A Son Growing Up...A Mom Letting Go...Give Them Wings

[Lynne]

"Hey Mom, I want to join the Navy."

"You want to what, with whom, hello, why?

And with those words the roller coaster began, my life turned upside down and my little boy, my only child who I had raised by myself began to grow up. At first, all I could do was cry. He was my only son, an only grandchild. My father had given his life for our country and I thought, "Dear God, not my son." I was convinced he was making the wrong decision and he was convinced he was making the right one. All the things I had taught him about doing the right thing even when pressured by other people was suddenly coming back to haunt me. He looked at me and said, "Mom, you taught me to think for myself. You held me accountable. You told me I had to do what was right, what was in my heart. You said choosing a career that would make me happy was more important than how much money I make or the prestige that I earn. You said God would be my guide and I think this is what he wants me to do."

As I listened to him and the tears poured down my face I thought, "what was I thinking teaching him that" and then I remembered it was that same strength that made him choose not to party in high school, it was that same strength that made him follow his own road rather than seek out trouble or react with violence when angry. It made him speak him speak his mind and have confidence. So, the next day he signed his papers.

After talking with the recruiter he came home a little sad and said it might be a year until he could go to boot camp. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought that would give me a lot of time to get used to the idea and maybe even secretly hoped my son would have second thoughts ( well you can't blame a mom for hoping). I struggled with how to tell my friends and family. You see, it was okay for anyone else to join, I just didn't want to give up son when I had given my dad. I knew my family was going to erupt because they remembered my pain and their own. I was only 10 when my dad died but forty years later it still feels like yesterday. My son has tried to assure me, as has his recuiter that he will safe, but a mom worries as you know.

After signing his papers the very next week he went to MEPS and scored high on all his tests. His recruiter was so happy. My son was estatic. He had called when he got to MEPS and said that many of the young people had studied for the ABSVAM (sp) and he worried about that. He was labeled QNJ which I guess means Qualified But No Job and sent home to wait. Whew I thought I can deal with this waiting, he can go to school and life will go on.

However that was not to be. The very next week he was sent back to MEPS as some jobs had come out. He wanted to be a fireman because he is only a few hours short of firefighting but due to his high scores the navy had other ideas and he was given an AE job and scheduled for Boot Camp in September. "September of 2011" I said to him when he called. "Weeeeelllll, um actually, no mom, this year?" Once again, up the roller coaster and down again - yes the long wait was simply a fallacy...somehow he is going in September to boot camp with something called Cardinal Company, which I think just basically means he is being sworn in at a St.Louis Cardinals Baseball Game in St. Louis. What happened to the long wait that was going to gradually give me the time to get used to this? I guess the Navy happened.

My life now seems to be filled with salutes, pushups and funny stories about moving the wrong foot, turning the thumb a different way, and memorization of creeds and other information. As he started memorizing all kinds of things so he wouldn't have to do it under pressure at boot camp he said maybe he shouldn't learn it all because the recruiter said he could get in trouble if he knows too much. So like the good mom I am, I explained that just because he knows it doesn't mean he has to volunteer and raise his hand when someone asks the first time who knows it. He looked at me nodded his head and said "you know mom you're pretty smart."

I am going to miss my son. I don't know if I am ready for him to suddenly become such a mature young man like I know boot camp will make him. But, I know this that regardless of my fears and my sadness I will support him 100%. I will tease him, I will laugh with him but when he swears in and gets on that bus he will know he is leaving behind a Navy strong mom reporting for duty.

Lynne

[Lynne]

I can't believe I am going to respond to my own blog. When I wrote this, while I sounded brave I was almost positive I couldn't do it. Here I am three weeks into boot camp and waiting for what I hope will be my first real letter. With the help of Jessica from Boot Camp for Moms, I formed the 11/5 PIR group and we are already 80 strong. We are laughing, crying, venting, and most importantly we are surviving. Each of us are unique and wonderfully differently and yet incredibly similar. We all have one goal in common, insuring our recruit does their very best at boot camp with our support and encouragement. Oh yes, there will be hiccups along the way, but for the first I believe I will survive and so will our group. To the PIR groups who go before us be safe and celebrate. To those who come after us...you too will survive even when it feels like you may not! After all we NAVY MOMS, FAMILY, SPOUSES, FRIENDS, AND SIGNIFICANT OTHERS PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR!! To each person who has been there at some point in this journey whether we interacted for a time or continually thank you!