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Planning a Wedding
He got engaged on Friday and we are planning a wedding.
First question is: can his new wife go with him after Buds? Second question is : What time next year should we plan a wedding? June? Is there any time that is safe to plan on him being there? His Chief told him to wait until August 2012 to be positive. She wont wait that long and neither will I. Can someone help me with this.
Views: 92
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kathy (AOMom) on
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Well congrats on the engagement...young love! I cant answer your first question, but I am sure there are plenty who can.
As far as a safe time to plan...there really isnt one, most time off is basically approved at the last minute. But when he is done his training, he will know better when time off would work for him, based on his schedule, training, time earned. He will be earning 2.50 per month of leave time, so he will have plenty of time earned in a year, just depends on what the Navy wants him to be doing then. When my daughter completed A school she got to come home for a while, and also got to come home this Christmas, and she has only been in for a year, so anything is possible, but you will probably have to wait to see how his schedule and training is set before you make solid plans. Best of luck.
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Thank you for your response. I will wait for others and hopefully hear something possitive.
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Check with the recruiter but I would strongly suggest a wedding before boot camp or wait until 2012. It's virtually impossible to plan a wedding once he's in the Navy. My son was in A school when he got married but didn't know until 2 days before whether he'd got the leave. It was nerve wracking to say the least. They had a 2-day honeymoon then he had to go back to base. They didn't see one another again for months.
Achseh is right, if you're not able to organize a big wedding in the next 5 months then do a JP courthouse ceremony and save the big "do" until he has the time to spend on it. At least if they're married they can start getting their housing allowance etc.
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First thing is your son might want to talk to some of the guys who are SEALS. So many of them say SEALS is not condusive to married life. I know there are many who are married but there are many, many who either never married or have divorced. Your son has a long time in training if he gets all the way through it, so he will not have any type of "normal" marriage. This is just something to think about. Meanwhile I wish him the very best with his choice.
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It is very, very true that trying to plan a wedding with someone in the Navy is extremely difficult!There is no safe time. I recently married my husband in August of 2009, but it almost didn't happen. I personally have always wanted the traditional wedding and reception and therefore refused to give up on that dream and get married in a courthouse...it is the most important day of my life and there was no way I was not going to make it meaningful to me and my husband. However, it was extremely hard to get all of the details done with a Navy schedule. We had found a time that he was told he would have off, but two weeks before the wedding his chiefs told him his schedule was changing and he would not be able to come home. It was only by chance that for his section ONLY they changed the schedule again so he ended up being able to come home. The entire process of planning the wedding was very frustrating since the Navy was constantly changing things and of course, not having him around to go to all the vendors was hard too. Most of my husband's friends in the Navy have ended up getting married on one of the weekends they get off, kind of a spur of the moment kind of thing. Other than that, all you really can do is wait. If we hadn't caught a break, we still wouldn't be married...maybe the wait would be good for your son and his fiance so they can both get used to the Navy life and see if their relationship can endure it since there is a lot of time spent apart from each other. I wish them the best though and hope it all works out for them.
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Thank you so much. Our biggest problem right now is that he is going onto BUDS. We don't even know whether he will make it through hell week or not. If he does it is one schedule of schooling if he does not it is another. We have no one in military. We don't even know people in the military.We just know he wants this badly.
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This is where you will all learn the first lesson- Patience. It will be a word and emotion you will use a lot.
With his schooling you won't know how things are going to go. Also things can happen in boot that move him back and that in turns changes the other school.
I would do either the quicky and wait til letter to do the big doings until the time will allow. Also I have to agree this life is not for the faint at heart. You have plans and they can get changed at anytime. You will be living with NAVY time and it is not always your time.
I wish them luck and hope they both can find some SEALs to talk to for the active duty stuff and a wife that has been there done that. they need to go in with their eyes wide open.
My hubby wasn't a seal but I have met a few wives that were married to SEALs it is different. I am also a mom who's son was married and now isn't.
Good luck to you and your family.
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