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Am I being selfish?
Since high school, I wanted to get into the military... Honestly, I never thought about the Navy and AF was it for me.... Right after 9-11, my mom made me "wait until the Wars over" which I respected and waited. I went to college and soon after met my current fiance.... We have been together since 2003 and I always told him I was going to join the AF.... He asked me to wait, and again, I did...Fast forward to Dec 2009. My mom asked me whatever happened to joining the AF. I told her with all the weight I gained, it would be impossible. She told me that with determination, I could lose the weight and join... so I did... I started losing weight and during that process did TONS of research and found the Navy to be for me.... So 26.8 lbs later, here I am attempting to shed another 40 before I can enlist.... My fiance has cerebal palsy and is currently getting tested for Diabates... Hes in no way at the point where he is unable and unfit to take care of himself, but I would rather he not travel and be somewhere alone in unfamiliar territory in the event something happens... He doesnt want me to lose the weight to join, but more to be healthy and at the same time doesnt fully support my weight loss bc he knows I will then go enlist.... Then he throws his disability at me and thinks that if he is diagnosed with diabetes, i will then have to stay at home with him and not join. His mother has joined in on this "guilt trip" as well and now I feel selfish for wanting to join.... Should I? Should I feel selfish if he is daignosed with diabetes and im leaving him behind? His father has a bad case of diabetes and often has "episodes" that have, twice in the last 2 years, put him in the hospital.
I know the answer is if you love him and you know he could be like his dad, to stay, but at the same time, i REALLY want this...
Thanks for any comments!
****Update as of 5/19. He rcvd a call back about his blood work... test results came back negative. No diabetes!!! Dr advised to keep up with a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent the future possibility of anything occuring.... Meaning a better diet and cutting back on those cigarettes****
Views: 319
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by AnxiousFutureRecruit on
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Actually, it was the other way around.... When we first met, he was the one doing the house chores, he didnt work, brought in SSI income and she pocketed it as "rent" money.... Having to "take care" of him again might not be a bad thing again for her, but she knows that he will not move back in and he will not give her any money. So the thought of watching over him and not getting anything out of it is prob the main issue here... We'll see how it pans out, but like you say, if I let his wants and needs get in the way of mine, I will resent him for it.... As soon as I shed these pounds, I will make every attempt to join and make sure I stay in the US Navy!
Thanks Chris!
BunkerBee, I used to be afraid of success. I didnt want to be the "man" of the house but I see now that in order to be ahead in life, I'm going to have to be. I used to not care about how I looked bc I had him, but when I started losing weight, even after 10 lbs, people at work noticed and it made me feel good about myself! So now, being successful is my top priority. I'm young and I need to focus on me.
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Permalink Reply by wendymm(proud mom of a SAILOR!!) on
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Love is a two way street. If you really love someone you help that person achieve their dreams. You share dreams with them, you don't sabotage every effort a person is making to achieve those dreams. You are not the selfish one here! Be thankful that you don't have a child ,( well actually you do, because your fiance is acting like one) because that would be one more thing he and his mother would use to make you feel guilty. It is very hard to end a relationship,but you deserve to be happy and live your life to the fullest! If you do not try to make your dreams come true because of what your fiance wants, later in life you will have regrets. I speak from experience. When I was young I wanted to join the Marines. But as I said I was young and let others convince me that I would not succeed and that it would be too hard. To this day I regret my decision not to join. Remember you deserve to be happy, and do everything possible to make your dreams come true. If this is being selfish, so be it. You deserve it.You have your family supporting you and that is great. I think you know what you want.Now just go after it! Good luck!
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Hi Wendy and thanks for your reply! Love is indeed a two way street and lately its been feeling like its a one way.... I think if we did have any kids, this decision would be a LOT harder to make, but having this "adult child" is what made me get on here and start this discussion... Its harder than most think. I regret not getting into the military when i had the chance but luckily, i can give myself another and I will not let it slip by for any reason or for any person. But i do know what I want and I will go for it. He can chose to support me along with my family or back off, but either way I'm going to do it. I have the most important thing a person needs and thats the support of my mom and dad.
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Permalink Reply by BunkerQB on
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Be sure to drop in periodically and let us know how you are progressing. We'll all be here to cheer you on the day of your swearing in. Ask your parents to take a picture for us and post please. It may take a little time but looking back, you will have no regrets. Then your mom will have to join N4M as a mom of daughter going to BC!
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I sure will! Thanks ladies, i appreciate the support very much! I will be sure to have her take pics. This is a journey I dont want to forget. She said she will join after I'm gone. Thinks if she joins before hand, it will depress her even more and force me to not leave lol
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Permalink Reply by Saoirse3 on
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Are YOU being selfish? I think anyone who lays a guilt trip on someone to MAKE them carry unrealized dreams is the selfish one. Is he going to use his disability as an excuse every time he doesn't want you to do something? Personalli, I think he is holding his disability over your head. Let's think about YOU. How do you want YOUR life to go. Nobody owns you, controls you or has the right to determine what is right for you BUT you. And if he truly LOVED you, he'd stop trying to kill you with second-hand smoke!
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All very valid points Saoirse! We tried to have another talk last night about his unhealthy habits and lack of support... Says he will quit for me and support what decisions I make... Only time will tell to see if he actually implements and keeps his "promise." But I will definetely keep you all posted on the progress and his "transition" to a better lifestyle and a more supportive fiance.... And when I say tried to have another talk... He nodded and said yes I promise and seemed like he was hearing me, but not listening to me... *sigh* we'll see.......
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Indeed it is!! I'm well aware now and will keep you all posted on his progress =)
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I am going to focus on myself... It's my life and I need to focus on me! Ive spent so much time trying to make others happy, i neglected myself in the process... But I need to stop in order to truly be happy. I though making others happy would make me happy, not playing that game anymore bc I strike out every time. Thanks for the words and confidence!!
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I'm glad to hear they lost the weight they needed. Definetely the motivation I need to keep me going. I want this really badly. I considered taking appetite loss pills to help curve my craving, but decided I want to do it naturally. Plus, I dont know whats in them that may show up on a drug test or come back to hurt my health in the future... So while doing it naturally will take longer, it will be healthier and better for me in the long run. Getting into the USN will be worth it all so I'm willing to do what needs to be done to get there. How does your daughter like being a Sailor and how does your son like being a Marine? I bet the stories you get are completely different! lol... You must be a proud mom =)
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Look at the active ingredients in most appetite suppressant pills... noting but decongestants! I know losing weight is tough, I struggle with it, I struggled when I was in the Navy. The only thing which works for me is portion control and getting active.
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