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Finally - "Box" arrived - safe, smelly and sound :)
Well, the day arrived...the one I've read about, looked forward to, and yes, even dreaded. My oldest son called me at work to let me know that there was a box from my youngest son. He told me he put it in the living room and asked me if I wanted him there when I opened it, "in case I freaked out". I laughed and told him no, I would be fine. And then the craziness in my head started LOL Would I be happy, like so many mom's have been...would I be sad, also like so many mom's have been...would they smell? Yes, I hate smelly things LOL
My husband picked me up from work and he couldn't drive home fast enough. Of course, its L.A. and there is L.A. traffic so it seemed like it took FOREVER. Well I practically jumped out of the car and ran into the house. There it was...a lone box in the living room. It was smaller than I expected, but the funny thing is I don't know WHY I expected it to be larger. All my son took with him were the clothes on his back, a small backpack (if you can call it that) that the recruiter gave him, and his phone. So honestly, I knew what would be in there. It's not like there would be any surprises. My fear was actually that he probably forgot to pull out the form he needed to set up his direct deposit for his bank here at home. And that was the very first thing I grabbed - the packet of info I sent with him. And the paper was gone! YAY - he remembered to take it out. Also missing was his wallet so he remembered to keep that with him as well.
The next thing I took out was the backpack - in it was a notebook, also from the recruiter and the card and letter I had sent with him to read on the plane. It was here that I was able to tell him how proud I was (without bursting into tears every time) and how much I love him and how he could do this! At first my heart stopped because it didn't even look opened and I started to cry, thinking he never got to know all the things I wanted him to remember in those hours before everything would change for him. But as I turned it over, I saw that it had indeed been opened and read. Mission Accomplished :)
Then came the clothes...I pulled out his sweatshirt and I must admit, I wanted to hold it close to my face and just hug it...and so I did...holding my breath the whole time LOL! After a few moments, I breathed in and it didn't smell bad....didn't even really smell like him. He didn't have any of his regular toiletries with him, just a small travel pack we picked up at the base before he left. That wasn't in there so he either left in the hotel, or tossed at BC. Next I pulled out his jeans...his shirt, his shoes...I left his socks and underwear in there LOL. I didn't see his phone so I checked his pockets of his jeans and there it was, his small black iPhone with the cracked face. And I lost it...I hugged his PHONE! I then realized, he wasn't attached to his clothes...but he certainly was to his phone. How hard it must have been for him to let this go, to put this in his jeans and then in the box. This was his last lifeline to his family, his friends, the photos, the texts, the emails. Now he was truly on his own and alone. This is why I lost it. I was now the safekeeper of his treasure. I carry it with me every day, along with the silly little wallet he made and gave to me before he left.
I'm fine this morning, having a good laugh at myself, and hope every one else will too. These are the moments that define us, and our children. They teach us what we are made of, and what we CAN do when we have to and I CAN do this.
Views: 66
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Comment by DisneyDebi (02/903) on October 11, 2011 at 1:16pm
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@Judy r - thank you, and I'm not keeping a journal per se, just the stuff I write here and the letters I write to him.
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@ BR549 - SO TRUE - I had all these preconceived notions of how it would be, based on everyone elses comments of how it was for them, and while some of it was the same, the missing, the longing, the worry, it wasn't as sad as I expected. We all react differently - that's what is so great about this website...we all do this separately, together...
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Comment by shannonlee123 on October 12, 2011 at 9:15pm
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I was touched by everyone's stories and encouragement.!
Debi -
The cell phone got to me too! Why I don't really understand but I guess that was something he always had with him and must have been difficult to let go. I enjoyed reading your story very much. I sleep with my son's pillow (it smells better than the clothes that came home in the box, I'm just sayin'?!)
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