care for baby while dtr is in boot camp?

[Smokey's Person]

My daughter just told me she had been accepted into the Navy--was a shock because I didn't know anything about it.  She is 22 with a 19 month old son (single mom) and lives across the country from me.  She says there will be a caretaker for her son while she is at boot camp.  Does anyone know if this is true?  I thought they had to arrange for their own child care.
Thanks,
Smokey's Person

[Anti M]

They do not arrange for care. Why would they spend that much money when unattached recruits are a dime a dozen? Besides, it is against the rules for her to enlist. I don't know how she got accepted, she is supposed to give up legal custody of her child completely in order to join the Navy. Single parents are not eligible for enlistment. I'd like to know how she got this one past the recruiter?

http://military.plainfacts.net/category/enlistment/

Dependents. You may not have more than two dependents (including your spouse) if you are married. Single parents are not eligible for enlistment. If you are married to a military member and have children, you are only eligible to enlist if you obtain a special waiver.

http://www.navy.com/navy/joining/getting-started/#singleparent

"If you are a single parent, you cannot enlist in the Navy. If you have joint custody of a child by court order, and you do not have a spouse (who is not considered a spouse for enlistment standards), you are considered a single parent. In the event your former spouse takes full custody of your child/children, you can qualify for enlistment."


Sounds a lot like "Melody" who posted a few months back and was told she couldn't do it! If so, she's engaging in fraud. Hope this is just a coincidence. She'd get nailed the moment she tried to add the child to her page two as a dependent. Best case, a discharge, worst case, jail time. I am not assuming this is your daughter, but this other young lady had similar concerns. Here is the discussion:

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/seriously-considering-the-navy

[Anti M]

Sorry, I didn't see it was a son, not a daughter as the baby. But the discussion I linked to is relevant. Sorry for being so hasty!

[Smokey's Person]

Wow, well I was a bit suspicious--sounded too good to be true. I'm not sure what she is really doing, perhaps she is even with the baby's father though she says she isn't. I will call her on it when I speak to her again. She has a history of not being truthful so I'm not really surprised....thank you.

[Anti M]

No point in joining the Navy for the benefits for your dependent when you have to hide that you have one!

I hope she does the right thing. I don't think she understands how serious fraudulent enlistment is.

[Smokey's Person]

Well, the only thing I know for sure is that she was in the Chicago area recently--I could tell from the area codes of phones she was using. Other than that, I don't know what is going on. I probably won't get a straight story but maybe I'll get something closer to the truth. Again, I thank you for your help and will update when I know anything.

[Anti M]

Scary! I have a stepson like that. Never heard a single word when he was in the Army. He "might" have a daughter. Sheesh, huh?

If she's in boot camp, which yes, is the Chicago area, you won't hear from her for a while. Yikes.

Let's hope it goes well.

[Smokey's Person]

Well, she isn't in boot camp yet. She is supposedly on her way back to Seattle and she is supposed to start boot camp on Aug. 17th. I don't know, I think she could be with the baby's father who is a real loser. He wanted her to join the Navy when the baby was 3 weeks old--he couldn't join because he has a criminal record. In fact, would the Navy let her join if she was married to someone with a criminal record?

[Anti M]

Yes, they will. It might affect any security clearance and keep him from going overseas with her.

[Smokey's Person]

Wow, I'm glad I found you! You've been so helpful and informative. Okay, I will just have to see what unfolds, nothing I can do about any of it but I can set my boundaries with my dtr again and not get taken in again. I was so hoping she was getting on a good path and maybe she is but something isn't right. My gut feeling told me something was not right--thanks for answering me so quickly!

[Anti M]

Chanell.. while in training... you do realize that means more than boot camp? That also means A school and C school, which can run nearly two years. What about eight month + deployments? What if your child gets sick and needs to go to the doctor? You cannot just get time off to care for your child. Someone else has to do that. Then there are duty days which can be 24 hours every four days. Drills with no notice which keep you at work for days? Being called into work in the middle of the night, not knowing when you can go home? Can you find 24 hour on the spot child care? What if you receive overseas orders, where E-3 and below cannot take dependents? That's three years!

Has your recruiter told you any of this? No, he hasn't, has he? I also have the feeling he's not telling you this is fraudulent enlistment if you do not give up custody for the entire first enlistment. That's four to six years. Which potentially can put your ass in jail, not his. Do not be suckered in, ask other recruiters, others who know military law.

[Smokey's Person]

Just an update from me on my dtr. I have talked to her and she says she gave up legal rights to her son a yr ago. This is probably the case--it makes the most sense to me in light of what I know and what was going on in her life a year ago. I do know she is in Illinois now and says she is waiting for her enlistment date. I guess I will find out eventually if she really has joined or not but I have my own life to live and don't think about it all that much anymore.
Thanks,
Jane

[chanell]

Such a fast response thanks for the update but i unerstand that for bootcamp and Trainong school he cannot come. but what job training is two to three years?