Heart Wrenching Boot Camp Call

[Janeen]

7/18/08 We got the call from our son Adam at midnight last night( Pacific time) " I am at boot camp and I arrived safely, then a quick I love you from me and a quiet I love you too from him and goodbye. I am finding this so hard I can barley write this. I hurt all over and the tears are constant. He is my youngest of 6 you would think I would be good at this by now but at last I am not. If there is anyone who can relate I would appreciate hearing from you . Thanks Janeen

[Brenda Sue]

Janeen, I beleive that there are - oh - about 3,000 moms on here that can relate to you!!! Just contact any of us and we will cry with you. I would find some moms who have sons in boot camp right now and maybe even in your sons division. You might find his bunkmate and really get the scoop on what is going on!!!
Just read, read, read, on here - This website has become my lifeline to hold on to when I am missing my Sailor sooooo much!!!

[Janeen]

Thanks sue ,
I knew about his belongings being send back and I am sure I will cry again. I just am praying that we can go to his Graduation I don't want to miss it , His A school is also in Chicago so he will be gone 15 weeks it looks like.

[Janeen]

Hi Kathy,
I also have another son who was in the Marines he joined at 18 in 1991. That seems so long ago and with six kids I had a lot going on at home. I know I worried and missed him and was gluded to the TV when he was in Samaila. But this seems so much harder. Was it that way for you the second time? I guess Adam being the youngest and the only one left at home for the last 7 years we became so close , and I know I am so blessed to have such a wonderfull relationship with him. He has always been mature for his age and level headed where as not all my kids were, they are all so differant, unique and I love them all to death. Thank you for crying with me , it still hasn't stopped but I don't feel odd for my tears after reading that I am not alone. Did you feel like a knot had settled in your stomach too? I feel like a part of me is missing. Again thank you ,and I know I will have more question as the days go by. Janeen

[Janeen]

LuAnn I don't know his ship or division yet but will write back when I do . Thanks for the reply Janeen

[terri]

Janeen, you could probably call the recruiter monday to find out his ship and division. My son's told me to call two days after he left and I did and he had the info. That way you can start sending that mail right out.Good luck and you have come to the right place. Warning-this site is addicting!!

[Darla]

Janeen: Just pray, that's all you can do. Every time he crosses your mind, say a prayer for him. Imagine all the prayers that will go up for him.

[ChrisAmo]

Hi new moms! Don't despair, all will be well. The first 3 weeks are the worst, the not-knowing, the lack of communication, then the letters will come, one a week if you're lucky. They are given so little time to write (Sunday mornings, for an hour or so). But that shouldn't stop you from writing as often as you want. Just remember to keep it simple as far as the envelopes are concerned. Lay off the stickers and I love you's on the outside, you don't want to do anything to draw attention to your recruit. Some RDC's (Recruit Division Commanders) are OK with musical cards, others hate them and make recruits dance to the music or everyone has to do extra PT until the batteries run down. So better not to send them until you find out if it's OK.

If you think the first 3 weeks are hard for you, just think what your kid is going through. My son is older and has traveled a lot and thought he was prepared but even he questioned his decision at first. Now he's graduated and on his way and says it was exactly what he needed to make him pay attention to his life. He's doing great and is a very proud sailor.

Check into some of the groups like "boot camp moms" and see if there's a group for your recruit's Division and ship #. Also the PIR date should have a group. There's something for everyone, you just have to look for it.

[Vicki French]

I agree with Chris, write him every day if you need too! My son specifically asked me to write everyday. I have to admit, I didn't have much to write about but between my mom and I - we had him covered. I wrote him about 4 times a week and my mom about 3 times. One thing we found that helped fill the pages...family stories and memories. My mom shared a lot about her father who was a SeaBee during WWII - I think that has helped him get through each day.

[Dianne (Drew's Mom)]

Yes, my son also asked me to write every day. He was an avid reader, and he said the letters were the only things he had to read. He is now in Sub School, and the other day a bunch of mail caught up to him from Great Lakes. He said, "It's funny. When you are in boot camp you look forward to the letters, you read them right away. You even stay up re-reading them when you should be sleeping. But now that I can call, they don't seem to matter as much."

[Vicki French]

Janeen, about a year ago I was involved in a volunteer program and a Carmelite nun shared this with us.

When it is time for a woman to give birth, the baby releases a hormone. This hormone flows from the baby to its mother and into her blood stream where it settles deep in her brain. This hormone ensures the babies early survival by bonding the mother to that child. Each child give us mothers their very own hormone...so when a mother says she loves her children equally but differently, well, we do.

I believe it may start with a hormone...but its the lifelong nurturing we give our children: the magic mommy kisses for boos-boos, the shared events, the cuddling, the homemade mothers day cards --- the absolute uncontested love we have for and give to our kids that makes each experience with each of them separate and unique and makes separation such a heart ache!

I'm not surprised that you aren't "good at this by now." How could any of us be "good at this?" We've just sent our children off to become men and women...and what fine young men and women they are becoming! Each day will get a little less hard...and your pride in and love for you son will grow even more!

Have any of your other children joined the military?

[Janeen]

Hi Vicki, Thanks so much for the notes. I am getting so many. Wow I will try and respond to them all but seem to be moving in slow motion. Yes my second son was a Marine , he joined in 1991 When adam was a year old. He was in Samalia which was quite a scary time, I remember being glued to the tv all the time. That was hard too, but with so many kids still at home and him just being in San Diego I don't remember feeling this bad. And he was assigned to the west coast . Except for the 2 floats Also Adam came 7 years after my daughter and she left the nest at 18 so its just been Adam with us for the past seven years and him being the youngest I was able to spend more time with him. I have always done daycare so was at home. We are very close and have a great relationship. Wed night we went down to LA to take him to dinner before he left. He huged me like he didn't want to let go. I know this connection will always be there and I am so proud of him. I am so glad to be able to find others that understand and maybe I can be myself with and not hide how bad I am feeling, they are not being mean just they don't understand I guess. Well I guess I am running on Thanks so much JAneen

[Kim]

I promise it will get easier. Just know u are not alone. Each day it will get easier. It's ok to feel this way. It's normal we're moms. Take 1 day at a time. Than soon it will be Adam's PIR. You think you have tears now. It will be the most awesome experience. Just write to him everyday. I always tried remembering all the good times. I do it everyday now that my son is deployed to Afghan last week. Itry to keep busy. This site has kept me sane. You will not be alone thru this. Kim