What to do if/when your son/daughter gets deployed

[Debby]

So after spending the entire day fighting with Navy Federal.. (and I sent them my copy of the Power of Attorney)... I thought maybe those of us who have dealt and are dealing with our childrens affairs while either out on a ship or in Iraq or Afganistan can list the do's don'ts and helpers for those who may face this one day.

So I will start with a couple and maybe others can add.

1) Get a power of attorney (can be easily obtained on base)
2) get a complete list of creditors/account numbers/banks etc.
3) Set up direct pay via their checking account if available.. (life saver since some financial places tend to be very unhelpful even with #1)


Anyone else like to add?

Debby

[Brenda Sue]

Someone has suggested getting yourself a passport, in case you have to get to your child in an emergency!!

[Debby]

Awesome I never thought of that.. my husband says go do it... especially since soon I will have 2 in Iraq..

Thanks Brenda Sue!!!

[Anti M]

I had trouble with my hometown bank when I was active duty ... I closed that account out and consolidated my pay into Navy Fed exclusively. That was in the Dark Ages before the internet, but if a bank isn't used to dealing with the military, they can get ... unhelpful. In these days of online banking and direct deposit/direct bill pay, it is all far easier.

Also, if your sailor will be deployed, they can't always access the internet in a timely manner. If they trust you with their passwords and user IDs, that is useful info. Touchy, some kids will be very uncomfortable with that. But that's the only way you're going to help them manage anything online. I'm not good with it myself; my MIL took $3k out to buy my hubby's sister a used car without our permission. That was a local bank where she was, our back-up emergency funds we had set aside. Her definition of "emergency" covered anyone in the family; mine was for my husband and myself! Do have a talk about what limits are on managing an account/debt for them so you're on the same page.

[Debby]

You know I was told by Navy Federal they require the POA to be faxed each time because they had a rash of men/women returning from deployment and their accounts are cleaned out by the person they left the POA too. How horrible!!! My son puts me in charge of everything for him... and even says mom if you need to borrow money its ok... I would never even consider touching his money regardless of any "emergency"

He does trust me with everything... I log into his checking account set up his payments.. when he can call we discuss paying off a credit card or what will be put into his savings account ect. but I do nothing without him saying do it.. I make sure his bills are paid on time, I feel as he protects us.. I protect his credit, his money his financial future..

Debby

[Debby]

I have found most will take it but once I faxed it in its only good for 24 hours.. I have to fax it in each time I need to do something for my son with his account. The issue I am having now is that Navy Federal tried to take his payment out of the wrong account... the notice they sent that he had insufficient funds had the wrong account number on it.. so now I am trying to fix that.. their fax was down so I am going to try again to refax this on monday and straighten the mess out... but in the mean time I sent them the payment.. I just need to ensure they are taking it from the correct account so I dont have this problem again..

After speaking to Navy Fed though and hearing about what our guys are going through when they come home I totally understand why they dont...

Debby

[Anti M]

He's lucky he can trust you, and is fortunate to have a mom who can handle things for him when it gets tricky.

[diane {Shawns mom}]

thanks for posting this vitual info.
All my sons accounts are with Navy Federal and they even question POA>>but once it is put in their face they have NO reason to argue.
ONE thing...their are a few different POA...make SURE you have all done. It will make your life and your sailors life a lot less .....Complicated!

[Mary]

It has been a while since there have been any posts to this discussion. I'm beginning the process of preparing to handle my sons accounts while he's deployed. Are there any other concerns any of you can think of? My son trusts me, also. He seems relieved to know I'll be watching out for him while he's out to sea.

[Debby]

If your son can... have him put your name on every account.. if that's not possible make sure you can log into his bank accounts credit accounts insurance etc. This way you can do a lot for him behind the scenes and not have to deal with the individual companies. Get the power of attorney ..he can do that on base and mail it to you. Also some creditors/banks require "their" power of attorney he can call and find out which ones do and get that filled out and faxed back to them and mail you a copy of it too. As mentioned above.. make sure the POA is for medical, financial, even his car can be put on it( a general POA should cover all this)... so that way if you have to renew his tags etc you can do it.. I have learned a lot dealing with the different companies.. for both son's while they are in Iraq.. there's been times that I have literally cried on the phone had a total breakdown.. its so frustrating sometimes.. but now i know how to play their game.. Navy Federal will require you to refax the POA everytime you want to talk to them.. USAA will take it one time and keep it on file.. Bank of America I had to have my son's add me to their accounts.

Both son's have said they are so lucky they have a Mom that knows how to protect their interests while they are gone.. it takes so much off their minds.. I also did a spread sheet at the end of each month and send it to them showing whats been paid/ balances on their accounts etc... If I think of anything else I will let you know...

Debby

[Mary]

Thank you!! The spreadsheet is an excellent idea. I wonder if it can be attached in an email (using his military email address).

[Debby]

My son's use Yahoo so not sure...

[Mary]

Nick has an aol address, but on the ship I think he can only access his military email. I guess this is another thing I'll find out. If nothing else, I can keep the spreadsheet and he can view it when he's able to. Still a great idea and I am most appreciative for this discussion. :)