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Comment by Mollie...Kelcies Mom on September 2, 2010 at 8:53pm

abc....it does warm our hearts to know that there are younger people out there that can give up their perspective. I am one of the lucky ones, who's sailor stays in touch almost daily, but I know that part of the reason is that she's a "she". Guys in general don't tend to keep in as close contact with their moms, so it's nice to have someone voice the fact that even though they don't say it as often, they DO appreciate their moms!!

Comment by abc815 on September 2, 2010 at 3:41pm

so my sailor sent an email (in a stern, yet respectful manner) to his mom telling her how wonderful i am and how happy we are. she needs to accept that if she wants to be a part of our future together. my point is, here is my revelation for the day. my sailor's mom has never once emailed him or mailed him a care package in the 4+ years he's been in the navy...and then i thought about this group. this group of wonderful ladies who are all here because they miss and love their sailors! it may not mean a whole lot coming from me, but every one of your sailors are so lucky to have you all! they may be at a age where it's "easy" to forget to email enough or call enough...but they will truly realize how lucky they are one day. you are all appreciated and it warms my heart!

Comment by abc815 on September 2, 2010 at 1:18am

thank you mollie. you are def. right...it's easier said than done! i guess she saved me the trouble though because our only means of communicating was through facebook and i see that she has blocked me tonight. it would have been nice to have her support. however, i hear so many of the awful things she's done in my sailor's past...and it's very hard for me to let go. my sailor is such a WONDERFUL person who deserves nothing but the best and i can't help feeling some anger towards his mother. either way, thanks to all the ladies for letting me vent here tonight. i am a lot calmer now and will continue on w/ my life in the happiest/healthiest way possible. good night. :)

Comment by Mollie...Kelcies Mom on September 2, 2010 at 1:03am

Hi abc....just my two cents. I have to agree with your conscience (sp?) I think you might be better off taking the high road, and not completely ignoring her emails. Rather, might I suggest that you ignore the CONTENTS of the emails. If you have to.....don't even open them, if they upset you. Just send a reply every week or two, and only share with her that you and your sailor are SO blessed to have such a solid relationship, that even distance has only served to strengthen it. Just focus ENTIRELY on the positive aspects, and TOTALLY ignore her negative comments. Eventually, she will realize that her negativity is being disregarded, and she will be forced to "give it up". I know that this is easier said than done, especially when you are the target, but in the end, you will be able to honestly say to both yourself and your sailor that you took the high road, and honestly did everything you could to have a positive relationship with your soon to be mother in law. That's my two cents.....only you and you alone can make the decision as to how best to handle her. You will do just fine!!

Comment by abc815 on September 1, 2010 at 10:17pm

thank you navy ma. "she has volumes not just issues"...i love that! very well put.

Comment by abc815 on September 1, 2010 at 9:45pm

thank you, vicky. i guess it is possible for everything to work out. without madmouthing anyone, let's just say his mother has alot of issues. i feel bad ignoring the emails because i feel it's so rude. but maybe you're right...it's probably what i need to do. thanks!

Comment by abc815 on September 1, 2010 at 9:33pm

just a short history: we have been together since the beginning of the year. yes, somewhat of a short time. however, i am in my early 30's and know what i want in my life. also, i get over 30 emails from him per month (more than 1 per day) and phone calls once/twice a week while out to sea... also, handwritten letters... maybe it's crazy, but i feel like i know him better than i know people who are physically near me because of the constant communication.

Comment by abc815 on September 1, 2010 at 9:31pm

ladies, i need some advise :( drama is getting stirred up w/ my sailor's mom and since many of you are mother's, i'd love your input. basically, she doesn't see how it is possible to have a "real" relationship when most of it is spent apart. now i am set to marry and move to japan in about 4 months and i don't think she will ever like the idea. the thing is, she abandoned my sailor when he was a child, but has popped up out of nowhere to give us her input. what should i do? her emails to me are full of attitude and assumptions. do i write back in a civil matter or do i not fuel the fire and ignore it? life is already hard enough as it is, but being pushed down and not having my sailor by my side makes it worse. :( sorry ladies and thank you. it's just one of those nights for me...

Comment by DC - G'mother of My Fav Sailor on September 1, 2010 at 11:55am

Hugs, Soccercyn. I know how disappointing it is to go a while without hearing from your Sailor. May he soon be in contact.

Comment by abc815 on September 1, 2010 at 11:19am

don't worry soccercyn27...hopefully he will get a chance soon! ;-)

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