Growing Concerns - DEP Nuke w/ Wife and Kids

[fireb0x]

Howdy,

I am a DEP Nuke, heading out later this year to boot camp. When I leave, I'll be 25 with a wife and 2 children heading into the Nuke program.

I am a little older and my study habits, work ethic, and focus are a little further along than most fresh out of high school recruits (I have 2 associates degrees, one in engineering, that I just finished up).

I have been reassured by my recruiter that I will do just fine, but the sentiment doesn't seem to be shared by people who are currently part of the nuke program and this concerns me a little.

I know that alot of this depends on how well my wife and I manage our new life, but I guess I am looking for some sort of guidance on whether or not we are in over our heads. I feel like my study habits and work ethic can get me through nuke school, but I worry that the work life of a nuke might be too much for me to be a father to my kids and husband to my wife.

This is even more complicated by the fact that I have goals to finish off a degree while in the Navy with the hopes of becoming an officer one day.

Am I being too ambitious? I feel like we can do it, but I am just nervous that I am underestimating my future life and should pursue a different rate/program.

[fireb0x]

Thanks for the input, I definitely value the opinion of others here. I've talked with my wife alot about this and we believe that we have the strength to take on the task. I suppose only time will tell, but we are going into it with good resolve and great determination.

Thanks for the input!

[ChrisAmo]

My son was 29 when he went in and he soon found that his maturity was a huge advantage (once he got over being ordered about by guys years younger than him!). His study habits, attention to detail and perseverance got him through boot camp, A school, C school plus all the extra training needed for AIRR. He's married (no kids yet) and his wife has a job so she'll be busy while he's deployed. I was an Air Force wife with 2 kids during Viet Nam and my husband was gone 2 out of 3 years. I soon learned that it was up to me to be strong and raise my kids. If you and your wife set your goals and stick to a plan, you can get through this and come out the other side in fine shape.

[Pat]

As the mom of a Nuke in the fleet, if you want to serve your country and you have the desire to be a Nuke...you can become a Nuke.
Look into the rates MM, ET, and EM ahead of time. Get a feel for what each rate does. Once in boot camp you will be asked to list your order of preference. You will be placed based on the Navy's need and your wish list. Goose Creek, SC will be the site for your schooling, which will most likely be approx 2 years of your six year commitment. Always be your best and strive to be at the top.
Nuke training is very difficult, but you can make it. There is a Nuke wives page on this site. Your wife will not be alone in SC.
Have you decided on surface or sub?

[josephsproudwifey]

Hi! I am the wife of a nuke who just made e-4 and gratuated A school. I understand how scary it is all the info out there about how hard the program is, how tough on your marraige. Let me start out by saying that while the program is incredibly challenging, it is doable. Your age and your school experience will help you greatly. Many of the guys here flunked out of college (mostly due to boredom, not lack of intellegence, of course) and the rule seems to be that if you work extremely hard and are focused you will be fine. My husband was terrified going into school. He has a GED and dropped out of his first semester of comunnity college. He knew he wanted to do something great for us that would secure our future, so he put himself into it completely and he is doing wonderful . The program will get you farther faster than any other in the navy. My husband is the one who studies the longest ( he does struggle because of his lack of schooling) but he decided to do it so he does.

As for your relationship, if you are going in strong, you will be fine. I am always so sad for the guys who get married right out of boot camp to girls they barely know and are already filing for divorce. Those will not make it. But if you guys are established, this will probably only strengthen you. Joe has been the best husband he has ever been while we have been here, despite how stressed he is. Let your wife know that she and your kids are your priority and that you do it for them. Because it really is a wonderful, stable job with good money and benefits, especially considered what is out there in the civilian world.
I was terrified when my husband made this choice for us, I couldn't picture him doing this. Now that we are here, and I see how hard he works to make a life for us, I see the wisdom he had in choosing this and I couldn't be more proud of him. And though we weren't ready for kids before this began, we are now thinking about them because we are able to with the stability he has given us and I know that he will make a wonderful father. And part of that is due to what the nuke program has done for him. He is doing something hard, something that matters, and it has made him realize his true potential.

I really hope this helps ease your fears some. If you have any specific questions, I am more than happy to try to answer them. I know this process can be overwhelming. Best of luck to you and your family!

[josephsproudwifey]

p.s- don't forget that you will have at least 2 years in SC of your 6 in the navy that you will be going home to your wife and kids every night, no deployments. That really is worth a lot. It helps you guys get acclimated to Navy life before having to deal with deployments.