Need Some Info

[MyBoysAllGrownUp]

Hi. I have an 18 year old son, soon to be 19. Unfortunately, he lived with his father, who instilled some not so good traits into my son and we are trying to undo those habits. My son has a recruiter calling him this evening to discuss his options. We chose the Navy because my son wants the least amount of chance to see combat. He does, however, wish to pursue a career in IT or something in the computer field and the navy has probably the best training for these career fields. We are somewhat concerned about his chances of getting in because when he was 9, he was diagnosed with ADHD due to lead poisoning. He is off meds and has been since he was 14. I disclosed all of this to our local recruiting office. Has anyone else experienced this issue and how was it looked upon by the Navy?

Thanks!

[MyBoysAllGrownUp]

I spoke with the recruiter and he did say that he would need a waiver. But,if he has been off of meds for this long and has had no legal problems at all and can get clearance from MEPS, Chief said it shouldn't be a problem. My son has done well as far as learning coping skills, so, I don't see a problem. We are going in Friday morning to sit down face to face and get the ball rolling. My son is also on the phone with Strayer University as we speak to enroll, which will be required since he has a GED. He had planned on enrolling anyway, so, this just pushes it up a bit. My son did his homework last night. He scoured the Navy website, talked to friends who were currently enlisted, talked to my father-in-law, who is a Retired Navy CWO and a guy whose girlfriend left for BC last week. He approached me this morning and said he wants to do it. So, we are going to start the process. Wish us luck!

[Lynne]

Please make sure you search all areas of his medical past, contact his pediatrician, and cover any and all "blips" in his history. Any medication he took for depression, ADHD, anything at all, please get waivers for them. Please, please please...if your son's recruiter tells you that "you don't need to worry about that" (anything in your son's past...anything) PLEASE do not believe him! Many recruiters have led our kids down a BAD path with suggestions of not disclosing information, or convince our kids that their medical past/legal past is not important enough to worry about...(My son has just come home from being discharged because HIS past with ADHD did not have a waiver because his recruiter told him to "not worry about it...it happened over 6 years ago and will not be important enough to get a waiver for" Yes, my son believed him and has paid the price for it.

I understand that your son's recruiter has told him the truth that he will need some attention to this issue and will need a waiver. That is a good start. If he says you need a waiver for the ADHD but he does not need a waiver for some other medical issue, just PLEASE disclose everything...cover everything and get second and maybe third opinions before you send your son off. It is heartbreaking to a recruit and to his family when he has to be discharged because he did not get everything squared away beforehand.

[ChrisAmo]

All this is absolutely correct. He MUST disclose everything, even the most minor detail. Better to have to wait and jump through all of the waiver hoops than to be separated because something was discovered that he didn't reveal. Pay attention to what Lynn has posted, she's been through all this and unfortunately the results were not good.

[MyBoysAllGrownUp]

Well, aside from the ADHD, he has no other medical issues. He has NEVER been seen for ANYTHING other than routine well child appointments and the ADHD. No depression, no surgeries, NEVER had ANY legal problems. I have spoken to my son's paediatrician and Dr. John is going to send the Navy all my son's medical records. He has also told me (and I trust Dr. John explicitly) that he would make sure it is noted the age in which my son was taken off his meds and the fact that my son has learned to control his ADHD issues. Dr. John was his paediatrician for 12 years and has never steered me wrong. Heck, other than the DARE officer when he went through the DARE program, my son has never even spoken to a police officer.

My father-in-law is a retired CWO and even told my son to make sure he gets the waiver, as did the Chief and PO we spoke with. Everything they have told us, I have written down and took it to my father-in-law. The guy who lives behind us is a Marine and he also told us to write EVERYTHING down. We are in no hurry. It will be at least 7-8 months before they can get him to BC. So, we have plenty of time to get all of our ducks in a row. I definitely do not want my son to fall between the cracks.

It is hard for these kids when they have worked so hard to learning coping mechanisms so they can fulfill their dreams, only to have them shot down. It is hard enough on a child with no issues. But, can be more devastating to a child with ADHD. They tend to feel like they have failed and can shatter them and send them back to step one. I have seen this personally in my son and it is also heartbreaking to a parent to see their child broken like that.

I have also told my son about the possibility of not being allowed to join because of the ADHD. So,he is going in with his eyes wide open. We hope it all works out for him. He enrolled in college yesterday and starts Monday. he hopes to work in Homeland Security Systems. He is so optimistic. He told me even if it doesn't work out, he can still use his degree to do what he really wants to do. But, I know he will be devastated if the ADHD prevents him from following in his uncle and both grandfather's footsteps in being in the Navy.

[Lynne]

Hi
Sounds like you are doing all that you can do. I wish your son the very best that his dreams become a reality for him! We only wish that we had some of the knowledge we have today about how to go about this whole process. A hard lesson to learn, but a very necessary lesson in moving forward. Again, all the best.

[2navymen02div915]

My son who chose to live with his father after we divorced began to pick up some traits from his fathers side that I disapproved of. He and I remained close and I noticed he seemed down after learning that my younger son had enlisted with the navy on his own. One day after a small incident I drove him to the recruiters office and walked him in. The day after he started the procedure of getting in he walked a little taller and I swear he looked like a new boy. "The Goal has been set, The direction of his life made clear". I know I will be very very very sad when both my boys leave but he knows I know he would have been lost to me if he had stayed with his father any longer.
I wish you well in getting your boy in because its most likely what he needs in his life. "to make you proud"
I know I am. : )

[MyBoysAllGrownUp]

I do not think it is about making me proud. But, rather, making him proud of himself. I am proud of my son regardless. He needs discipline and to grow up. He has come a long way since he came back home last year. I can lay out the path. But, ultimately, it is up to him to walk down it. I think his decision to join is a big step for him. All I did was throw it out there and he made the decision.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

I just wanted to say that my fiance has two guys in his division that have ADHD- one is a first class petty officer and the other is a second class- and he consistently tells me that they are two of his hardest working guys and I know he's given both of them fantastic reviews and fully expects them both to excel in the navy. So it can be done!! You hear a lot about the ones who have problems but I think that not enough people give credit to those who don't- so please don't get discouraged and tell your son to keep trying if it's what he wants!

[Lynne]

Navyprincess, I totally agree with with your fiance. ADHD, or just the ADD can certainly be something that can work in one's favor instead of something that works against someone. I know for my son, if he only knew about the need for waivers for ANYTHING that was in his medical history, no matter how many years in the past that it happened, perhaps I would be attending his PIR which would have been this coming friday, because my son surprised himself on how WELL he did while there.
Just a comment about ADD in the military...It seems, that military environment could be very conducive because of its strict structure. My son did quite well while in the boot camp environment..definitive orders were given, the tasks were carried out. No room to think about anything else. He tells me that the strict structure and the narrow parameters, are two things that helped him not only succeed while there but for the first time ever, he discovered just how capable he was!