Is going crazy...

[SailorsWife'10]

My husband and I just got married in September and soon after he was shipped away to basic training. I've barely heard from him and when I do it feels like I'm more heart broken than when I haven't heard from him. I'm trying so hard to be supportive but I feel like I'm the wife lost and forgotten at home while he's out doing a new adventure. I know in my head and in my heart that he loves me and is doing this more for me and our family in the future, but I can't help but feel what I do. Is there anyone else out there that feels the same as me? I'm looking for some type of guidance to help me deal with my feelings.

 

My husband is Ship 09 Div 071, anyone have a loved one there?

[SailorsWife'10]

I've already watched dozens of videos of boot camp, and I know that their working him very hard. I mean I'm not dumb or anything, I just feel lost and need some guidance. Everyone says to support your sailor and I do that 100% but who's supporting me? That's why I joined this group, hoping to find other women like me and talk about the struggles we're going through...

[BunkerQB]

Here some reading material - in case you can't sleep! :)

For wives, fiancees and girlfriends, I got the following list from Navy Aunt (AF Wife):

1. Married To The Military:A Survival Guide for Military Wives, girlfriends, and Women In Uniform. by Meredith Leyva,

2. Hope For The Home Front by Marshe'le Carter Waddell (her husband was a Navy Seal),Military 101 (Fiction) by Tynisa Gaines

3. 365 Deployment Days A Wife's Survival Story by Sara Dawalt

4. Home Fires Burning by Karen Houppert, That Military House- Move It, Organize It, And Decorate It. by Sandee Payne

5. Life After Deployment- Reunion Stories/Advice by Karen M Pavlicin, Spouses Also Serve by Tiffany A Booker

6. Today's Military Wife-Meeting the Challenges Of Service Life by Lydia Sloan Cline,The Treasure of Staying Connected for Military Couples by Janel Lange

7. The Complete Idiot's Guide to LIfe as a Military Spouse by Lissa McGrath, Surviving Deployment by Karen M Pavlicin

8. The Mocha Manual to Military Life by Kimberly Seals_Allers with Pamela M. McBride

9. Separated By Duty, United in Love- A Guide to Long Distance Relationships For Military Couples by Shellie Vandervoerde

10. When Johnny/Joanie Comes Marching Home by The Revernd Dr. Lester L. Westling, Jr.(USN)

11. Military Spouse's Complete Guide To Career Success- Finding Meaningful Employment in Today's Global Workplace by Janet I Farley

12. How to Survive A Move edited by Jamie Allen and Kazz Regelman

13. Jobs and the MIlitary Spouse- Married, Mobile and Motivated for Employment by Janet I Farley

14. A Year of Absence-6 women's stories of courage, hope and love by Jessica Redmond

15. They Also Serve Who Sit and Wait by John Milton

For moms:

1. Honor, Courage and Commitment by J. F. Leahy

2. Eagles Invades The Nest by R. Lynn Green (for moms)

[BunkerQB]

Denise could not have said it better. Don't go looking for problems. If your family or girlfriends are feeding sh!t to you, cut them off. He is probably trying not to miss you (or at least show you that he does) because if he thinks about it (how much he really misses you), then he might not make it. The fact that he wants to do this to provide a better future for the two of you speaks a lot about what a good guy he is. Stay away from people who make you feel sorry for yourself. I find there are always plenty of folks out there just waiting for you to fail. In fact, it makes them feel better about themselves, if you do fail. Some other things you can do to ensure you have a better future together 1) if you never been good at figuring out a budget, then this is a good time to learn some money management skills - it'll come in handy - with him going out on deployments 2) learn a bunch of "how tos" such as cooking, sewing (for repairs), household chores - if you are organized and can get this stuff done easily - you'll save yourself a lot of misery later. Know how your basic household system works - plumbing, electrical stuff 3) take a class (or two) - especially if you would like to work part-time or full-time - learn computer skills (MS Word, Excel, social networking, websites - internet related stuff) - brush up on your English writings skills. In no time, you will see him at PIR and you will glow with proud and joy.
Stay strong. Stay positive. Stay committed.

[SailorsWife'10]

Thank you ladies.

 

His grad date is February 11th and I will definitely look for that group! Thank you!

[SailorsWife'10]

Thank you, I'm on it already though lol.

[RenoMom (Ship 03 Div 080)]

I really liked the idea of you pursing your own adventure while he is gone.  Are you in school?  If no, perhaps you could look into taking some classes.  Or perhaps you could volunteer at your local VA and help out some of your local Vets?  I understand how lonely it can be, but this is just the start of your lives together.  There will be times when he is gone and it is really important that you develop your own identity.  Good luck to you and hang in there.  :-)

[SailorsWife'10]

No I'm not in school, but I am working. I want to wait until we're stationed somewhere before I start school, because everything is just so hectic here! Thanks for your support. :)

[BunkerQB]

Hey - you sound better already!

[SailorsWife'10]

Lol thanks, that's because I got a letter from him!!