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Comment by MOMofDREW2.0 on December 14, 2016 at 8:17pm

I was so glad to hear my single sailor will be working during the holidays so the sailors with families could have the time off.  Thank you Drew!  

Comment by LoriM (div 337--Kevin's submom) on December 14, 2016 at 9:28am

I am a sub mom also and have learned to adapt. My son is coming home just after the holidays. I said we would celebrate then with him and his sister. She was great gives me more time. My son was why. Sometimes they just don't get it, but in the end I know they appreciate it. Hope everyone has a good holiday and can at least talk or text if you can't be together.

Comment by Beglish on December 14, 2016 at 7:35am

I've adopted the philosophy that I'm in Navy training along with my son and part of that is getting used to not having much information and not being able to plan.  Parents have to learn to live with that.  When my son IS free he is with his girlfriend and her family primarily, and we have accepted that too.  We just find other opportunities to pull our family together for celebrations - our Xmas will be 2 hours on 12/26 at a Dim Sum restaurant in between where everyone lives.  And I stand ready to travel to him when the opportunity arises.  My son did prototype training in NY and is finishing up in SC.  Next sub school in CT (we live in Mass so we are psyched!) and then on to Norfolk, VA.  It's been a lot of work but he feels the training is coming together and paying off.  Any other Moms with kids heading to the Boise?

Comment by elizabeth_fl on December 12, 2016 at 4:23pm

Thanks Cath Bubblehead mom, ya'll are all awesome!! Idk what I'd do without ya'll sometimes :)

Comment by Cath Bubblehead mom on December 12, 2016 at 4:10pm

Elizabeth - I have 3 married sons, one is in the Navy. I knew once they were married, that their immediate family comes first. We were in CT and my sailor was assigned to Kingsbay. At that point, I did not expect him to travel north to see us.

We decided to move to FL and got to see him at Thanksgiving, but did not see the other 2 back in CT! That's life. We facetime with them, and do plan on traveling back to visit. 

A parent's job is to give their children wings to fly and make their own way. Whenever we get to see any of them will be our own holiday! Don't anx about it. They either get it or don't. Hopefully, they find support in groups like this, or the facebook groups - Loved Ones of Groton and CT Navy Parents.

Comment by elizabeth_fl on December 12, 2016 at 1:35pm

Thank you TJ Proudnavymom :) And of course they know that they are more than welcome to come and see us! I'm pretty sure it's just me overthinking esp since he had to go to school in Kingsbay before Thanksgiving and he met up and saw my parents for dinner one night while he was down there. And we also wanna go back to Kingsbay (if he can get time off) because his SC from his first boat is retiring (lucky duck hehehe) and we would love to go down for abt a week and watch such an awesome SC and a great influence to my husband retire. Now obviously if we go, I wanna go see my mom and dad because they aren't far from Kingsbay (as mentioned below) but I think getting the chance to see them twice in a year kinda makes me feel guilty. Even if my husband has told me "you need to have a vacation before we move, you do so much for us, you deserve it"

Comment by TJ Proudnavymom on December 12, 2016 at 1:26pm

I agree with the other moms that you and your husband should not feel added pressure to visit them.

I might add that they can visit as well! My husband and I have gone several times to visit our sailor when he's not underway. He doesn't even have to get the time off. We try to plan it for his weekend and take whatever time with him we can get.

Comment by elizabeth_fl on December 12, 2016 at 1:10pm

Thank you ladies so much!! It's been such a rollercoaster for us ever since we got married. They haven't been able to see him since we had our traditional wedding back in Jan 15, then he had to switch jobs in order to stay in the Navy (which called for moving to CT and head BACK to A school). He had already completed 5 years on his first boat and then after A school he was placed on the current boat. Unfortunately shore duty won't come for him for quite a few years even still (it's gonna be a long time). Our last boat (both his first boat and mine when we met) was a boomer and it's gonna be an adjustment for he and I both once the FA gets back underway (so to speak) because we didn't have the chance to get used to it before we moved to the Yards. We have spent the better part of our marriage just moving, moving, moving (4 moves in 2 1/2 yrs). And I don't think they will realize that he will be gone far MORE often with this boat than with the boomer he was on previously. Everyone wants to know when he will be back to see them but the truth is.... we really have no idea. Lol. I understand Shea... my mom and dad drove up to Maine to see us from Florida in July and we hadn't seen them since March of 2015 (keep in mind I grew up not far from Kingsbay so we saw them quite often when we lived down there).

Comment by Shea on December 12, 2016 at 10:30am

Elizabeth_fl holidays are tough and yes life on a fast attach is much different. One thing that I know helps many moms, dads and close family members who are missing their sailors is the ability to Skype or FaceTime. Obviously it's not the same as seeing them in person but somehow being able to see their face is so much better than just their voice. I hope this helps and know that many of us are right there with you. It's been a year since I've seen my son and I won't see him until sometime in April. Sixteen months is a long time!!

Comment by elizabeth_fl on December 12, 2016 at 8:24am

I have a question: how do you moms deal with not getting to see your sailors for the holidays?? The husband only gets 1 week of standdown for the Christmas season and unfortunately 1 week isn't long enough to go and see both of his parents (we aren't going to see mine either however lol) so we have decided to just stay here for the week. Not sure if it is bothering my husband but because my family is close it is kind of bothering me lol esp since he hasn't had the opportunity to go home for a few years.

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