Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

When my husband and I were dating, his shipmates were placing bets on how long we would stay together.  I think the longest anyone gave us was three weeks.  We have been married 29 years! Don't let the idiots get to you.

I have also seen a SR call but the Lady didnt recieve it nor a voicemail. The only way she knew she missed  call was her SR's dad telling her he called him and told him he tried calling. She was upset too :(

MiMi, if your husband already had his account set up at NavyFed and you have his access number then message them online from his account and ask for the form to become a joint account owner or click on the link, fill out the entire thing, and send it back in a message. (https://www.navyfederal.org/pdf/applications-forms/savings-checking...)  My husband leaves in 2 weeks for bootcamp and we made sure to set up his account and that I had access before he goes. Other than when he originally opened the account by phone, I actually became a joint owner on the accounts by messaging online and emailing documents back and forth. They just think it's him since it's his login info. Try that. It only took a few days to complete. Hope that helps some.

Or here is the form to just be an authorized user on the account. https://myaccounts.navyfcu.org/cgi-bin/ifsewwwc?ShowTemplate&te...

NEW MEMBER HELP DESK.

Q&A. Boot Camp Videos, Recruit TC Link, Sample Form Letter, Navy Acronyms & List of PIR GROUPS WITH ACTIVE LINKS. Everyone is welcome.

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Lacylynn just tell him to go talk to admin about the chit or his chief. Of course there are lots of guys that will discourage it, just tell him to make smart decisions about who he is spending his time with. Do not let these fears take over to the point that it creates issues that are not there. Just shake off the negative people bc you will get that a lot of times. Even at my husbands current command their are some single guys that still give married guys shit. Dont let other people come into your relationship like that. Just focus on you! If his instructors arent helping him (This is what happened to my husband!) Have him go above them! Go to admin or his chief! My husbands instructors got in trouble by the chief for messing with him and not telling him the truth.

Mimi I hope you figure something out! Possibly call for any bills you may have and explain there was a problem with your bank accounts and stuff and see if they can possibly give you a grace period or help you out. Sometimes allotments can take time to set up or issues can arise with paychecks. Hope you get ahold of someone!

I know its hard not to get calls when you hear that others have but also there are times when they might have had to go to medical,dental, or had a watch there are a number of things that could have made it where he couldnt call. Keep your chin up!

Skye first off its a common misconception that the Navy or BC changes a person. Honestly it does not. All it does is show their true colors. I am sure given your relationship  and the length of it that is not a huge concern. I see this a lot when girls are with their sailors for a few weeks or months before bc or deployment and its mostly bc they have never been in a situation where their so has been super stressed so they didnt know how they handled stress. If anything he will realize just how improtant you are and how much you help him and support him. I know its very hard to do but I tell new spouses and so's all the time! One BIG issue I see a lot with other girls is that when their sailor is gone they lose confidence in their relationship. One thing you HAVE to remember is no matter if they cannot tell you they still love you. They would give anything to be able to contact you but its not something that is normal... its a luxury to call home. You will literally tear yourself and possibly your relationship apart if you cannot have confidence in yourself and in your love for each other. One of my all time favorite quotes is something that Christopher Robin says to Winnie the Pooh

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”

Deployments will be extremely hard if you cannot remember that he loves you even if you dont hear it. I know its really hard to do especially depending on your love language! (I would certainly suggest googling that and taking the test! you would be surprised what you learn and how that can impact what you are feeling right now) For example, if you are someone that needs verbal assurance to feel loved then since you cannnot hear your sailor say that to you then you are feeling unloved. I would say maybe have him make a recording, leave a voicemail, use one of those cards or teddy bears to make recordings of him telling you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him. Then when you are having a bad day you can listen to that and it might ease your heart a little.

I have to second what Meagan said about being apart from your sailor.  Mine went in and I was really afraid it would change our relationship because we were used to working and living together, knowing all the little details of each other's jobs,etc.  I thought that now he would make friends with people he could relate to, people who had shared the bootcamp experience, knew what a bilge was and I would be left out.  Going to his PIR was nerve wracking because it was almost like a first date again!  He is the exact same person I knew before.  Except, now he says "I love you" a lot more and he makes an effort to show me he appreciates me.  We've just moved to our first duty station, been here about 2 weeks.  It's just like it was before he went in.  I'm sure when he gets deployed next year, it will be a little hard, but we'll make it.  He promised to bring me recipe books from all the countries he goes to (the way to that man's heart was definitely through his stomach!)

I see a lot of us think a like as girlfriends/wives etc.. I have to admit, Im nervous that he may lose feelings for me even though I know that we had an inseparable love before he shipped off to boot camp. Im sitting on the edge of my sitting waiting for PIR, but Im nervous as to how he will react when he sees me. I understand that its only 2 months, but 2 months is a long time to be away from someone when you are use to seeing and being with then everyday, night, and second. WE CAN DO THIS LADIES!!! We have to keep our men interested and show them our love at all time, espically when the only form of communication is writing letters. Distance does not mean that we are single!

One thing to keep in mind, who your Sailor is will be fundamentally the same as who they always were.  That won't change.  Lots of other things will change, but change isn't a bad thing.  We ALL change as life. whether we're a part of the Navy or not.  Think about it - are you the same person you were even a year ago?  The question isn't whether there will be changes in your lives - the question is, are you willing to be open to those changes, and do you trust  your Sailor?  It doesn't matter if there are other women around, or if they are away from you, or if you aren't getting to communicate with them as much as you are used to - if he loves you - then he will love you, and if he is faithful to you, regardless of these things.  (Look at it like this - is him being at boot camp or A school or deployment or whatever going to make YOU stop loving him, or want to cheat with the men that you are around, or forget about him, or anything like that?...) 

I completely understand missing your Sailor, and I get feeling as if your heart has been ripped from your body, leaving a gaping, bloody hole in the middle of your very being when they leave.  I've been there, more times than I want to remember.  But you have to trust them, and you have to trust yourself to be the person that they want to be with.

Otherwise, you will end up making yourself miserable, and you will make your Sailor miserable, and you will end up harming your relationship.  To survive as a Navy couple, you need to have trust in your partner and yourself and your relationship, and confidence in your ability to get through the separations, to have faith that they will remain, in their heart, the person you fell in love with, and the courage to embrace the things that will change.  And to keep a sense of humor about it all - because you never know what's around the corner :-)

Hang in there - cry and get it out, but please, try not to dwell on it.  :-)

Yep, I've shared all the same feelings. I even told my boyfriend in a letter once that I know I am being crazy and I know that he loves me but when I go a long time without hearing it I let my imagination go wild. He told me to quit being dumb. lol

Megan, I sent my boyfriend that quote a week or so ago (:

I just added a discussion on my PPM move.  It's long, but there's a lot of info.  Feel free to message me if you have questions.  This is just the experience we had with moving.  I don't work for the Navy, so consider it my opinion.  (had to add a disclaimer, just in case)

I cant wait till i get my letter tomorrow. I had to move out this week (out of no where) and am so thankful that i was able to talk to him the day after finding out. I was able to tell him personally to send mail to my mothers house. I just hope he gets the city right. Where we live, we have two cities back to back and I live in the one next door. He should know but with all thats going on i hope he remembered. I dont want ANY delay on this letter. He will have read my letters and i know will sound so much happier. I am dying for this letter cause the last three have been so heartbreaking. :( 

i wish all you experienced ladies know how much better i feel and how much my whole attitude has changed since reading all of your comments! : ) thank you all! i was talking to my sailor today and told him about what you girls have been saying and he's sooo glad i joined this website now : ) he said that he could even tell i was feeling better about all of this just by the way i was talking on the phone. i appreciate you helping us clueless girls out!

Hey Angie - Quick question

My brother in law will be graduating boot camp on the 21st. I'm 99% sure his A school will be in Great Lakes, so I was wondering how they usually work that. I know with Nuke school they flew them down to Charleston and then told them to get the heck out of there until January whatever. I was wondering if they do the same up in Great Lakes most years. I thought maybe they'd have him check in and then tell him to get lost for the rest of standdown. Is that how it usually works or do they make them hang around?

Thanks for any information and any experience with previous years. :)

Hey ladies, I have a question for any of you who've already been through the bootcamp stages more specifically, any of you who've had a boyfriend stay in Great Lakes for ATT or A school. I understand that after PIR, he will have to move his things over to his A school, and then he'll be able to have liberty. My concern is, on Saturday his dad is leaving, and I've heard you have to sign them out for liberty, so can a girlfriend sign them out for PIR weekend?? I know that when he's in the early stages of A school that only a spouse or immediate family member can sign them out/in, but I was wondering if the same rule applies for PIR weekend...?

MiMi, I asked my husband, and he said that yes, there is a way for him to fax stuff to you, but it's not something you can initiate - he has to from his end, with permission from his company commanders.  He strongly suggested that you contact the Chaplain at Great Lakes, they should be able to help you.  (In the Navy, the Chaplain handles a lot more than religious needs, this is one of the things they can help you with.  If  you explain your situation to them, they should hopefully be able to contact your Sailor's specific company and hopefully get permission for him to get the paperwork you need to you. 

MiMi,

I just looked it up.  Here's the link I found.  Once he gets out of Boot Camp, the Chaplains office can help you with this sort of thing, but it looks like as long as he's an enlisted recruit, the Chaplain's office has to take more of a back seat.  BUT - the link here has phone numbers and stuff that you can call that should be able to help you.  (Scroll to the bottom of the page, there are more numbers there in the small print.)

http://www1.netc.navy.mil/nstc/chaplain/chaplain_welcome.asp

If that doesn't work, I don't know if you have a power of attorney or not, but you can also check with the bank to see if they will accept that, or possibly see if Navy Marine Corps Relief can help.  (I don't know if they help Sailors / families in boot camp or not, and I'm pretty sure you have to have a power of attorney, but it would be worth looking into.  If you are eligible for assistance with them already, you can get no interest loans in an emergency, so they might be able to help with the rent until you get this straight.)

If that doesn't work, you could mail him the forms, then have him sign them and mail them back to you.  (He might have to go in and talk to his company commander about it, and see if they would let him fax them to you.  Yes, he will "get in trouble" - but to be honest, it's NOT going to be trouble that will carry over past boot camp.  They will yell at him, and maybe make him do some push ups, but the thing is, they are going to do that anyway - it's boot camp...)

I'm really sorry, like I said, any other command (including A schools) once he's out of boot camp, the Chaplains Office is able to help you.  But try those links and see if they help!

My boyfriend called me on Thursady and it was the best 19 second called I could have ever ask for, his words were.... "I just want to let you no that I love you more than ever right now and Im okay, you will be recieving a letter in a few weeks from me, ok gotta go, bye" Those words said it all!

Just wanted to thank all the ladies on here that helped me a few weeks ago, when my boyfriend had just left for boot camp. I just got his first letter, everyone on here was totally right. He just keeps saying he didn't know he could love me as much as he did, and he misses everything about me. Yay! Thanks again!

Does the SR get to choose the address that goes on the box they send home when they first arrive at boot camp or does it go to some address on file? I've heard different things from different people. I'm just concerned because I haven't received it and we have moved a lot lately. They may have had the wrong address for him on file. He wrote down our newest address before he left but he didn't know it by heard. I don't know if he would have been able to look at what he wrote down when he was filling out the address.

They pick the address they mail it to.  Our son had our address on all his paperwork, but he sent his box to his grandparents.  (Otherwise, he would have had to do a customs form and stuff for it because we were still overseas, so we all thought his grandparents would be easier lol.)

I don't know if he would be allowed to read it off a card or not. 

Ok thanks everyone!

I'm baaaaack ....

Karen!! def have him get down to finance!! Yes they should backpay but like others have said the Navy isnt going to be up on top of things like this. Now they will jump on any money you owe them. But he needs to go down to finance asap or ask a chief to help him out with making sure his paperwork is right and making sure you are on his page two as well!!

Welcome back Anti M :)

Well, after kissing my boyfriend goodbye July 1st, I received a facetime call from him last week!  It was my first time seeing his face since July! The look on his face was so priceless!  He's so handsome, and he was so happy to see me!  Might I add he's been working out and is SO SEXY!  I hope all of you have been able to see your boyfriend/fiance/spouse.  It's such a great feeling to see someone you love.  Our relationships are unique.  I'm just SO HAPPY!!

Hey Anti M:)

Hi!  

kvece - He will get paid BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) based on the zip code where his dependents reside.  It will probably take a few months to kick in after you're married, I've heard/read a lot of wives mention that.  Once you know his duty station, you can look up the amount.  There are calculators online, just google them.  BAH is supposed to cover housing costs and it changes based on the market of the area.  We moved from Rockford, IL (hometown) to San Diego and it more than doubled.  The amounts seem to be pretty close, in our hometown it covered our mortgage almost to the dollar.  And here in San Diego, it seems to be right on par with the market, but I haven't explored it too much.  We're in privatized military housing, so the BAH just goes to the company, but they cover the cost of the home based on family size and paygrade, and all utilities (except phone and luxuries like cable/internet/satellite).  I really like the housing so far.  Feel free to PM me for any questions.  And Congrats and your little one!!

http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm