Not going to VA cuz we're over :(

[Christina]

Well he called it off...I'm so upset right now...but at the sametime I understand. I just can't believe he left me. He would ahve never left if he didn't leave for the fucking Navy...sorry. I never say things like that but I lost someone who I've known for years and who I love so much...it's not fair...but nothings fair in life. I wanted to try and make things work...but it was too much for him. The Navy changed who he was...he is a better man and I love everything thing about him...but the one thing the Navy took away was his freedom and his confidence. I'm just really sad and can't stop crying and when I do I just end up crying like I'm retarded. I have no idea what to do anymore. I told him I'm still here to support him...but I just, itjust feels so empty right now. Feels like someone ripped something out of me. I wish the Navy didn't make him so indecisive becuase he was never like that...then he wasn't sure of anything cuz of the Navy. I just want to see him and it's been a month since I've saw him. Now Idk if I'll ever see him again...I miss him so much and I can't tell him that cuz I'm trying to get over him and give him space but I'm not use to this at all. :( I need help and some encouraging advice even though I've heard alot of things and I know that I'm young and things will get better. But I'm 23 and I thought he was the love of my life...still think he is cuz he's the guy I want and is what I love. We connect so well...he even said so...but it's too much for him and he thinks I deserve better. He thinks he's making another mistake for letting me go. His first was joining the Navy he said...he wish he would have talked about it more with someone.I'm torn and heartbroken and in alot of pain. I need help right now...I jsut want things to be the way they were before :( But I know if things were meant to be then they were...but god damn...I was always looking forward to seeing him and such...still do but Idk if he wants to see me now and Idk...feels like I lost my best friend, my other half, and idk if I'll ever see him...

[proudmama ship10 div267]

Christina, the military in general does weird things to people on both ends yours and his.He may be doing this cause he feels like it's not fair for you to wait for him.If this is truely meant to be it will all work out in the end.If you  do love him and want to be with him them write him a letter and tell him so.Calm down!!!I started going out with my husband when I was 13 and he was 15 and when he was 18 he went into the airforce and after about a year I broke up with him.Obviously everything worked out cause now were married almost 20 yrs and our oldest son is in the navy.Everything happens for a reason,I don't know what the reason is but hang in there and communicate your feelings.Take care and I hope things get better for you!

[BunkerQB]

Sometimes a break is OK. My son went in after college. His gf was none too pleased. He make a decision for his career. 5 years later. It looks like they have weathered the storm. They are very happy together.

[USS PEARL HARBOR SAM'S MOM]

Hang in there.  Remember, "what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." and, absence makes the heart grow fonder!!  Pam

[TexasMomof2]

Paula, excellent post.....while there's always a possibility of getting back together, the assumption should not be there.  You're a beautiful, smart young woman......may not feel so right now, but you are.   While you say your love for him is very strong, and though this may sound painful, we can never make someone else feel or reciprocate the way we do.  If that's the case, realize it's not YOU, it's just not meant to be.   Take what you've learned about yourself, about love....and work on building your life, without him.  You just might be surprised what you find.  These 2 years he's been gone have been spent on the attempts to have a long-distance relationship.  Very difficult to do.  I'm sure these 2 years have been stressful for you.  And for him.  And he IS being honest......he could keep stringing you along like a lot of guys do.  Soooo, take a deep breath, look around you and see what an awesome young lady you are.......this too shall pass.  :o)  Be kind with yourself.

[Christina]

Thanks everyone. I wrote that as if it had happened. I was upset, feelings of confusion, sadness and even angry. But it was all in the moment and I still haven't settled it in. We are mutual and always here for each other. We can throw away what he had...friendship. We've known each other for too long to do that, and the Navy or what we had in our relationship isn't going to take that away. I was just so sad and yeah I wish we were together, but I know what he was saying was true because I could see it was tearing him apart. I had thoughts too where letting him go would be easier for him, don't like the word "easier" because it's not because of what we feel for each other and it's not easy for breaking up with someone whom you dated for about 5 years, but by easier, I mean less stress, kinda, and he wouldn't be lying to himself that it's working. He and I still talk and he's still upset and feels so bad. But now I'm looking on the bright side. For some reason I feel like things will work out for him and I...even if we're not together. I have no idea.lol. I really wish we could be together because we connect so well and everythings just great even when we have are disagreements it's still perfect with him, but I know I'm young...it's jsut we both knew we wanted each other. But he just can't handle the distance and not being here for me like he feels like he should. He told me this. He also said it was hard and I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he's alone alot and feels alone because he doesn't know anyone and he misses his friends and family and especially his best friend...me.lol. He and I are the bestest friends ever and I'm in college too. My first few years away was hard but he was so positive and such through them...now it's the other way around...and it's harder on him and I'm doing my best and we've hit some bums and such, but this time we didn't make it, but it's so different and unlike him I'm closer to home and have friends around, while him..he doesn't. I feel so bad and wish things were easier on him and any other military person...but guess that's the price you pay when you join. I still love him, and I will always have a place for him in my heart. We've been there for each other when we needed it and he needs it the most and I'm still here for him, I mean I am his best friend.lol. We still talk and are mutual about it, although he told me he misses me and such and doesn't like the decision he made, but he said he wants me happy and such. And trust me, I'm doing what I want and I am independent, haven't bought my car yet though, been saving for years because my parents never bought me a car in HS and such, but other than that I left my home town for college and did my thing.lol. I know what you mean though. I was jsut so sad at the time. But I'm doing better and staying positive and actually helping him out because he needs that more than I do since he doesn't have the support near him like I do. Can't be selfish, even though I am at times...but when it comes to love, it has a mind of it's own and gotta let it do it's thing. Who knows, may get back together, but like you said, assumption shouldn't be there. I know thigns will work out...just in the mean time...it's going to be hard to get over someone like him because even with his flaws, he was perfect to me and the one who understood me the best and my best friend for the longest time.