Im "that" girl who joined the Navy and hasnt told her family yet...

[Anthy]

I havent had much contact with my immediate family for a year and I will be joining the Navy in Feb 2011. I genuinely feel that soon would be a good time to tell them. Im just looking for words of support and just any tidbits of information that I may overlook to inform them with in terms of...well, everything! Its just kinda overwhelming and I wanna plan ahead as much as possible.

And also, I will be a Logistics Specialist- FTS and so far Ive researched that its likely I will be stationed at the same base for a long period of time, which I like because one of my main goals is to finish my BA.

Any input would help, Ive posted this before with no answers and Im really starting to get stressed out.

Thanks soon-to-be Navy family =)

[mrssauce60]

Way to go Anthy! Your mom and dad will be fine! They just need time to process your decision. Gosh, I am so proud of you and glad you did it!

[Carol]

Good for you telling your folks, they will get over it and be proud of you in the long run. This is your life and you will be ok, so will they. Head up, feet planted firmly on the ground and walk proudly my dear.

[NitaBee]

I agree with LadyHawk. Its time for you to fly. My mom wasn't all that thrilled when I joined the USAR like 30 yrs ago, but she got over it. I knew there was nothing for me on the outside...I wanted more for my life. But I didn't make it out of basic.. The m-16 rifle got in my way. But since I was a "defer", I did gain some experience in my field as I worked at the VA hospital for 7 months t'l it was timr for mr to go to basic training. It was fun, hard woek , but fun to be away from home. I didn't make it to "a" school. in San Antonio Tx. I could have joined up again 2 yrs later but I decided against it. I found out my son had signed up for the NAvy by accident. He was going to tell me himself, but i found out whn I came home from work one day and saw a NAvy baseball cap on hubby.

I was alittle hurt that he didn't share his thoughts with me, but I understood why.. He didn't want to disappoint me in case he changed his mind. Nothing he could ever do would disappoint me. or make me stop loving him. I think your parents will come around eventually. Don't you give up on your dream. When they see you at PIR, they will be so proud.. I think the fact they heard it thru the grapevine, made them feel a bit taken back by the news.

[mamawalrus]

I agree with Da Busch,, the more information you can present to them with the reasons why and the mor eyou confident you sound the better. While your dad has not reached out, it may be a good thing and allowing him to think about it first. Cna you give them stuff printed off the internet that you have researched on your future job? that way they can read it themselves. Invite your recruitor over and have him/her answer any questions they many have? Just some ideas to help them feel better about your decision.
Can I ask why they would be against you joining?
You have made a mature decision and remember you will learn a trade, while being taken care of and earning your degree. It does not have to be forever either...Such a small step in such a big life. Good Luck and keep us informed.

[Anthy]

Hi mamawalrus, & thanks for your response. I agree, and am only hoping for positive things via the silence and am not taking it as a bad thing. I feel like, hey ball is in their court now.
If she is, my mother would be against it simply because its not something she would do& in the past (when we were uber close) I had wanted to join the USAF and she didnt want me to go, so I didnt. But then again, I wasnt mentally ready to do something like that as I believe life has now prep'd me to be. So its all good timing. My father back then was supportive & encouraged the USAF back then (he actually brought it up) and he was Army Reserve for a while when I was in elementary school. Its just simply the weight of after 1 year of separation, when most people would stick around and try to recindle now, Im actually leaving. So I just wanted to be as mature and as sensitive as possible to make sure they understand that its not something im doing to punish them, but somthing Im doing for myself. Which Im kinda glad I said something sooner than later, given the reaction I got. lol.

[FLMom]

Anthy,
I don't know your family circumstances, but I can give you advice from a mother whose daughter just finished bootcamp. My daughter and I are extremely close and when she told me she was joining the Navy, I had so many mixed emotions, I could hardly separate them. At first I was heartbroken, for me....I didn't want her away from me at all. But how could I NOT feel proud of her and support her 1,000%?
My advise to you would be just explain to them all the "adult reasons" you are making this choice. Any issues you may or may not have with your family should not be a factor in the conversation as to why you are joining. It should be all about the benefits that the Navy has to offer you that you cannot find anywhere else at this point in time. Financial, including medical, dental, career training, etc. If they have computer access, give them links on the computer to check out.
Bring them brochures. Your recruiter can help you with that. Plant your feet firmly on the ground and show them you have thought this through for all the right reasons. Again, whatever the family dynamics is, should not sway your determination to do what might be the best thing you have ever done for yourself. Good Luck, and let us know how it turns out!!!

[Anthy]

Hey all!
First and foremost, I want to thank each and everyone of you for your prayers and support. It really means alot to me. I have a Blackberry phone& everytimg I get an email from N4M, I feel like I just recieved a text from a close friend or family memeber. So thank you all again, and I will soon address each of your messages induvidually in due time.
So far, nothing has really happend in terms of my family. One positive thing is that there is less hostility from my mother (due to the reason we stopped talking in the first place) and I get to spend more time with my siblings, who look up to me sooo much (Im the oldest) and is a huge part of why Im so driven in the first place.
I feel alot more relaxed now that its not a secret, and am praying that my family does heal alot of their issues, but at the same time, Im trying to stay focused. Im working 2 jobs to pay off debt I owe my college so I can take a class and adv to E2 on top of doing what I have to do in DEP to hopefully adv to E3, since Im not sure how quick the adv rate is for FTS, I want to adv as quick as possible

[Carol]

Hello,
I am a mother of a son that joined when he was still in high school and just getting ready to graduate. He left for the summer before he went into the 12th grade, said he'd be gone about 7 weeks visiting friends that were gone now. He was a good boy so we were not concerned. So he came home and went to school. No word of joining the Navy. He was afraid of telling us, but myself was the main no no to tell. My son and I are very close and he was afraid I would not except his choice and would stop him somehow or another. I was very upset when he did tell me, but it hurt that he did not tell me what he wanted for his life. I would have said no no way but would have come to my sences later on, I think anyway. But anyway he asked us to take him to the airport after he graduated, same day of graduation matter of a fact. I asked him where you going, and said we have a graduation party planned that weekend. That is when he told us, I cried for weeks, but it just hurt again knowing that he felt that he could not tell me what he wanted for his life. God knows I would want the best for my son. So it took a toll on our relationship for awhile, but then I realized, I still love him no matter what, so why not now. We went to visit him before he left for Pakistan 14 months ago, and we are fine now, dont hear much from him cause he is so busy there. I want the best for him and want what he wants, but to talk to your parent about your concerns and ideas is better then the surprise like I got. Sit down tell them that this is where you would like to take your life at this time, to make sure that you have a good pention when it is time for you, to make sure you get a good eduaction that they can give you without you having to struggle paying for it. To learn to be a real woman and person. To be respected and honored for giving your life for others. God keep you safe my dear, but tell them now, talk to them, make them listen.
What ever you choose God speed to you, and may he watch over you and your family. Good luck

[Viki]

They will just have to be happy for you.Go girl !

[mamawalrus]

Hang in there and I know they will come around! THe fact that you are setting such a strong example to your siblings is awesome!!!!!!! Do you have a date your leaving yet?

[Anthy]

thank you!! and yes i leave 20110208 as a LS/FTS. my research tells me snagged a really sweet deal, ideal for having time to finish school. so i guess it was meant to be =)

[Labmom39 (Lori E.)]

I'm the mom of a daughter who didn't want to tell me she joined. Let me tell you...you need to tell them. In my daughters case...she told us after she had enlisted...wish she had discussed it with us 1st. She was DEP so we had almost a year to get used to the idea! Don't wait too much longer...February will be here before you know it. Good luck...and Kudos on wanting to finish your BA!