Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Jenn my husband was on the Lincoln during this last deployment and they were told if their family went home they would have to switch their BAH to wherever they were living during deployment or it was BAH fraud. They also did a change of homeport where the BAH was less at the new homeport than the old and they told everyone they would possibly ask for leases to see when they moved and would take back any extra BAH. We were told certain ships are considered unusually arduous sea duty which allows for the changing of BAH when the service member deploys. I would def check that out because you dont want to get that all taken back if they find out you moved. I have heard of that happening to someone from my husbands command actually. They got told it was getting taken back since they moved home during deployment and didnt know they had to change it.

Hi girls,

My boyfriend is about to get deployed overseas in June for a year. We were thinking about getting married but some co-workers told him that his orders might get cancelled if he gets married. Is it true? I have been looking for answers all over the internet and could not find anything.. 

I am not able to go with him so family orders (accompanied) are not an option for us.

I also answered over on the forums, but no, his orders will not be changed.  Of it were that easy, anyone who didn't want to deploy overseas would just get married. Were is he going for just one year?  Sounds like Diego Garcia or other isolated duty, or a squadron.

He is going to Bahrein.. 

Thank you for the answer. I truly hope that is true

It is true.  I'm prior Navy, so I wouldn't bullshit you to make you feel better.  Married sailors go unaccompanied all the time.  

Are his "co-workers" other sailors in A school?  If so, they're badly misinformed. Which is not unusual.

Contact the Fleet and Family Support Center and ask to speak to the Family Employment Program Manager.  Their number is: 850-452-2155 / 850-452-2155

They should be able to tell you about local employment resources and help you target your resume to the jobs that interest you.  Another great resource is Indeed:

http://www.indeed.com/

Just plug in your preferred job title and the city; the site searches all available job boards including company websites, local newspapers, and governement jobs.

Good luck! 

@jph... why is that? My husband is also going there for A school .

Volunteering is an awesome way to go.  That is what I did while we were in Great Lakes.  I highly recommend volunteering for the Navy Marine Corp Relief Society.  It is a fantastic organization, you will meet wonderful people, and will learn a ton.  And there is a branch at every base so you can continue to volunteer when you move to a new command.

You can also ask to speak with the Volunteer Coordinator at the Fleet and Family Support Center (every center has one!) They can connect you with local agencies.

I am sure I sound like a broken record, but I worked at an FFSC for ten years while my husband was on active duty.  I had no idea how much they did until I started working there!

Three day liberty? Most likely. Training commands get federal holidays off (unless he gets stuck on duty that day).

Overnight liberty? Definitely wouldn't count on it. Depends on what school, but if they just got there, it's probably not likely.

Hi ladies! I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask this question, but I thought I'd give it a shot. My husband is currently in boot camp and is going to Pensacola, FL for A school. His A school (CTN) is long enough to permit him to move in with me after he's gotten his chit. I've secured an apartment we both agreed on in the area, but I have yet to sign the lease agreement. I was wondering if I need to wait for his command to approve the lease or not. It does contain a military clause, which I'm assuming is what they're looking for, but I'm not sure if that's all they want. Thank you so much!

Hello Friends :) I am currently in AZ but I really want to move back to CA (where my family is) while my husband is away in RTC. Does my husband have to let his recruiter know about this since housing allowance is different in CA or will we still get AZ housing allowance rate? I hope this makes since. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you <3

I knew they didnt have to approve leases. I was just wondering about the housing pay part because they have our housing rate set by the allowance in AZ...so I wanted to move to CA with my kiddos and just wanted to know if our BAH allowance rate would be affected. I am completely confused by alot of this stuff LOL. I'm sure I am not the only one. :) Thank you for your response Angie :)) that was really sweet of you to reply <3

Got it. Thank you for the help Angie! You are so awesome :)

Thank you for your answer Angie. It is much appreciated.

hello everybody, my fiance just graduated navy boot camp last weekend. it was so great to get to see him again. he is now down in texas till april. i was wondering if anyone on here could help me with wedding advise. i have no idea what to do. i want to be able to follow him on his first tour and to do that we have to be married before he gets his next orders (have no idea when that is). any advise?!?!

meling - plan a trip to Texas and get married as soon as you can.  Research for the county he's in what the marriage requirements are and make sure to bring everything.  If you want the whole white dress wedding thing, plan to have that later when you know where you'll end up.  That's the most expedient way to do it if your goal is to be able to move to his first duty station with him. 

One thing to also consider while you're planning your trip is his phases.  He'll be require to go back to base every night while he's in phase 1 and 2, so you may want to wait until he's phase 3 to get married, so you don't have to spend your wedding night alone.  But it's really a matter of personal choice for you two.  If it will take too long to get to phase 3, it may be more important to get the married thing done before orders are cut.  It took my hubby (at great lakes A School) 12 days to get to phase 2 and then its 4 weeks to get to phase 3.  He'll have to find out what the time frame is there, each school can be different.  Best of luck!!

thank you so much!!! do you know how many people are able to come and watch. my mom and his parents want to come.

meling - watch you get married?  I think that would depend on the court/justice of the peace's rules.  We got married in IL and it was him and me, our parents, siblings and grandparents, plus our kids (my 9 year old from a previous marriage and our then-3 month old).  You can look up the base's address, then find out what county it is, and from there search for "marriage license" and "justice of the peace" type search terms with the county name.  A lot of them have the rules and requirements posted online, and they can vary quite a bit, even over a few years in the same jurisdiction.  If you need more info, call them, you'll get the most accurate info about the wedding stuff from them. 

One other thing, I forgot to mention.  It's likely he'll have to get "permission" to marry.  This also varies school to school, but he'll probably have to fill out a chit and get his chain of command to sign off on it.  He should start working on that and his phases as soon as possible.  You can do a lot of the legwork for the wedding itself and planning your trip, but only he can do the stuff with the Navy. 

In case it got buried... they receive their orders toward the end of A school.  Usually.  For short schools, it would be toward the middle, very long schools, sometimes after!  But the key is you need to be legally married and recorded as a dependent in time for the detailer, who issues orders, to get the proper form before cutting orders.  When orders are issued they include the option of moving a dependent (accompanied) or not (unaccompanied).  Now married sailors can get unaccompanied orders, but that isn't usual.  The lead time is often stated as four weeks minimum, but that isn't hard and fast.  

He needs to put in a special request chit ASAP.  Find out if his school requires classes or counseling for him.  Some do.  This is also a way for him to get the info he needs for dependent allowances and benefits.  

thanks everyone for the help. i will have him get everything started when i talk to him tonight. :)

thanks is a chit hard to get. i plan on going down there at the end of this month and would love to just do the wedding then.

It takes a couple weeks to get a chit signed as there are a number of people in the chain who need to review and approve it. Not just one person.  

The end of February?  Hmmm.  What phase of liberty has he earned?  

he will be in phase two then.

Hey all! I hope everyone had a really sweet Valentine day <3 I wanted to know if anyone has children and had children when their hubby/wifey/bf/gf was joining the Navy. My questions for you ladies or gents out there is what was your journey like during RTC, A&C school, and getting stationed? How did your kiddos take it? Let me know. :) Thanks a bunches!

Good Evening Ladies! I am looking for some help...

My husband will be on temporary duty in San Diego starting around May for at least 6 months while he completes clinical work in the hospital. Currently we live in San Antonio where he is finishing up C school. I have already made the move from Los Angeles to San Antonio and am excited to get back to Southern California! But, I have no idea where to start looking for housing!

If he is on temporary orders would we still be able to live on base? Although, I am not sure thats what we want to do. Does on base housing take all of the BAH?

Anyone have suggestions for off base housing? Or even a realtor who works with rental properties? We would prefer not to live in an apartment, but aren't totally set on that.

Also, is there anyone on here that has a sailor who is a Radiology Tech? I would just like to know what your experiences were with the clinicals. We have no idea what is going to happen once he is finished with the classroom part of the course. like what his schedule will be like, how long they will give us to move, and where he will actually be working.

Shahida -

When I met my husband, we were both Navy, so our kids weren't born until after boot camp. But we did raise them through several TAD trips (some of them C schools between duty stations), multiple deployments, and tons of moves. They're now 18 (almost 19, and in college) and just turned 20 (Active Duty Navy like his dad).

So, they aren't little anymore, but I do know what it's like, if you have any questions or concerns :-)

Britt -

There are a lot of variables that affect the answers... Is his orders accompanied? The reason I ask is even though he is expected to be there at least 6 months, if that time includes "hold" time, then it doesn't "count" towards the 6 months to be accompanied. If the program itself is not that long, then you will not be able to get housing.

If you are on accompanied orders, your best bet will be to call the housing office there and ask them about your situation. Most of the housing Stateside has gone to PPV, and they really prefer (and usually require) a year lease. The catch, of course, is they have to let you out of it if you get orders. Talk to them and see what they suggest.

If you do live in housing, then yes, they take your full BAH. This covers rent, trash, and utilities, other than phone, internet, and cable. Some places will charge you for certain utilities, but if they do, then you get a portion of your BAH to apply towards it. (Some places, like where we are, covers your utilities, but if you go so far over or under the average usage you get billed or refunded the difference.)

Really, your best bet would be to call the housing office where you're going and talk to them.

Good luck!

Britt - the "base housing" here in San Diego is Lincoln Military housing.  They require a 6 month lease and all utilities are included.  Some properties do not take all your BAH.  You can see the properties available here:  Enlisted Wait Times  This page lists all the estimated wait times for enlisted personnel housing, but as a bonus, they also list the amount of rent.  Bayview Hills, for instance, is $1600/month.  BAH is nearly $2000/month for junior enlisted.  If you look here:  Lincoln Military Housing - San Diego you'll see several links that will be super helpful.  We really like the housing here, if you have questions, feel free to PM me.  

Oh yeah, you can use the HEAT website to get info on the housing, even if you don't have orders yet.  I used it and it went really well.  He got his orders like 3 weeks before we had to move, and we had a house the day we got here. NAVY - HEAT

@sailorwifenmom: I will message you :) Thank you!

Got your friend request, nice to meet you!

It is nice to meet you too and thank you for the reach out! I appreciate it truly :)

hello everyone :)

Hi ladies, does anyone know how the paternity leave works while they are in A school? Does he have to put in a notice ahead of time to get the days off or do they give it to him once I'm in the hospital? 

Its not a for sure thing. He will need to request it, he wont be able to just tell them when he needs to leave and take off. but from what I have heard and seen with friends if he is actually in classes he will not get it unless there is a medical emergency. I know someone that did have to leave for medical reasons and when he went back he had to start over in his school. Idk if it was because he was gone for quite a bit of time or if thats the rule. They have a year after the little one is born to take it from what I know.

Things like that depend on which school he's at. 

I have heard of cases down in Charleston that they sometimes have the option to take the paternity leave right away and pick up where they left off in a new class (they start classes every two weeks there, so they'd just roll back into the next class) or they could wait until after A school and take it inbetween A and Power school. 

He'll definitely have to request it and it is not guaranteed that he'll be able to start it the day you give birth. Definitely have him give his LPO/Chief updates as to your due date and/or if you're scheduled to be induced and/or C section date. A lot of times they'll do what they can with the time given, but if he waits until after you've given birth to even mention that he's going to want to take the leave, they may not be able to do a lot. 

He needs to ask if his training command authorizes paternity leave.  ASAP!!!!   Paternity leave is not for the birth, it is for ten days within one year of the birth IF it fits into the command's needs.  If he misses class, he may have to begin A school over, or wait for the next class to hit the section he was in. This is why paternity leave is generally not authorized for student sailors.

Charleston is nuke school, they're the most generous with the policy.  

What is more likely to happen is they'll probably give him a day or two off when you give birth, then add the paternity leave to his regular leave after A school.  He needs to ask ask now so you can plan.

does anyone have any advise on what cell phone company to go with?? we have us cellular now and it is horrible for reception. we are always loosing eachothers calls.

I have verizon and love it. I typically always have signal. Its a little pricey but actually I was paying more for tmobile and had dropped calls all the time, I would go days without cell phone service because their "system" was down. My phone was messed up but they wouldnt fix it. It was a horrible experience. In 6 months they overcharged us $360 and I had to fight to get it back. So in a nutshell I would stay away from them. lol

We also use Verizon.  Reliable.  Pricey.  But we can make calls where no one else can.

Verizon has always been good to me. And in the major cities, it pretty much works everywhere. The only places I'm really without service is if I'm in a basement/brick building, or in a super small town somewhere that their cell towers don't reach (I only know of two of these dead spots). 

They do like a 20% military discount, so if you go with them, definitely ask for that.

thanks everyone for the help :) verizon it is!!!

Be careful with your boyfriends/fiances/husbands because there are dog tag chasers on Facebook!!!! They try to friend as many military men on their account and they have pictures in which they are half naked. You girls know what they want so don't let them ruin your relationships!!

What's sad is a portion of the chasers aren't even female and are using fake FB pages.  Sick and sad.  So wrong.  

Exactly!!! A few days ago one of them added my boyfriend and I went to her page and all of her "friends" were military men and her pictures were of her "modeling". Its just obscene what some people do for attention!