there to watch this BIG event in my oldest sons life. and as for giving your son the silent treatment, i don't think that's a way of getting him to write you, I know my son has many people writing him and he is keeping in touch with everyone, and I wish his letters home were longer but i know he is on a strict time schedule and as his mom he knows its ok if his letters are short but I also know that my letters to him mean a great deal, so I don't understand why you would want to punish your son by not writing anymore........
(I am not here to argue I just gave my point of view from one mom to another.)

Comment by NI39 on June 1, 2010 at 3:48am

Well ladies I am struggling with a few decisions. 1 I have been writing my son every day and have not gotten a direct response from him. 2. When getting a phone call he did not use any of his time to call home. His dad and I are however really hurt by it. I am considering not writing him anymore. I just feel he is not valueing his family enough. I have been talking to people he is writing and he is telling them everything and us barely anything. So I figure Maybe I should give him the silent treatment so he can realize....:/ What do you think?
The other thing is my two of my children (i have 5) are acting up...not respecting thier Dad and I. Is it mean to leave them home because I am thinking I could really save the money and they truly are not deserving of the experience!? Please share your feedback. I really need to make some decisions here.

Comment by matilda114 (ship 9 div 226) on June 1, 2010 at 12:45am

worked the 3 day weekend with the phone in my hand not going to miss the call.
none came :(

Comment by SumiK0125 (wife of a Nuke MM) on May 31, 2010 at 8:58pm

anna~ he didn't say a whole lot... he wanted to confirm his graduation list with me ( he wasn't aware of the overflow situation the RDC never said a word about it!)
he got to talk to Landon for a minute and said he is adjusting to life at Boot Camp, and has gotten the hang of everything. He is also really excited to start the fire fighting week

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